alexlakeman Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 I've been seeing this woman for a couple weeks, seen each other 3 times.. no sex.. so today we were flirting on text.. and with no bad intentions I texted her "so do the rugs match the drapes?" ... OMG, she got soooooooooo insulted... she was like "that is sooo disrespectful..." I couldn't believe it, she's 39, not a baby... I said screw it and just text her one of my "no chemistry" texts and said good bye, and deleted her number. I remember goofing around I've asked that q b4 when flirting after a few dates with women, and no one ever got insulted.. Women.. would you be insulted? I am wondering how many would vs not get insulted on here.. good night.
AverageJoe Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 I've been seeing this woman for a couple weeks, seen each other 3 times.. no sex.. so today we were flirting on text.. and with no bad intentions I texted her "so do the rugs match the drapes?" ... OMG, she got soooooooooo insulted... she was like "that is sooo disrespectful..." I couldn't believe it, she's 39, not a baby... I said screw it and just text her one of my "no chemistry" texts and said good bye, and deleted her number. I remember goofing around I've asked that q b4 when flirting after a few dates with women, and no one ever got insulted.. Women.. would you be insulted? I am wondering how many would vs not get insulted on here.. good night. You did exactly the right thing. No room for prudes.
Star Gazer Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 Whether she's 19, 39, or 59 is of no consequence. She's not a prude. That question lacked class.
Citizen Erased Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 It's probably something I'd laugh off at the time it was said but really, it's a pretty immature question...kind of cliched and sad.
elaina Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 I'm not 100% sure what that expression means, but I think I have an idea. When my exhusband and I were dating, he asked me a very personal question concerning hair color matching um... yeah. (Is that what the rugs/drapes mean?) I was surprised but not insulted nor did I feel disrespected in the least. I was just surprised because I hadn't thought about that before, since naturally of course it matches (in my case) lol. I was a virgin and a bit clueless, but I was so in love with him that it didn't matter what he asked. I just thought it was funny. Fast forward 10 years, and I was asked something along those lines by an elderly man who I was cooking for one day. I was horrified and insulted, but I only asked him if he would ask his granddaughter that question (I'm younger than his granddaughters, who I know.) He said no but since I wasn't related... he also complimented me on my legs when I was wearing shorts, and I never wore shorts when I was cooking for him again. I dressed as modestly as possible lol. After that, I didn't continue very long cooking for him because I felt so uncomfortable. So, I guess it depends who exactly is asking... a man who I was head over heels in love with and who I would walk on the moon for, or a man who I had no sexual desires for whatsoever. With the woman who felt disrespected by your question, maybe she didn't consider you to be on the level of intimacy to ask such a personal question... if it means what I think it means. I think you were rather harsh in not talking with her about it, but it's your life. It makes it very hard to find and keep a good relationship though if misunderstandings don't get talked about and worked through. I know from experience. I think it would have been better to have said that you didn't mean to be disrespectful... that you like her and am interested in all of her, or something like that, you know?
welikeincrowds Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 LOL. Oh man. One gaff and you throw it all away? If I operated that way I would have no contacts left on my phone. I guess you didn't think much of her. Either that, or you overreacted. You could have played that one off, easily. Also, it's really not the smoothest line in the world. The only best case scenario I can see is a good-natured laugh and a pass because they already like you and are willing to catch your fumbles.
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 I'm not a prude, but I would think it was tremendously lame and pathetic. I'd be fine with the immediate deletion of info; may have even beat you to it.
Stung Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 Meh. I wouldn't be offended, but I would think less of you. CE summed it up: cliche and sad.
Author alexlakeman Posted December 11, 2010 Author Posted December 11, 2010 The convo this a.m. (all via text, as we were both working).. for example, she says she had an epiphany about getting married, then we b.s.'ed along those lines for a while.. I didn't freak out just b/c we only went out three times, lol.. We've had some pretty heavy kissing, that is it, but I mean we're not kids.. and she had talked about today as well, boys shorts vs thongs, and victoria secrets... I mean just normal flrity / teasing texts.. so it was in line with the day's convo.. Nah, no over reaction.. I mean, really, I could care LESS... the way things were going I knew I was going to sleep with her..it's not like I was getting off by it, lol.. You are right, she wasn't the end of the world, she was the one that had that little "muffin top"... oh well, on to the next candidates.. I just wanted to have someone lined up for the holidays, new years, valentines, lol...but in all seriousness, it is what it is, turn the page..
Surrealist Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 I'm a guy and I wouldn't like a woman who said that to me. I was a goldy locks when I was younger though now you wouldn't think it but it has only changed in recent years so I use to be picked on for it. To have another adult come out with such a lame childish question would ***** me.
Pfiend101 Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 Lol. She sounds stuck up to me. My guess is she'll be blowing your phone up within the next few weeks. She's 39 and overweight. What other options does she have. lmao
EricaH329 Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 I'm a redhead, and I cannot count how many times I have been asked that. I find it insulting and rude. If you don't know personally, there's more than likely a reason.
ComeUndone Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 Yeah I'd be put off by that question. Why even ask? You'd see for yourself if you played your cards right.
ascendotum Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 I tend to agree with most of the women here that, that question is a kind of cliche and not exactly classy, still the remark falls into the realm of a flirty banter. After 3 dates & some pashing sessions, I would not consider this remark out of line. Its cliche & lame but still its no sin to mention this along with a smutty joke or some double entendres to build up the sexual frission. As someone else said if all went well you were likely to see it for yourself in short time, so why ask, but you could easily spin it back and say then why get indignant over it then. What was she going to do, insist on having sex only with the lights out. (as for deal breakers, that's one for me) While you were left in no doubt she was insulted, if I was in your shoes I like wise would be disappointed in her reaction and would extrapolate it to one of 'no chemisty'.
tinktronik Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 Whether she's 19, 39, or 59 is of no consequence. She's not a prude. That question lacked class. I agree it's a garish question. I would take offense as well.I don't want to be talked to like a street side hooker. Try some class sometime.
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 I'm probably one of the least prude women there are, and while I wouldn't be "insulted" by your question, I'd mentally write you off as trashy, immature, classless, tacky, etc.
LondonS Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 I think by sending the further text and finishing it, you totally reinforced her initial reaction and she must have been totally convinced that you were only in it for the "Festive season sex" or something.... I think ladies should thank guys like OP who just come out with their immaturity and orignal personality before its too late
sweetjasmine Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 I'm not a prude, but I would think it was tremendously lame and pathetic. I'd be fine with the immediate deletion of info; may have even beat you to it. Same. No tact or class. Sounds like something a 16 year old would ask because Yahoo Answers told him it was a good idea.
carhill Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 Here I thought it was going to be a good interior decorating thread but I see the OP was left outside. Hey, the grass needs mowing.
Taramere Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 I couldn't believe it, she's 39, not a baby... I said screw it and just text her one of my "no chemistry" texts and said good bye, and deleted her number. Never mind. Now that the festive season is here, there will surely be many more opportunities for you to prove your social ineptness.
Sarah1977 Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 I wouldn't be offended. But I would assume that you're not a very smart guy. Unfortunately, stupid is a deal breaker for me.
O'Malley Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 Puerile and completely unsexy. On a positive note, you're conducting invaluable field research for a "How to Lose Dates and Not Get Laid" guide for all the wimmin fearing tinfoilers on LS.
jerbear Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 I got an opposite reaction. I was once asked if I wanted to know if the drapes matched the carpeting. I said why ask when you can show. Needless to say that was the wrong answer.
anne1707 Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 Immature, juvenile, tacky, lacking respect, vulgar,.......
refurb Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 Haha!! I had something similar happen to me. We had gone out on 5 dates, messed around a little and she was always bringing up the topic of sex when we IMed. Our chats got quite suggestive. Fast forward a couple weeks after I returned from a trip. I texted her "What color underwear are you wearing?". And she got SUPER pissed. I NEVER heard from her again, despite my apologizes. I can understand if she thought it was inappropriate, but decided to NEVER talk to me again? That's a little much I think. RF
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