TheHack22 Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 Here's my situation. A few weeks ago this girl and I began dating, at first everything was great and was happy but the problem is she has fallen way to fast. She's one of those that it's love at first sight, she talks about being together forever, and that I'm the most wonderful guy, and all she ever wants to do is be with me. It wasn't even a week after we started dating when she began saying she was so madly in love with me. The problem is, she was like this with another guy I know of through some friends and he blew her off because of it. Before her and I met, I became really great friends with another girl I work with and her boyfriend. She's my bestfriend, and now that the girl I'm dating and I got together, she gets jealous (even though they too work together). Yesterday my girl and I had planned to go over to my bestfriends and her boyfriends house to hang out, we both had agreed and planned it early in the afternoon. And my girl and I had talked about it as well late in the evening.. so after we ate we split up to go home and change and get ready.. Just as I'm about to leave my girlfriend calls saying she forgot she had something else planned and she basically wanted me to blow off my bestfriend, whom we already had plans of going over to and I just tlaked to her not long before tellingg her we'd be on our way. She basically was putting me in a position where I felt I had to choose between her or my bestfriend (which again my bestfriend is also her friend because we all work together). It boils down to this, because we had plans to go to my bestfriends house I stuck with that. It was planned early in the day, I had just talked to my bestfriend telling her we'd be over, and then I was hit with that. So basically I choose to go over to my bestfriends house.. so my girlfriend gets all depressed sounding and ended up calling me 3 times in a period of 20 minutes... I finally went over there and she was saying stuff about how she couldn't believe I picked my bestfriend over her. I flat out told her that it was unfair of her to put me in a situation like that of having to chose, I told her that our plans were set early in the afternoon and she should of remembered she made other plans. In all this, she was like crying and stuff... so my thing is this.. I can't put up with that. I'm a very independant person and the fact is, she's just tryign to be way to possessive of me. She wants to be together 24/7, it was great at first but now I just want to be single.. I don't want to be with someone who cries all the time over nothing and then puts me in situations like that. Should I end it now? What should I do? How do I break it off with someone I work with, though we don't work closely together and in fact don't have to see each other much. I need advise
yes Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 if i were you, i'd break it off, yes. your post provides plenty of reasons for doing so. if vivid_29 comes along, he'll advise you to "hit it" and then break up ... right? better luck next time! -yes
TheHack22 Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 Thanks yes. I'm just a very independant person that just likes to go out and do stuff whenever and not be tied down. She just went into this all too fast, the problem is she's been in some very very horrible relationships, beaten, and such that I just feel bad because I know she hasn't ever had a guy who's treated her right and I'm the kind of guy that's very mellow, laid back, I don't yell and rarely get mad and never ever do I lay my hands on a girl. So I want to break it off with her, but I just don't know how to go about it without it being too brutal.. trying to make it sound neutral so it doesn't seem like she's the one that drove me away. I don't know, confusing I know.
TheHack22 Posted March 14, 2004 Posted March 14, 2004 I'm gonna scream.. seriously like every weekend she wants me to stay with her all the time.. she just doesn't seem to think that she can stay a night without me..
morrigan Posted March 16, 2004 Posted March 16, 2004 You would be doing both of you a favor by breaking up. Tell her in person that you don't feel you are compatible with eachother, that she's a great person and will find other guys she has more in common with. Be firm about the breakup. It would be stupid of you to complain about her behavior if you keep on dating her.
SoleMate Posted March 16, 2004 Posted March 16, 2004 Should I end it now? Yes. You made it clear that this relationship is very much not to your taste, and that's the only important question to be answered. The fact that this girl clearly needs a savior of some sort isn't a reason for you to be it. What should I do? Sit down with her in a private, neutral spot, and tell her that you will not be continuing the relationship. I don't recommend giving lots of reasons and analysis - just say that you think of her kindly, but have decided not to be in this relationship any more. She'll cry and carry on, and she may not let go easily. Just stay calm and courteous, yet detached, as you release her grip from you again and again. I have a lot of sympathy for both of you, and am sorry that there is no way for this to end without both of you feeling some pain.
Music Lover Posted March 16, 2004 Posted March 16, 2004 I think she needs to be told the reason why you are breaking up with her. I've been left wondering to many times "What went wrong" if another guy broke up with her cause she was to dependant and you are going to break up with her for the same reason then she needs to be clued in. And of course you have to do it nicely since you work together
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