reknown29 Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 My ex is 30. She claims she has never been single, hence the reason for dumping me. She has been sleeping around and has not been hiding that fact from me. She says in about 6 months she wants to be with someone angain and that she is leaving me open for an option. I initiated NC. It has been a couple weeks. I feel stronger about myself and dont think about her that often. This may sound crazy but do I keep in light contact with her to see what kind of person she becomes in the next six months? Am I being delusional? Be honest with me. I'm tough skinned.
alwayshoping Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 thats not a reason to leave someone IMHO. Keeping you as an option? Sleeping around? It does sound crazy you would want to see what she turns into. She is 30! 6 months wont change her that much/if at all. Yes she will experience new things. But people rarely change, only circumstances change. I honestly think your kidding yourself, and deep down you know she wont change, and even if she wants you back you will feel second best. Your a man don't forget and letting her get away with this behaviour will really make her lose respect for you. Stick by your principles and remind yourself your better than what she has to offer. Good luck (sorry if it was a-little harsh) x
Leandro Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I also believe thats not a reason to leave someone.
WTRanger Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Someone doesn't change in 6 months after a little free range dicking.
Author reknown29 Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 Thanks. Dont know what I would do without the support of this site. I have been highly abused by this relationship. Its rarely the guy who speaks of abuse but its becoming more and more clear how I was the passive one this time around... I really just dated C Zeta Jone's character in Intolerable Cruelty. I've been eaten alive. I need to snap out of it and move forward.
dng Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 After a while of living in a certain way, even if the intolerable never really becomes tolerable, your pain threshold is affected in a very devious way. You get sold on the charm and the charisma, and the promise of a life together. You get sold on how being with a person becomes a positive reflexion on yourself. On people on the outside would like to be you, on how perfect it seems when viewed from without. Little by little you let go of your expectations. Born charming and manipulative, its a second nature to them and I'm sure they are not even aware that they are going through life bending everyone's will. To a passing person, it doesnt matter, its just a moment. To a person who love them, the effects are more profound. You have to slowly regain your freedom from your own opinions of her which are still affected by what she put in your head. Little by little you will finally see her for what she really is.
kaygato Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 My ex is 30. She claims she has never been single, hence the reason for dumping me. She has been sleeping around and has not been hiding that fact from me. She says in about 6 months she wants to be with someone angain and that she is leaving me open for an option. I initiated NC. It has been a couple weeks. I feel stronger about myself and dont think about her that often. This may sound crazy but do I keep in light contact with her to see what kind of person she becomes in the next six months? Am I being delusional? Be honest with me. I'm tough skinned. Ok...who honestly at the age of 30 says they've never been single before? That's just stupid. I mean even if they've never gone through the crazy phase of sleeping around and clubbing or whatever....why feel the need to start now? Even if your ex was never in a relationship before or something I still don't get why she'd suddenly want to go through a "crazy single" phase. It seems like the time for that should have been about 10 years ago, and if she really wanted to just date casually she should have let you know that instead of leading you on like that. If I were you I would go completely no contact with her until you're over her and don't care what kind of person she is anymore.
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