he purposely toyed with me, hurt me over and over, & I feel like absolute crap :(

[shiftedblue]

We were broken up since July 31st but had met up a few times and hooked up, even talked about reconciling a bit. He wasn't being proactive so finally I told him either take me back or leave me be; he didn't want to leave me be, said "then I won't get to talk, kiss, touch you again..." blah blah.

 

So then I saw him, we slept together, and the next day I asked him if he wanted to be together again. He said no, he had just been afraid I'd forget him.

I have since blocked his number from calling or texting me but I feel awful; used, stupid, rejected. Why would he hurt me like this on purpose?

[carhill]

Cheer's effect. A warm body is far preferable to some lubricant and one's own hand.

 

When you 'break up' with someone, there's usually good reason for it. Sex is something we, like animals, are wired for to reproduce. Nothing more or less. He was using his animal brain. You can make different choices in the future. One would be working out the relationship issues *before* jumping into the sack with someone. Expect them to bullshyte you. That's what people do to get what they want.

 

In the end, he didn't lie. He told you what he wanted. He can get that from anyone. Not very special, eh? In his mind, he didn't 'hurt' you. It simply didn't matter to him how you felt. Your hurt was never on his radar. People like that live within themselves.

 

Glad you blocked him. He taught you some good lessons about living. We all learn every single day. Today will be better. Happy holidays

[shiftedblue]

In the end, he didn't lie. He told you what he wanted. He can get that from anyone. Not very special, eh? In his mind, he didn't 'hurt' you. It simply didn't matter to him how you felt. Your hurt was never on his radar. People like that live within themselves.

 

 

true & thank you. Sometimes I just can't believe it that someone who seemed to care so much could act so callous. He told me I was a beautiful part of his life he would never want to forget and didnt want me to forget it either, but then he ends it so sourly. deeply saddens me but what can i do..

[carhill]

deeply saddens me but what can i do..

 

Outwardly, 'That's unacceptable. Goodbye'

 

Inwardly, acknowledge and accept that his behaviors violated your boundaries, which is what made them 'unacceptable'. Accepting the reality of who he is helps with healing. The hurt is still there but one processes it differently. Acknowledge the hurt; accept the unhealthiness. Believe that your boundaries are healthy and you deserve a relationship which is healthy for you. See his final truth as a gift; a gift of clarity.