NeoGen85 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I'm not here to say that white people are the devil and black people need to get their $%^ straight. But I was wondering if there's anyone on LS that feel the same way. Well. I am young black man. On pen and paper I stereotypically don't meet the requirements sometimes that permit me to be just that(so I've heard). And I find that this has affected me to a extent when it comes to bonding with women. I love the way my parents raised me, and wouldn't trade it for anything else. They taught me to be a better man, to love, and have success. But they also reminded me where I come from(or the family history). So I have a strong sense of who I am. I live in Charleston, SC[and besides my experience in D.C.] this is a city with a notable black population. I love my black women but I tend to run into this situation every time. I'm not black enough. Or one that's even more surprising; a young black woman with a similar personality[and even upbringing] but know matter what she tells herself(and others) she doesn't date black men. Expand your options. Like Chris Rock said, black men like variety. But some of you know how that joke goes. Yes, I don't discriminate. I know that in a interracial relationship it takes much more effort. Especially when it comes to getting to know and respect each other. But that's where my problem comes in. I might encounter women outside my race(more commonly white women) who find certain traits in me that they are looking for. It's good that these women can see pass skin color. I do run into more young ladies(even in 2010) who are naive about the situation. No matter how "white" I act, I'm still black.
ItsNeverForever Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Neo, May I ask how old you are? I might just have something helpful to say if I know your age.
Author NeoGen85 Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 Neo, May I ask how old you are? I might just have something helpful to say if I know your age. I'm actually 25.
musemaj11 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I dont understand the question. So are you saying that you are feeling rejected by both white and black women?
phillyfan Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I'm not here to say that white people are the devil and black people need to get their $%^ straight. But I was wondering if there's anyone on LS that feel the same way. Well. I am young black man. On pen and paper I stereotypically don't meet the requirements sometimes that permit me to be just that(so I've heard). And I find that this has affected me to a extent when it comes to bonding with women. I love the way my parents raised me, and wouldn't trade it for anything else. They taught me to be a better man, to love, and have success. But they also reminded me where I come from(or the family history). So I have a strong sense of who I am. I live in Charleston, SC[and besides my experience in D.C.] this is a city with a notable black population. I love my black women but I tend to run into this situation every time. I'm not black enough. Or one that's even more surprising; a young black woman with a similar personality[and even upbringing] but know matter what she tells herself(and others) she doesn't date black men. Expand your options. Like Chris Rock said, black men like variety. But some of you know how that joke goes. Yes, I don't discriminate. I know that in a interracial relationship it takes much more effort. Especially when it comes to getting to know and respect each other. But that's where my problem comes in. I might encounter women outside my race(more commonly white women) who find certain traits in me that they are looking for. It's good that these women can see pass skin color. I do run into more young ladies(even in 2010) who are naive about the situation. No matter how "white" I act, I'm still black. Dude u sound like a straight up guy dont change for noone.
Author NeoGen85 Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 I don’t get to complain about anything according to Chris Rock because I’m white. You’d be better off not questioning your sanity. You might be exactly right.
Hopeful30 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 No matter how "white" I act, I'm still black. Lol behaviour doesn't define physical traits, but the opposite shouldn't be true either Unfortunately not everyone thinks that way
creighton0123 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 You're an intelligent, insightful, polite, and honest man whoso happens to be of color. Don't change that for anyone. Don't give anyone who would want you to be different the time of day. Outside of racial differences, there are many people who are not necessarily attracted to people of different races or only attracted to people of a certain race for whatever reason. Most of the time, this is innocently innate, as people don't necessarily choose who they find attractive or who they are romantically attracted to. You're 25, you're young. You have plenty of time for dating and romance. Don't EVER settle for anyone. You'll eventually meet someone and things will just feel right for both of you.
daphne Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Definitely leave your options open. I have a good friend who has had the same conundrum as you. He has opted for expanding his options and is now with a Vietnamese woman. He was engaged to a latina. He experiences a bit of resentment from black women, I think because they often don't given him the time of day because he's "too white." Not sure what that's supposed to mean but he has a phd, extremely articulate & intelligent, good guy but yeah he does sound white on the phone. He came from a good family that taught him to value education, building a future, and good values. I don't think he chose to date outside of his race because he doesn't appreciate black women. I think the expectations for him were different and I get hte impression that sometimes the women were a little aggressive towards him. Regardless, you're not alone and you gotta do you. Just find someone who's open to you regardless of race and has similar core values. Sounds like you probably have more options than the rest of us.
ItsNeverForever Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Neo, Not to repeat others (how boring of me) but it's true, you're 25...it seems like everyone is in such a hurry. I know I was at 25! But reflecting back, I had no reason not to take my time - I thought I was, but I wasn't ready for anything! I know it's frustrating, but you have plenty of time - the right girl WILL come along who doesn't see your "whiteness" as an issue. WE EXIST, I promise. (the love of my life isn't "black" enough, either, according to some. But he's absolutely PERFECT to me!) I'm as white as they come, in case you're wondering. Anyway, the reason I asked your age is this...have you ever thought of dating a woman a little bit older? Not too old, but maybe 5 years or so? Women in their 30's (regardless of race) have a better idea of what it is they REALLY want in a man and might better appreciate all of your great qualities. Just an idea...
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 I might encounter women outside my race(more commonly white women) who find certain traits in me that they are looking for. It's good that these women can see pass skin color. I do run into more young ladies(even in 2010) who are naive about the situation. No matter how "white" I act, I'm still black. I don't really get what your issue is. You want to date black women but you get rejected because they don't think you are "black enough"? Are they talking culture, actions, or skin tone? Do they want you to go tanning? Act more like a stereotype? ?? In my experience there are many black women who are extremely sensitive about race when it comes to dating. I just think you might be able to work around that if you wanted to.
NoLongerSad Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Could be it's not you; it's Charleston. Could be, it's time to relocate.
NoLongerSad Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Also, if you are dating a lot of white women, they probably expect you to have an enormous black penis, per the commonly-accepted stereotype of the generously-hung young black stud. If you don't measure up in that respect, they may get a little disappointed.
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