tobeman Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 I am also not sure where to begin. But, I need to get this off my chest. I have spoken with friends about it and no one really can offer any useful advice. Most including my closest friend and brother just say, "What's the problem you passed on her long ago? It's not like you can't have another one tomorrow." Well I guess that's the problem, I don't want another one! It's a real problem actually, it's affecting my work, my overall attitude and worst of all... even if I wanted to sleep with someone else, I don't think I could....I just want her. She's amazing in so many ways, I get her, she gets me, we have tons in common, I never get tired of listening to her, I love everything about her, the sex is for lack of a better adjective un****ingbelievable. We would be on the phone for hours if she wasn't hiding me. I would do anything to wake up next to her every morning. Alright, so ten years ago I was at the end of my high school sweet heart relationship. HSSH cheated on me, so in turn I cheated on her, we were on, we were off, but then one day I met the one that still haunts me. The one that made me want out of that horrible relationship, the one that still makes me tingle just by hearing her voice. I am not quite sure what I was thinking way back 8-9 years ago when I let her go, but I did. She moved on, I moved on but I always wondered if our paths would cross again. Which they did...tons actually, sometimes randomly, other times we sought out one another. I think we both still have the same phone numbers from back then just to keep in touch. I have been through other long relationships, she has since married....twice actually. I personally have never married, no kids, I may be a bachelor for life. Payback for all the hearts I have broken? Probably... In the past couple of years, we started talking more and more again. I moved a bunch for work, she stayed in our home area. It has now become an everyday thing to hear her voice, we talk about anything and everything. I truly love this woman and regret so much letting her go years ago. But, the obvious problem... she is married. She claims she doesn't know why she re-married someone besides me, I am the one for her. She says her love for me is like none other as well. I believe her... I am constantly traveling and never really able to be in one place for a long period of time at this moment in life but I would change that to be with her. She is currently on a romantic vacation with her husband and it is tearing me apart. Work? What is that? All I am thinking about is how I want to be on that vacation, how I should be on that vacation, how probably I will never be on that vacation. So I am at a cross roads, I want her back and did even before she got married. But my travels complicated this and I wasn't around so I understand the choices that she made. Normally I would just move on like so many times in the past but I just can't let go! What to do? Fly to New England and beg? Let it go and be miserable? You would think it would pass but it's been 10 years! It subsided but never went away...
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