bad place to be Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Hi all. I have been lurking around in these forums for sometime, and have only now felt like I need to post. The scenario is this...I had been in a long distance relationship for approx 18 months, seeing each other once or maybe twice a month. Everything was going smoothly until and old flame came back into the picture. The old flame and I have known each other for approximately 3 years now, and were never really serious, but have always been hot for each other. Anyways, the old flame begins working in the same organisation as myself and within a couple of weeks we start spending time together... In the meantime, plans have been made for the LDR to be moving in with myself approximately a month ago...Time passes and the old flame and I decided to end the fling the week before my LDR returns home. All is well and the old flame and I stay in contact, sending each other txt's about how much we miss each other and so and so... A month goes by and I'm living a pretty normal life with the LDR, still remaining in contact with the old flame the whole time. The old flame and I agree that even tho it is very hard not to see each other, it has to be whilst I'm in a relation. During this time, I don't realise it, but I am growing increasingly attached to the old flame. A day ago, without any warning I recieved a txt from the old flame saying that she has started seeing someone and that she wished for me to keep contact with her. Ok, no probs with that, but as a result I now feel completely heartbroken and withdrawn from my current relationship. It is getting to the point of where I can't hold a conversation and she is starting to wonder what is wrong... Please, I know I need to move past it but could anyone help with how I could achieve it...
imagine Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I take it that you are not going to tell your LDR. Would you marry you?
hoping2heal Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Hi all. I have been lurking around in these forums for sometime, and have only now felt like I need to post. The scenario is this...I had been in a long distance relationship for approx 18 months, seeing each other once or maybe twice a month. Everything was going smoothly until and old flame came back into the picture. The old flame and I have known each other for approximately 3 years now, and were never really serious, but have always been hot for each other. Anyways, the old flame begins working in the same organisation as myself and within a couple of weeks we start spending time together... In the meantime, plans have been made for the LDR to be moving in with myself approximately a month ago...Time passes and the old flame and I decided to end the fling the week before my LDR returns home. All is well and the old flame and I stay in contact, sending each other txt's about how much we miss each other and so and so... A month goes by and I'm living a pretty normal life with the LDR, still remaining in contact with the old flame the whole time. The old flame and I agree that even tho it is very hard not to see each other, it has to be whilst I'm in a relation. During this time, I don't realise it, but I am growing increasingly attached to the old flame. A day ago, without any warning I recieved a txt from the old flame saying that she has started seeing someone and that she wished for me to keep contact with her. Ok, no probs with that, but as a result I now feel completely heartbroken and withdrawn from my current relationship. It is getting to the point of where I can't hold a conversation and she is starting to wonder what is wrong... Please, I know I need to move past it but could anyone help with how I could achieve it... Ah, really?? How could you let that other woman move in with you considering what is going on? If it is LDR that must mean she is re-locating, how do you even do something so cruel to another person? Does that not bother your conscience?
Spark1111 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Wow....you really hung your LDR out to dry. Your old flame has moved on really, really, quickly, don'tchathink? I mean was it love or lust? You miss this? Over a woman who just relocated to be with you? I feel sorry for your LDR. She is probably wondering what is wrong. After all that anticipation to be together and the committment to move to be near you, you sit there pining away for your old flame. Want to get past old flame, who really bud, does not seem all that invested in you personally, though she may LOVE the attention of stringing yet another guy along? NO CONTACT (NC). No texts, no emails, nothing! Bye bye, have a nice life, I am committing to my LDR who just proved through her actions, she may really, really care about me. What the blunt truth from a female perspective? Your old flame is less interested in you, than in competing and besting your LDR. And she will WANT continued communication to ensure you are still pining away for her so she can convince herself she is the better woman. Want to feed her ego and hurt your LDR? Keep doing what you're doing. Maybe your LDR will move out and your old flame will waltz onto the next guy to feed her ego, and you can be sitting there scratching your head on how it all went to s**T!
kuma Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 The best thing you can do is break up with your LDR. You obviously don't love her. She deserves a better man. Don't worry, your old flame will come back.
creighton0123 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 You should do a damage purge. If you're going to break up with your partner, you might as well do so with as much honesty and integrity as you can. If you still have feelings for your ex girlfriend, you might as well be clear in exactly how you feel. A good dose of honesty goes a long way when it comes to starting things over.
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