red shoes Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I have a good platonic friendship with a male friend. I'm not sure if he's just too comfortable with me but lately I've noticed him putting his arm around my shoulder as we walk and touching my arm (non-sexual way) or my back as we talk. Are those actions conscious or subconscious? Do you LSers touch with intention or do people sometimes touch without fully realizing it? He's quite an outgoing person but he doesn't have many female friends so I can't tell whether he does that with them too.
Feelin Frisky Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Guys generally don't touch platonically. Hell, girls even dance with each other. Men don't. So, if this guy is progressively touching you, I'd say take it that he's hoping or wishing for more from you. Maybe it's time for that "talk".
phineas Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Yeah, i'm strictly hands off when it comes to women who call me "friend" However, if she's asking me to do something & flirty with me & breaks the touch barrier I take it to mean she is interested in more & will break the touch barrier also. But then things need to progress or I ditch her because i'm not a cuddle bitch.
Cee Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I have a friend who gets touchy when he's had a lot to drink. I don't read into it, but it makes me uncomfortable. But I suspect he has ideas when he does that as he's complained about his lack of a love life. So I run for the door at the end of the night. None of my other male friends have ever done that with me.
Author red shoes Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Guys generally don't touch platonically. Hell, girls even dance with each other. Men don't. So, if this guy is progressively touching you, I'd say take it that he's hoping or wishing for more from you. Maybe it's time for that "talk". It sometimes feel more like a "protective" touch, like holding my shoulder as we walk and talk. Or it's something he's "comfortable" with. I don't think the "talk" is necessary here or at this stage since we're friends, not already dating.
Author red shoes Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Yeah, i'm strictly hands off when it comes to women who call me "friend" However, if she's asking me to do something & flirty with me & breaks the touch barrier I take it to mean she is interested in more & will break the touch barrier also. But then things need to progress or I ditch her because i'm not a cuddle bitch. Aren't there some men that are generally just flirty? Don't they break the touch barrier easily?
Author red shoes Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 I have a friend who gets touchy when he's had a lot to drink. I don't read into it, but it makes me uncomfortable. But I suspect he has ideas when he does that as he's complained about his lack of a love life. So I run for the door at the end of the night. None of my other male friends have ever done that with me. My friend hasn't had a lot to drink but I suspect he may miss having an SO in his life. That could be a reason. I'm undecided between him increasingly wanting more and just naturally flirty.
phineas Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Aren't there some men that are generally just flirty? Don't they break the touch barrier easily? Yes, men do break it easily. If i'm On a date, meeting a woman in a bar, on an undefined date (hang-out) i'll break that barrier to see if she likes me. but if a woman tells me she just wants to be friends then I respect that boundary. Plenty of other women out there to mack on.
Author red shoes Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Yes, men do break it easily. If i'm On a date, meeting a woman in a bar, on an undefined date (hang-out) i'll break that barrier to see if she likes me. but if a woman tells me she just wants to be friends then I respect that boundary. Plenty of other women out there to mack on. So that's to say you'll break the barrier with a woman you LIKE? That you won't break the touch barrier with someone you aren't interested in, even if it was an undefined date?
phineas Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 So that's to say you'll break the barrier with a woman you LIKE? Correct. That you won't break the touch barrier with someone you aren't interested in, even if it was an undefined date? Correct. Why put my arm around a woman I'm not interested in? Or put my arm around a woman who isn't interested in me?
xpaperxcutx Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 With my girl friends, we're typically very touchy. With a guy friend I'm equally so as well. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. We're just that comfortable with each other. Are you not comfortable with your friend?
Author red shoes Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 With my girl friends, we're typically very touchy. With a guy friend I'm equally so as well. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. We're just that comfortable with each other. Are you not comfortable with your friend? I'm comfortable. There's just something that's changed, from no touching to touching. I just can't put my finger on it.
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