2liters Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 (edited) Hi, i'm new. i just really needed help. this is a long story. i have trust issues. i have always worried a lot. recently, me and my boyfriend broke up, last week. he said, "he didn't love me the same way." he doesn't love me that way anymore. it was heartbreaking. it is. i thought i would be okay. that maybe, if it was meant to be, he would come back. but. today, he told me, he likes someone else. my stomach fell, because we both knew who it was. throughout our relationship, i would get worried that he would like this certain girl, his "best friend" before we started dating. guess who he liked? that same exact girl. the kicker? she likes him back. i asked him if they would date and he said eventually. it killed me. i am angry. i am hurt. i am betrayed. i am sad. i want them to break up. i want them to never work out. i want him to come back to me. i want... him. i miss him. but. i know this is not how it will work out. i want to be happy for him. i want him to do whatever. note, that we are exes, but we are still best of friends. we are still very very close. i keep asking myself. why does he like her? if i am kinder, if i am so fantastic like he says, why did he pick her? why? will he do the same things with her that he did with me? will she make him happy like i did, even happier? right now. i need advice. on how to cope with this. on what to say to myself. because right now, i am hopeless, and i am lost. i am hurt. i asked him if there was ever a chance we would get back together, if we could fall in love again when he likes someone else. he said, definitely. he could. feelings change. it could change. he said i was perfect in his eyes, but my worrying was too much. perhaps that is why he likes this girl. because she can trust him with me. because she's funner, better? it's the question i want to ask him. why does he like her? but that is the question that i do not want to be answered. it is killing me, but i don't want to know the answer. i can't stop crying lately. i just need help. edit: i cry thinking of them together. i worry. i don't want them to be together. i am selfish. why? i don't want to imagine them kissing, being in love. i am sorry if i am being so irrational. i had nowhere to turn to. Edited December 11, 2010 by 2liters
fiat500 Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 Hello 2liters. Your ex is a weak little boy. You pretty much nailed it. He left because this girl does not have trust issues. You were so worried about him getting together with her that you pretty much made it happen. All you can do now is take it with dignity even if you feel absolutely sick. Be mature about this even if you don't want to. Remain calm even if you don't feel it. Be classy about this. This is the only thing that can make you seem appealing to him again. Is he really worth it to you if he could be easily swayed out of a relationship? No. He's not. He's a little boy. Do you really want to be with a tool like him?
Livelovelearn Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 (edited) Hello 2liters, first all i believe you came to the right place, because when i was dealing with my break up i spoke to many people on here and they have given me wonderful advice and support so keep coming on here and posting as much as you can. secondly i have to disagree with fiat500, i dont think your ex is a little boy, because i was going through a similar situation however i think your situation was a little better than mine. My ex of almost 3 years told me that he didnt feel the same, he was confused and needed to figure **** out in his life. I never got what he meant by this and i constantly asked if he was interested in anyone else, he always said no. That was a lie! I came to find out that the same month of my bday, he was talking to his girl and a day after they started dating while he was still talking to me stringing me along! Atleast your ex had the balls to tell you the truth. Its hard being lied to by someone you trust so much. And i admire that your ex had the courage to tell you. i think this "not feeling the same issue" is common around people in their 20s (if you guys are in your 20s) and i learned you cant control how a person feels, i did notice that at times i found my ex trying hard to show me that he cared, and i too didnt trust him as much because we did break up before as well. its hard to carry on a relationship with no trust, because you will begin to resent eachother for not trusting eachother. Trust is a must in a successful relationship! I do agree with fiat500 who stated to be calm about it, i sure wish i was when i found out. i would just say to stop talking to him, dont give him any reasons he will figure it out himself and just continue to live life, and pamper yourself. take care of you and maybe start dating if you must just to see what else is out there as well! personally i dont think you should waste your time crying over him, because he recognize your worth but if you were a good gf to him, he will see that when its too late. just move on and dont contact him, its the best way to heal and try to ignore getting any info on him and his new gf..it is easier said than done trust me, but once you focus on yoourself and work on you, you begin to realize you are more important than some man! just focus on you ..good luck Edited December 11, 2010 by Livelovelearn
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