just_some_guy Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I'm just boiling inside, seething with anger. My stbx will soon be released from the hospital from her suicide attempt. She's doing better. Everyone will be looking after her, yay, hoorah. In the meantime, I'm dealing with all the anger of being drawn into this drama again. Of being there, of doing the right thing, again. Of being treated like crap for it. I've been perfect, stoic, done the right things, acted appropriately, walked the fine line of not being co-dependent. Perfect emergency responder, level-headed, cool, on the spot, under fire. In the mean time, the person I thought I could rely on for something as simple as a, "how are you doing?" has, immediately from hearing my plight, withdrawn and won't answer my calls or emails. Yeah, she has her own problems, but I thought we were at a point where there was some mutual concern. I don't need much, just an acknowledgement. I was there for her for some tough times because I cared. But hey, turn the tables and poof - gone. Oh well. I'm just venting, but I'm wishing I could just destroy the entire world, turn it into a smoking cinder of a planet, with nothing, not even a germ alive anywhere. All the people, all the animals, all the plants, the birds the fish the insects, everything, I wish it would all just vaporize into nothingness. I'm just venting the anger inside.
YellowShark Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 ...but I'm wishing I could just destroy the entire world, turn it into a smoking cinder of a planet, with nothing, not even a germ alive anywhere. All the people, all the animals, all the plants, the birds the fish the insects, everything, I wish it would all just vaporize into nothingness. I'm just venting the anger inside. Could you spare me? I have a few things I want to accomplish yet. But seriously just_some_guy I totally hear ya. I stood by my EX through sickness, alcoholism, financial woes, unemployment, depression, and her first infidelity. And what did I get in return for all those years of kindness and understanding? Her second affair. To add insult to injury she's completely sided with her affair partner.. who is married and cheating on his pregnant wife at home. Here I am helping her through all that drama and now those two have joined forces and even deny that I caught them red-handed in-the-act. Their cover story is that I am the screwed up one with the "issues." Therefore all I can say to you just_some_guy is walk away like I did. Leave your STBX to her own devices, and cut her off for good. If she contacts you don't respond, if she needs your help, too bad. Time to look out for #1 and #1 is you. Best of luck.
controlledchaos Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 i've had those days where i wanted the earth destroyed as well! most of the time i just want to avoid any other living soul besides my kids. just make sure you keep venting the anger. don't keep it inside. type here, or journal. i learned a LONG time ago you can't count on people, especially when you're going through something like this. it might not be a healthy way to look at the world, but it's how it goes for me. time after time i thought i'd have someone to rely on only to find out i really didn't. it didn't matter if they were friends, family, same sex or opposite. when push came to shove they weren't there. in the past couple of months i have found like 2 people i know who will help me, anytime, any place, any situation. but, mainly because they have lived part of this life too. those how haven't just don't get it. they may try, but they don't. i have a vision of marvin the martian right now, with his ray gun, threatening to blow up the planet........
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