Cold wife

[billy42515]

I discovered that my wife of 11 years has been having online and maybe personal affairs with other men. I looked at the emails on her I-Phone and was shocked there were as many as 10 different men maybe more.

When I confronted her she said they were old contacts (lie).

Then I reread and she said in an email "the **** had hit the fan but got it calmed down because she was a good liar." There had not been any more contact that I am aware of until last week and I asked about it again and told her, not only is it wrong when your married and quit talking smack about me.

I have worked very hard on this marriage and with 2 boys I would like to keep the family in tact. She is a cold woman but cannot divorce due to she will be poor. I'm lost

[Distant78]

I discovered that my wife of 11 years has been having online and maybe personal affairs with other men. I looked at the emails on her I-Phone and was shocked there were as many as 10 different men maybe more.

When I confronted her she said they were old contacts (lie).

Then I reread and she said in an email "the **** had hit the fan but got it calmed down because she was a good liar." There had not been any more contact that I am aware of until last week and I asked about it again and told her, not only is it wrong when your married and quit talking smack about me.

I have worked very hard on this marriage and with 2 boys I would like to keep the family in tact. She is a cold woman but cannot divorce due to she will be poor. I'm lost

 

Please leave her. Let her be poor. Check yourself for STDs, get paternity testing for those kids and file for divorce. She's a serial cheater, a whore, and a compulsive liar, and keeps deceiving you when she thinks everything's "calmed down." Don't be a fool by staying in this toxic environment. That's all I gotta say. Good luck man.

[NoLongerSad]

Do what is best for your kids, not for her.

[Bryanp]

Are you going to wait until you contact an STD?...You must get checked for this and like a previous poster mentioned a paternity test. If the roles were reversed I doubt that she would be so accepting as you. You know she is a liar and shows total disrespect for you and your marriage. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

[Dexter Morgan]

She is a cold woman but cannot divorce due to she will be poor. I'm lost

 

you're joking right? thats HER #%&*!# problem.

 

so because she is a wretch and won't have money, you have to put up with being a cuckold the rest of your life?

 

dude, you shouldn't be feeling sorry for her one iota.

[reservoirdog1]

you're joking right? thats HER #%&*!# problem.

 

so because she is a wretch and won't have money, you have to put up with being a cuckold the rest of your life?

 

dude, you shouldn't be feeling sorry for her one iota.

This.

 

How long have you two been married? How old are the kids? I ask because, true enough, if you divorce her, you may be on the hook for alimony. But if the kids are young, she hasn't been out of the workforce for a long time, and she still has marketable skills, she should be able to ultimately support herself.

 

None of which is a valid reason for staying in a marriage with somebody who's obviously already checked out of it. You deserve happiness too.

[billy42515]

married 11 mostly difficult years boys are 11 and 9. I just wanted a marriage that was loving and respectful. She hates my parents which by the way have been very giving.

She has no parents and was estranged from her late father for 35 years. The divorce rate in their family is over 75%. Did I mention that she has a masters, a bachelors, and an associates degree all in the psychology and other social areas. I finally have come to the conclusion that she is a man hater and is very selfish.

[billy42515]

The boys are definitely mine. I don't believe she has been having sex with other men although how would I know. My counselor said the same thing she will never stop.

[Distant78]

The boys are definitely mine. I don't believe she has been having sex with other men although how would I know. My counselor said the same thing she will never stop.

 

Take a look at her coochie-coo and that will tell you otherwise. No seriously, c'mon man, you said yourself she was lying about the men in her phone and the emails. Dude you have to let her go. I'd advise you to listen to that counselor.

[Linda9999]

Get rid of her. Let her be poor. That's the least she deserves for what she's been doing. And GET TESTED for STD's!!!

[Chi townD]

She has a master's degree...She'll be fine. Lonely used up shell of a woman...but she'll be fine. Now, you have to take care of you and your kids!

[Woggle]

Let her be poor. That is her problem. She obviously does not care about you so why care about her?

[Dexter Morgan]

married 11 mostly difficult years boys are 11 and 9. I just wanted a marriage that was loving and respectful. She hates my parents which by the way have been very giving.

She has no parents and was estranged from her late father for 35 years. The divorce rate in their family is over 75%. Did I mention that she has a masters, a bachelors, and an associates degree all in the psychology and other social areas. I finally have come to the conclusion that she is a man hater and is very selfish.

 

she has a masters degree and she will be poor? something aint adding up here. only way she'd have no money is if she is lazy.

 

the very fact that she hates your parents who have been kind to her is all too telling.

 

Get rid of her. She can get off her ass and get a job.

[wicar1]

Just dump her... or you will regret

[billy42515]

I need to make another comment about this.

She has a career and makes a good wage but, between a mortgage, car, student loans of which we have paid over $50,000 on and the boys on which I'm reasonably sure will live with her she feels that she cannot make it. So I guess that leaves only one other option which is in her words " I am living for myself and taking care of myself".

She has become easily irritated by any thing that may interrupt her day or space.

She tells me she does everything around the house!

Except for laundry, some meals and take the kids to school and pick them up she does nothing else. She works 24 hours a week I work 50+. yet I need to do more.

She does nothing for our relationship other than try to distance herself from me.

In her words "I guess it's time to pull my big girl panties up and file".

If this is marriage you can have it ...

[Bryanp]

Stop being a total doormat and file first. If the roles were reversed do you think she would be so accepting of this type of humiliation and disrespect from you? I tell you my friend nobody and I mean nobody respects a doormat.

[Darth Vader]

I need to make another comment about this.

She has a career and makes a good wage but, between a mortgage, car, student loans of which we have paid over $50,000 on and the boys on which I'm reasonably sure will live with her she feels that she cannot make it. So I guess that leaves only one other option which is in her words " I am living for myself and taking care of myself".

She has become easily irritated by any thing that may interrupt her day or space.

She tells me she does everything around the house!

Except for laundry, some meals and take the kids to school and pick them up she does nothing else. She works 24 hours a week I work 50+. yet I need to do more.

She does nothing for our relationship other than try to distance herself from me.

In her words "I guess it's time to pull my big girl panties up and file".

If this is marriage you can have it ...

 

you've done everything you can, so far......

 

 

It sounds like your wife, if that's what you want to call her is just plain nasty! Your parents are trying to be open and loving to her and she hates them. Drop her!

[cracer]

I need to make another comment about this.

She has a career and makes a good wage but, between a mortgage, car, student loans of which we have paid over $50,000 on and the boys on which I'm reasonably sure will live with her she feels that she cannot make it. So I guess that leaves only one other option which is in her words " I am living for myself and taking care of myself".

She has become easily irritated by any thing that may interrupt her day or space.

She tells me she does everything around the house!

Except for laundry, some meals and take the kids to school and pick them up she does nothing else. She works 24 hours a week I work 50+. yet I need to do more.

She does nothing for our relationship other than try to distance herself from me.

In her words "I guess it's time to pull my big girl panties up and file".

If this is marriage you can have it ...

 

 

 

 

"If this is marriage you can have it ... "

Couldn't agree more.

 

"She tells me she does everything around the house!"

That's what they all say.

 

"Except for laundry, some meals and take the kids to school and pick them up she does nothing else. She works 24 hours a week I work 50+. yet I need to do more."

 

The problem with a lot of marriages is that everybody wants to burden the other person with the responsibility of making them happy.

Nobody wants to reciprocate. Your wife wants you to do the majority of the work both in and out of the home. She does the laundry and cooks on occasion or when she feels like it. So what! That's not enough. She needs to suck it up and do her job as a mother and as your spouse. You don't work 50+ hours when you feel like it do you? No, you do your job as a provider and a husband everyday. Problems aside, she does not appreciate you.

 

Women like men are free to do whatever they want. If they want a career they should go out and get it but at the same time they still have responsibilities as a wife and a mother. If a women's career is more important to her then she should think twice about getting married and making babies. Children need a mother and a father not a daycare center or a nanny.

 

 

 

She should take care of the kids > You should bring home all or most of the income.

She she cook and clean for you > you should be chivalrous and romantic.

She should want sex and initiate it frequently as should you. Contrary to popular belief women are way more sexual than men. Many women have not yet realized their full sexual potential because they don't want to be seen as sluts, society shames them for being sexual, they use sex as a bargaining chip in relationships (whoring), and they try to take as many resources as possible from a man without giving him sex. The majority of women that use sex like this do not like sex. Sex should not be a chore for anyone it is a need that both partners are required to satisfy. If you are a man and your wife or girlfriend tries to use sex as a bargaining chip, gives you an ultimatum, or uses it to reward you in any way do not tolerate it. This goes the same for women.

 

She should treat you like a king and you should treat her like a queen.

 

If she doesn't want to cook or clean for you ALL the time not just sometimes > you're not going to be chivalrous and romantic period!

 

It's an even trade. And to all those women out there who would call this slavery it really isn't. It's called taking care of your man. Women like chivalry and romance. It makes them feel special and appreciated. Men like to have their laundry done and to have meals cooked for them. It makes them feel special and appreciated. It's a simple old formula and it's amazing that the majority of the most successful marriages in this day and age in which both spouses are happy are the ones that follow this formula. Men need to let women be women and women need to let men be men.

Women are the nurturers and men are the providers. Says who? Nature that's who. It works and works very well. So what happened? Feminism. I don't have a problem with it and I think it's great that women have the same rights as men.

 

 

The image in society that we have of men as dogs and women as saints and victims is the biggest scam women have going for themselves. You see this on television all day long which is why I don't watch television anymore other than the news. Any man that buys into that nonsense is an idiot. This is the reason why so many men take their girlfriends/wifes fidelity for granted and women know this and use it to their advantage. Any man who is too trusting and too nice women view them as fools and prey on them. That includes men with money. If you ask women why they do this the majority of them say "Well men do it too!" > So what! Who cares what other people do. You mean you let the actions of other people dictate your morality and logical way of thinking. . That's really pathetic. I am not saying all women are like this but many are. No, I'm no a misogynist. I love women. The only reason I'm commenting on women is because I date women and not men. I know there are guys out their who do their fair share of philandering and take advantage of women and I don't condone their behavior.

 

As far as your situation goes I would cut your loses. Do what's best for you and your children. Me personally, I would get a divorce.

 

"the **** had hit the fan but got it calmed down because she was a good liar." > Most of them are and are better at hiding it then men for the very reason I listed in the previous paragraph.

 

90% Women ask for marriage.

90% Women ask for children.

80% Women ask for divorce.

See how that works.

Edited December 15, 2010 by cracer

[karnak]

"If this is marriage you can have it ... "

Couldn't agree more.

 

"She tells me she does everything around the house!"

That's what they all say.

 

"Except for laundry, some meals and take the kids to school and pick them up she does nothing else. She works 24 hours a week I work 50+. yet I need to do more."

 

The problem with a lot of marriages is that everybody wants to burden the other person with the responsibility of making them happy.

Nobody wants to reciprocate. Your wife wants you to do the majority of the work both in and out of the home. She does the laundry and cooks on occasion or when she feels like it. So what! That's not enough. She needs to suck it up and do her job as a mother and as your spouse. You don't work 50+ hours when you feel like it do you? No, you do your job as a provider and a husband everyday. Problems aside, she does not appreciate you.

 

Women like men are free to do whatever they want. If they want a career they should go out and get it but at the same time they still have responsibilities as a wife and a mother. If a women's career is more important to her then she should think twice about getting married and making babies. Children need a mother and a father not a daycare center or a nanny.

 

 

 

She should take care of the kids > You should bring home all or most of the income.

She she cook and clean for you > you should be chivalrous and romantic.

She should want sex and initiate it frequently as should you. Contrary to popular belief women are way more sexual than men. Many women have not yet realized their full sexual potential because they don't want to be seen as sluts, society shames them for being sexual, they use sex as a bargaining chip in relationships (whoring), and they try to take as many resources as possible from a man without giving him sex. The majority of women that use sex like this do not like sex. Sex should not be a chore for anyone it is a need that both partners are required to satisfy. If you are a man and your wife or girlfriend tries to use sex as a bargaining chip, gives you an ultimatum, or uses it to reward you in any way do not tolerate it. This goes the same for women.

 

She should treat you like a king and you should treat her like a queen.

 

If she doesn't want to cook or clean for you ALL the time not just sometimes > you're not going to be chivalrous and romantic period!

 

It's an even trade. And to all those women out there who would call this slavery it really isn't. It's called taking care of your man. Women like chivalry and romance. It makes them feel special and appreciated. Men like to have their laundry done and to have meals cooked for them. It makes them feel special and appreciated. It's a simple old formula and it's amazing that the majority of the most successful marriages in this day and age in which both spouses are happy are the ones that follow this formula. Men need to let women be women and women need to let men be men.

Women are the nurturers and men are the providers. Says who? Nature that's who. It works and works very well. So what happened? Feminism. I don't have a problem with it and I think it's great that women have the same rights as men.

 

 

The image in society that we have of men as dogs and women as saints and victims is the biggest scam women have going for themselves. You see this on television all day long which is why I don't watch television anymore other than the news. Any man that buys into that nonsense is an idiot. This is the reason why so many men take their girlfriends/wifes fidelity for granted and women know this and use it to their advantage. Any man who is too trusting and too nice women view them as fools and prey on them. That includes men with money. If you ask women why they do this the majority of them say "Well men do it too!" > So what! Who cares what other people do. You mean you let the actions of other people dictate your morality and logical way of thinking. . That's really pathetic. I am not saying all women are like this but many are. No, I'm no a misogynist. I love women. The only reason I'm commenting on women is because I date women and not men. I know there are guys out their who do their fair share of philandering and take advantage of women and I don't condone their behavior.

 

As far as your situation goes I would cut your loses. Do what's best for you and your children. Me personally, I would get a divorce.

 

"the **** had hit the fan but got it calmed down because she was a good liar." > Most of them are and are better at hiding it then men for the very reason I listed in the previous paragraph.

 

90% Women ask for marriage.

90% Women ask for children.

80% Women ask for divorce.

See how that works.

 

I don't agree with everything your wrote. But most is accurate.

[cracer]

I don't agree with everything your wrote. But most is accurate.

 

What is it exactly that you don't agree with?

[karnak]

What is it exactly that you don't agree with?

 

Bah, forget it. Let's just say that what you said is true. Selfish people will always take advantage of those who put their trust in them (regardless of gender). Feminism and stuff is just a tool used by selfish women with hidden agendas.

 

I congratulate you on writing that women are "more sexual" than men. Most men (and even most women) still have a hard time believing this. In fact, women are more demanding in sexual quality than us men are. They just pretend they are more "emotionally-oriented". Yeah, right... they like is as much as we do.

[cracer]

Bah, forget it. Let's just say that what you said is true. Selfish people will always take advantage of those who put their trust in them (regardless of gender). Feminism and stuff is just a tool used by selfish women with hidden agendas.

 

I congratulate you on writing that women are "more sexual" than men. Most men (and even most women) still have a hard time believing this. In fact, women are more demanding in sexual quality than us men are. They just pretend they are more "emotionally-oriented". Yeah, right... they like is as much as we do.

 

You' re right. Men like to spread their seed just as much as women like collecting it. You would be surprised at the percentage of women who engage in extramarital affairs that do not use birth control with their lovers. This aside I believe that sex would be much more enjoyable to women if they allowed themselves to be sexual for the purpose of being sexual. Not for the purpose of gaining material or emotional invest from men. Men are the ones that empower women to have this control by giving them material invest for sex. This is basic Darwinism. If men only realized the truth which is that women want sex too. If men stop paying for sex do you think women would go on strike and stop having sex? Of course not. Women like sex. Women want babies. Women want commitment and they use sex to get these things from men. Men need to stop paying for sex. Especially in this day in age were women have the same opportunities as men to have careers and achieve their dreams I really do not see the purpose of playing this primitive game do you?

[karnak]

You' re right. Men like to spread their seed just as much as women like collecting it. You would be surprised at the percentage of women who engage in extramarital affairs that do not use birth control with their lovers. This aside I believe that sex would be much more enjoyable to women if they allowed themselves to be sexual for the purpose of being sexual. Not for the purpose of gaining material or emotional invest from men. Men are the ones that empower women to have this control by giving them material invest for sex. This is basic Darwinism. If men only realized the truth which is that women want sex too. If men stop paying for sex do you think women would go on strike and stop having sex? Of course not. Women like sex. Women want babies. Women want commitment and they use sex to get these things from men. Men need to stop paying for sex. Especially in this day in age were women have the same opportunities as men to have careers and achieve their dreams I really do not see the purpose of playing this primitive game do you?

 

You're quite right about the first paragraph. Women in general seem to feel more excited when their sex partners ejaculate inside them. On of the reasons they hate condoms, I guess.

 

As for the rest, I think it can be more complicated: there will always be selfish women who will be with a men due to the money/material stuff/status the he can provide. And there will always be selfish men who will marry women in order to have a 24/7 house-maid/hooker/babysitter.