sweet_peach115 Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 Saturday afternoon, in my (stupid stupid stupid) hungover state of mind, I thought it would be a good idea to text him. He responded immediately, which really doesn't mean anything but made me happy. I asked him to coffee towards the end of the week and he said "yeah that sounds cool, I'm free most evenings this week." My elation has worn off and now I feel stupid. Is it a horrible idea to follow through?
Andymack Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 It depends. From your post it seems like he's open to a meeting with you which in my opinion seems a good sign and I would love to be in that situation. Are you looking to get back with him or do you just want to talk to him?
Author sweet_peach115 Posted December 13, 2010 Author Posted December 13, 2010 I would love to get back with him. We connected instantly and I have never felt like that with anyone before. Things were going awesomely when he ended it out of the blue. On the last night I saw him (before he ended it) he made a comment about how happy he was. Various people have told me he probably freaked himself out because he hasn't had a relationship since his last LT one ended. I'm not sure how he really feels. I don't want to lose him completely though so I'll have to be content to be his friend if thats what he wants.
Andymack Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 If you're happy with being his friend then I don't see the problem but if there are feelings still there then it makes it a lot harder. I am in NC myself as I don't think I could ever just be friends with my ex and its easier not knowing what she's upto and I am beginning to feel a lot stronger now so maybe down the road we could be friends but not yet. With your situation it sounds like he definitely wants to test the waters and see where how he feels after a meet up. The fact he texted back straight away, agreed to go on a date with you and said he is free nearly anytime are all good signs. Also means that he probably hasn't got another gf taking up all his time yet either If you do go just be prepared for him to say that you can only be friends. If you can take that and you really want him back then i'd say go for it as you'll never know otherwise.
Author sweet_peach115 Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 his band is playing a show tonight and they just sent out a Facebook event invite... I, although, was not invited... I feel hurt and like he doesn't intend to be friends at all even
cerridwen Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Sweet Peach, I can understand why you're hurting. It's okay that you broke NC. Just recommit. I've broken NC a couple of times to answer his texts. I too felt stupid afterward. Reconciliation doesn't look promising. He dumped you. You, not he, made contact. You, not he, suggested coffee. He only said "okay" then failed to even invite you to his gig. He hasn't given you any indication he's interested in trying so for your sake, don't follow through on contacting him and try again to stay no contact. I hope this doesn't sound harsh. I'm trying to just break it down to the simple truths for the sake of clarity. I'm sorry you're hurting. I can totally relate.
kaygato Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Sweet Peach, I can understand why you're hurting. It's okay that you broke NC. Just recommit. I've broken NC a couple of times to answer his texts. I too felt stupid afterward. Reconciliation doesn't look promising. He dumped you. You, not he, made contact. You, not he, suggested coffee. He only said "okay" then failed to even invite you to his gig. He hasn't given you any indication he's interested in trying so for your sake, don't follow through on contacting him and try again to stay no contact. I hope this doesn't sound harsh. I'm trying to just break it down to the simple truths for the sake of clarity. I'm sorry you're hurting. I can totally relate. This. I agree with cerridwen. I'm in the same boat as you...my ex dumped me. My ex texts me back usually pretty quick when I send him a polite text. Over thanksgiving break I asked him to get lunch and he agreed. He only wanted to be friends though...and make out afterward. Don't put yourself in the same situation I did. If he isn't the one asking you to meet up...he doesn't want to reconcile. And if you're like me and still really want to reconcile, you will most likely just be disappointed. If he wants to reconcile he'll be the one asking you out.
Author sweet_peach115 Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 Thanks guys, I agree with you both. I am going back NC and don't think the whole coffee hangout will happen anyways. I'm just going to try to push through it.
cerridwen Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Hang in there, Sweet Peach. There are tens of thousands of us in the same position. Forgive yourself for the slip up and do something kind for yourself.
Author sweet_peach115 Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 He just changed his FB status to: Thank you to everyone you came out last night! You know who you are. I don't know why but this makes me feel like throwing up. Is there any way so you aren't able to see someone's page on FB without actually deleting them? I think deletion sends a really harsh message I'm not ready to send yet.
cerridwen Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 I don't know. You may want to post this question on a new thread so more people see it.
feverish Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Yes there is a way to avoid news feed from certain friends. When you hover your mouse on that news feed you would see an X icon (remove) to the left of the post. Clicking on the X icon will give you option to hide that post or hide all posts of that person. Check it out and if it helps you continue your NC then just hide his posts. He wouldn't be deleted from your friends list but you would not see his posts unless you visit his page. Good luck.
Recommended Posts