swfc_77 Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 you all know my story (i think) if not, we was together 2 years, multiple problems and she treat me like sh..it it ended (again in sept) we have a cat together who lives here with me and my dad (she use to live here) but when the novelty wore off with the cat she stopped paying for him like after 3 weeks and my dad ended up buying food, vets ect. and now the cats is really his she keeps askin about him and a couple of weeks ago i told her to just leave me alone and forget the cat, she txt me back the next day saying she would never contact me again. i'v just had a missed call and a txt saying she wants to give the cat a card and a present for xmas but as i didn't answer (i was working) that it doesn't matter. why does she continue to pester me every few weeks about the cat, i dont want to see her and i certainly dont want her near the house, the cat belongs to my dad now as he has paid for it for over a year. the best thing is the cat hates my ex as she use to pick him up and mess about with him, i dont go near him as we dont see eye to eye anyway im just feeling bad as i dont want to come across as being a c0ck about the situation, but i dont want to break NC and i dont want her in my life anymore any shape or form. cats live for about 10-13 yrs, what does she expect. weekly visits for that lenght of time. any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Author swfc_77 Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 basically im askin for advice on how to deal with this, i dont want to come across as bitter and selfish but i really dont want to see the girl again. i dont know, i'll just carry on ignoring her.
alwayshoping Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 dude she's is just being selfish and not giving you time to heal. She clearly wants the attention off you and it's clearly not about the cat! Dont fall into the trap, you need to start sticking to NC so that you can heal and actually get some perspective in this situation. It seems every-time you make a-little progress she pulls you right back in with this crap! Time to say goodbye until you can look at her with indifference x
bl22 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 youve answered it yourself, just ignore it. Sounds like an excuse to see you not the cat, and needs a reason to come up. Dont bother, she'll hurt you.
PegNosePete Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Give the cat a card? Isn't that a little weird? I can understand giving a cat a treat at Christmas but a card? She does know they can't read, right? Ignore...
Author swfc_77 Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 i know pete a card thats what i thought, god knows what she's thinking. i told her before we got him not to get a pet as if we split up it would make things hard, a week later she came home with the cat, without asking anyone if it was ok, we all grew to love him but its not the point. she wanted a husky @ £1000, imagine the hassle if that would have happened. she'll get over it, and if not F**k her its not my problem, makes me laugh though as she thinks she can still walk into my life and pick the good bits up that she dropped when her fat ass left this place
Chi townD Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 She's using the cat as an excuse to keep tabs on you.
vandelay Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Give the cat a card? WTF? Cats can't read.
tobydog Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 We give our Retrievers cards, they CAN read! LOL! Cats, no they can't......Just an excuse IMO. I wish my stbx would acknowledge his dogs who he used to love........
alwayshoping Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 (edited) Hey Swfc, I thought I would hijack your thread to see how you are doing? Is it getting any easier? Whens the big move? I hope your looking forward to it! I just wanted to say hey basically and hope you a happy christmas and new year! For me its a lot easier and tbh I don't really think of her as much as I used to! Awesome! bl22 how are things going with you? Skydiveaddict and Strangeways I hope you guys are getting better too? I hope we are all nearly through to the other side! After 120+ days of NC now, I realise she was just glad to be rid of me and tbh that makes things so much easier. She's clearly happy with the guy she left me for and in a weird way it brings me some peace. Anyways I just like checking on how you guys are doing and really hope we are all getting better! I dont think Im ready to date yet but come the new year I will be a new person ready to travel and experience life! My sister is taking me to California (first ever trip to the states) and we are having a 3 week road-trip (if I pass my exams). I cant wait! Anyways I think it took me over 100 days NC to realise just how little she appreciated me, I still love her, but really dont care about her anymore and am so much more interested in what my friends and family are doing! Key point is NC does allow healing, its slow but does the trick whether you want it too or not. It just takes time and everyone is different. Happy Christmas and New Year in advance everyone x Edited December 15, 2010 by alwayshoping
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 she might want to give the cat one of those cards that sing when you open them so the cat can dance . that's just an excuse to see you,she misses you dearly. tell her the cat passed away or somebody stole her.that way she won't bother you for now at least ,until she comes up with something else
strangeways Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 Hey Swfc, I thought I would hijack your thread to see how you are doing? Is it getting any easier? Whens the big move? I hope your looking forward to it! I just wanted to say hey basically and hope you a happy christmas and new year! For me its a lot easier and tbh I don't really think of her as much as I used to! Awesome! bl22 how are things going with you? Skydiveaddict and Strangeways I hope you guys are getting better too? I hope we are all nearly through to the other side! After 120+ days of NC now, I realise she was just glad to be rid of me and tbh that makes things so much easier. She's clearly happy with the guy she left me for and in a weird way it brings me some peace. Anyways I just like checking on how you guys are doing and really hope we are all getting better! I dont think Im ready to date yet but come the new year I will be a new person ready to travel and experience life! My sister is taking me to California (first ever trip to the states) and we are having a 3 week road-trip (if I pass my exams). I cant wait! Anyways I think it took me over 100 days NC to realise just how little she appreciated me, I still love her, but really dont care about her anymore and am so much more interested in what my friends and family are doing! Key point is NC does allow healing, its slow but does the trick whether you want it too or not. It just takes time and everyone is different. Happy Christmas and New Year in advance everyone x Hi always. I'm 80 odd days of NC (about 90 days since we split) now. Been easy as she hasn't once tried to get in touch. Shows how much she cared! No idea where she is, what she's doing, how she's feeling or who she's with and to be honest I don't really care. Been feeling much better though recently as it's coming up to 3 months complete radio silence I was getting a bit down about her NEVER having contacted me but hey, s**t happens, it's probably for the best and I get to see how much she really cared. NC gets my thumbs up to. Healing, perspective, clarity, dignity et al. It's all there in two letters. Thank God I found LS so quickly after the split. Looking forward to Christmas with the family. Having fun shopping for toys for my kids. That road trip sounds great. I haven't had a holiday for so long I think I'll have to organise something in the new year.
alwayshoping Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 wow 80 days NC! Thats awesome! It really does start getting easier. I loved the et al comment! Im going to start using it! Do you not find it weird they can just completely cut you out and not speak to you? I kinda realised after over 100 days NC I must have meant nothing to this girl as ive had radio silence too. My friend just broke up with his gf after she said she didn't like him anymore, but for a month she has text, called and emailed everyday to say she doesn't want to lose him from her life and wants to be best friends. He eventually agreed and she has promised to find him someone better than her! I guess his situation just made me reflect and conclude if she couldn't even text after 120 days then either her new man is amazing (which i doubt) or she never truly never cared about me because I have missed her every single day. Either way I guess it doesn't matter now! On to bigger and better things. Plus its probably a good thing as its helped me heal quicker! I quite jealous of you Strangeways! I wish I had kids to go out and get presents for! Im just going to drag my little sisters out and buy them things I think but wish I had my own! Some day perhaps! Im glad your doing well though! I hope you and your kids have an amazing Christmas and New Year x
strangeways Posted December 15, 2010 Posted December 15, 2010 wow 80 days NC! Thats awesome! It really does start getting easier. I loved the et al comment! Im going to start using it! Do you not find it weird they can just completely cut you out and not speak to you? I kinda realised after over 100 days NC I must have meant nothing to this girl as ive had radio silence too. My friend just broke up with his gf after she said she didn't like him anymore, but for a month she has text, called and emailed everyday to say she doesn't want to lose him from her life and wants to be best friends. He eventually agreed and she has promised to find him someone better than her! I guess his situation just made me reflect and conclude if she couldn't even text after 120 days then either her new man is amazing (which i doubt) or she never truly never cared about me because I have missed her every single day. Either way I guess it doesn't matter now! On to bigger and better things. Plus its probably a good thing as its helped me heal quicker! I quite jealous of you Strangeways! I wish I had kids to go out and get presents for! Im just going to drag my little sisters out and buy them things I think but wish I had my own! Some day perhaps! Im glad your doing well though! I hope you and your kids have an amazing Christmas and New Year x It still does rankle a little that there has been no attempt on her part to communicate. It seems to me that the majority here on LS has some kind of communication from the dumper even if it is just fishing. I used to long for those crumbs but like you say it's probably for the best. She said during the breakup that she couldn't bear the thought of never seeing me again . Whatever. Yes, my kids have been a real life saver in terms of my emotional well being. They bring perspective. When I look at them playing, laughing, sleeping I think "What the f**k have I got to feel miserable about". Toy shopping, you can't beat it. Dreading the credit card bill in the new year though:laugh:. You have a good christmas and new years too.
Author swfc_77 Posted December 15, 2010 Author Posted December 15, 2010 hey up mate, i am waiting to hear about the move and it will probably be jan as all sites close for xmas. regarding her, yeah im doing ok still bugs me a lot and i do have 4-5 moments a day where i think deeply about her, but she's always there in my mind and im just trying to live with it. i just wish she would stop contacting me, she said the other week that she was going to stop and she still keeps doing it. she cant really expect us to be friends after how disrespectful she was to me and my family, my old man said after i told him about card and gift, that he wouldn't tolerate her in the house, she had her chance and blew it. he's not the type to get angry but she has a way of rubbing people up the wrong way it seems. anyway the very thought of her here or even touching her makes me feel physically sick, she's filthy and not in the good way
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