ny152 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 hello, There's a girl working at a store I've happened to go into a few times in the pass couple of months and I'd really like to get to know her better. The problem is, she's at work, and I'm just a customer there, and there is never really an opportunity to chat (plus she is busy working). Would it be creepy, or weird, or putting her on the spot if I just asked her to join me for coffee some time? I don't even know her name yet! I'm definitely not the type to be this bold, I tend chat someone up quite a bit before I'd ask them for coffee, but I'm pretty sure I could do it in this case... I'm just wondering what the going etiquette would be here? hopefully from a WOMAN'S point of view. Is it just an impossible situation? please! I'd really appreciate some sort of response! thanks!
Futuregirl Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 hmm... it might put her on the spot.. because she has to be nice to customers. I think it's really sweet that you're concerned about her comfort. I think it's a necessary evil.. and not really an evil. It's not a perfect situation but sometimes you've got to take a risk. A little bit of potential discomfort vs. a possibility that she will be totally flattered, and or be interested in you (and superglad the cute guy who comes in once in a while asked her out)
Seamless74 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 doubtful it will work........ best scenario is to have her put herself out there first... just start conversating with her if she starts asking questions about you then go ahead if not id pass.
daphne Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Not unless you're intently staring at her in a weird way. It's preferable if you have a chance to chat her up a little to gauge her interest level but if you feel you can handle rejection politely I say go for it. At the very least you'll probably put a smile on her face.
Futuregirl Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Oh yea... what about inviting her out to a type of event.. Like... my brother will talk to a girl at a store and say something like "what are you doing Saturday night, there is a music show going on at X place, almost every Saturday, you should check it out with some friends sometime" If she shows interest, maybe he could get her contact info to give her the details or arrange to see her there. It gives her an in if she wants one, and an out as well because he said "check it out sometime" She can say "yea sure..." and never go if she wants
somedude81 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Here's my suggestion. Go to the store often. Find out when it's slow and try to figure out her schedule. Hopefully after not too long you will run into her when she's working and the store isn't too busy. That is when you can chat with her. Of course she could have a boyfriend and you may just end up wasting your time. In that case just ask her out next time you see her, busy or not. The best way to do it is to buy a variety of condoms and ask her which one's she prefers Of course that only works if she's an employee at a store that sells them.
clack201 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Nope. I think if you are confident it will actually look better then asking her out many other ways. You will leave and all of her friends will be like who was that??
BobSacamento Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Pass her a note next time you are at the store. It should read: "Do you like me? Circle Yes or No "
Author ny152 Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 so... I think I'm going to go with the last suggestion, so should I use a sparkly ink pen to write it?
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Pass her a note next time you are at the store. It should read: "Do you like me? Circle Yes or No " a little too forward, but a good approach - one I've tried successfully. OP, if you go there often, get her name first, CASUALLY. don't ask her out; YES, it will be creepy. there was this bar near my place I frequented a few times a month, okay. I got the waitress's name and would use it the next few times I went in. by then we'd seen enough of each other to recognize each other. one day an irrate customer came in and was giving her ****. so I wrote her a note and asked another waitress to deliver it to her (this was while Mr. Irrate was still in the place). the note read: "if you agree with me that, that guy is a total d*ck, shoot a smile my way. P.S. NO LAUGHING! (he'll know we're conspiring against him). she laughed her ass off and smiled at me; then she came over. we talked and when I finally proceeded to exchange numbers, she said "I would, but I'm married (she was 21 and married, WTF?!?). lol. my point remains, she and I were comfortable. you two must establish some report first. the note passing is priceless, btw. IF, you're properly setup for it.
MorningCoffee Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 a little too forward, but a good approach - one I've tried successfully. OP, if you go there often, get her name first, CASUALLY. don't ask her out; YES, it will be creepy. there was this bar near my place I frequented a few times a month, okay. I got the waitress's name and would use it the next few times I went in. by then we'd seen enough of each other to recognize each other. one day an irrate customer came in and was giving her ****. so I wrote her a note and asked another waitress to deliver it to her (this was while Mr. Irrate was still in the place). the note read: "if you agree with me that, that guy is a total d*ck, shoot a smile my way. P.S. NO LAUGHING! (he'll know we're conspiring against him). she laughed her ass off and smiled at me; then she came over. we talked and when I finally proceeded to exchange numbers, she said "I would, but I'm married (she was 21 and married, WTF?!?). lol. my point remains, she and I were comfortable. you two must establish some report first. the note passing is priceless, btw. IF, you're properly setup for it. This. Is. A. Winner. Playful and respectful.
BobSacamento Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Kinda weak in my view. A real man wouldn't have written a note. A real man would have dealt with the irate butthole himself and made him apologize. Perhaps that is the reason she was "married".
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Kinda weak in my view. A real man wouldn't have written a note. A real man would have dealt with the irate butthole himself and made him apologize. Perhaps that is the reason she was "married". she had the diamond to back it up, mate. you have your methods & I have mine. I chose to help the lady laugh [with me] instead of being upset by a lame situation that would otherwise occur inevitably. everytime I go in there, Mrs. Married always says hi to me by name. she's young and likes the attention; but at the end of the day, I never mess with married women. weak? hardly. more like memorable.
hART Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Get to know her name, maybe come when she isn't busy. What kind of a place is it? I ask because each customer service job has specific dead hours. If she is an average looking girl or hotter, she probably gets hit on by creepy men at least once a week. Getting creative wins points with me, if someone handed me something meaningful I'd keep it, while phone numbers I would throw out (I was also taken at the time). With the exception of an artist who made a flower for me <3. Give it time, get to know her. Also, if she has a wedding ring, this means she is either married or doesn't want to be bothered.
hART Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 she had the diamond to back it up, mate. you have your methods & I have mine. I chose to help the lady laugh [with me] instead of being upset by a lame situation that would otherwise occur inevitably. everytime I go in there, Mrs. Married always says hi to me by name. she's young and likes the attention; but at the end of the day, I never mess with married women. weak? hardly. more like memorable. As a waitress I would find what you did entertaining.
Author ny152 Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 oh... I didn't know the note thing was actually a serious suggestion. yeah... I couldn't pull that off.
Star Gazer Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I'm not allowed to date colleagues, and it's unethical to date Defendants and defense counsel, so even if you asked me out, I'd have to say no.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 oh... I didn't know the note thing was actually a serious suggestion. yeah... I couldn't pull that off. yes, I meant that as a serious suggestion; dependent, of course, on the type of establishment she works in. obviously handing a note to the sales associate @Banana Republic would come off way creepy... even if Brad Pitt did it. a few posts back someone asked what type of place we're talking about. do tell. whether you do the note thing or not, it'll be helpful to know.
Star Gazer Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 whether you do the note thing or not, it'll be helpful to know. Absolutely. If passed a note in court, or in a board room, it would be taken quite differently than if you pass a note to her from across a Round Table or Kinko's counter. But notes are still pretty juvenile.
Feelin Frisky Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 OP, unless you really feel that she is projecting some interest in you, it probably ain't happening. When I used to work in a skyscaper in lower Manhattan, there were cashiers, sales chicks, waitresses et al in many places. Several would project some interest in me there. One was this real cutie who I just knew lost concentration on her job when I was on line to pay for my tongue sandwich:rolleyes:. No, she could tell it was tongue. One day I just asked her if she gets a break. She nodded yes and I came back to the eatery to walk with her. We sat down in a cofee shop and got aquainted. It was so easy and fluid. I asked her if she had anyone to take her to see the 4th of July fireworks the next day. She said no, so I asked her if she'd like like me to take her. We went to the fireworks. And then I took her. Unfortunately, I learned later that she had eyes for other tongue sandwich buyers and though she would put out for me, I could not trust her to be in a relationship with me. Good luck. Just sharin'.
angielove Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Nooooo, don't ask her out right away! I agree with the others, ask her what her name is in a casual way. Call her by her name. Tell her your name. Work in a casual chat when she is not busy. Do this over a few weeks so you become familiar to her. Then either come in when it's not busy or when she is just finishing and ask her out FACE-TO-FACE. Ask her to come with you to something casual like a gig at a bar. Then grab her number to confirm later on. If she says no or acts hesitant, then straight up say something like "It's cool if you're not interested, just thought I'd try my luck", grin and leave. Whenever you go back in, still chat to her and call her by her name. If she becomes interested later, she will make it obvious!!!
irc333 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Yeah, when I used to hang out at the mall, during the afternoon it was dead, and there'd be hot jewelry store workers (they always hire hot jewelry store workers), sitting at the counter, twiddling their thumbs, great time to chat them up. Of course,t he one time I did that, I pretended I was looking for something, and then chatted her up, then she said, "Did someone send you over hear as a joke?" I'm guessing she's thinking some store worker from across the way sent me over to hit on her, when in fact, I really WAS hitting on her. Here's my suggestion. Go to the store often. Find out when it's slow and try to figure out her schedule. Hopefully after not too long you will run into her when she's working and the store isn't too busy. That is when you can chat with her. Of course she could have a boyfriend and you may just end up wasting your time. In that case just ask her out next time you see her, busy or not. The best way to do it is to buy a variety of condoms and ask her which one's she prefers Of course that only works if she's an employee at a store that sells them.
irc333 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 THat makes sense in your field. What is a definition, technically, for Collegue? I looked it up, from what I gather, it doesn't necessarily mean a co-worker, but somehow you cross paths when it comes to your work. For instance, I used to work in a permit office, about once a week some really cute women would stop by and drop off more application for permits, they were but office adminstration, and that's it. And I'd sign for them and file them. I guess you could say they were couriers that just dropped crap off. In THAT case, I wouldn't have a problem with asking them out. Because they're just dropping crap off, and that's it. No conflict of interest. I actually saw one of them on a Yahoo dating site, lol....was a great opportunity to ask her out. lol Turns out, she didn't respond. But that was like a few years ago. I'm not allowed to date colleagues, and it's unethical to date Defendants and defense counsel, so even if you asked me out, I'd have to say no.
Author ny152 Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 huh... I thought women liked bold... interesting points of view... this is obviously going to be a bit more difficult then I expected.
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