mystical.one Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I wasn't sure where to put this, so I opted to drop it here. I perused through google using various key words, yet nothing seemed to touch on what I'm pondering over the most. However, each key word seem to pull up this community... so here I go. A brief history first: I had a rough, rough childhood. I never knew "love" from my mother (father unknown) and the only healthy relationship I was in observation of was my grandfather. My mother has been married 5 times, raging drunk, bi polar, etc. I am 31, married and have one 14 year old son. I realized about August 2009 that how I was doing things in life wasn't working out well, and that I needed to change not others. I decided to go into counseling. I've been in counseling to heal from my childhood trauma, confusion in my life, and letting go of anger or anxiety. Each day I see growth within me, each day I get a little bit more satisfied with where my life is headed, I seemed to grow further and further apart from my husband. Brief history: I have known my husband for about 18 years, but we've only been married for 5. I believe now, after deep soul searching, I married him for safety, comfort and contentment. He is what I needed at that juncture in my life. Now, however, he just doesn't do it for me. I mean, so severely to the point that I get kind of ill with the thought of sex, kissing, etc. I want to know if anyone else has gone through individual counseling, for an extended length of time, and has found that as they grow and change... their relationship starts to change as well??
michaelk Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Whether it's through counseling or not, we all change and it can definitely affect your existing relationships. My W and I have been together for over 20 years now. Neither of us is the same person we were in the beginning. She changed as a result of motherhood, I changed as a result of putting some of my self-esteem issues behind me. We came very close to divorce at one point. Had we not had children, we probably wouldn't be together anymore. Our relationship is in some ways better now (sex and communication) and in some ways worse (loss of respect and affection). I don't know what the right course of action is in your case, but I can absolutely confirm that your relationship can and will change as you do.
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