wierdmunky Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 I seem to be attracting the wrong kind of guy, and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. One example, I was having a nice time with a guy that came to visit me at work all the time (he met me there) and things were going a long smoothly, but there was something about it that i couldn't put my finger on. It seemed there was there was a chunk of his life, that I was missing or he was tip toeing around. I tried to figure it out in every conversation I had with him, but he would never tell. Well guess what, after talking with a friend of his (that comes to visit once in a while who knows mutual coworkers) and a coworker, I find out that he is MARRIED and has a 9 month old baby! Really bummed out about that because he was really sweet, good looking, and liked the pace he was taking things. That is a ridiculously huge white lie. Of all the guys that I could have gave opportunities to, I was carefully starting to let my guard down with him. I told myself I was going to just live a single life a year ago, and not date to help myself heal after a bad relationship (another example) There have been other men, that are good men that I've denied that I just don't have any attraction too. At the same time, their "deal breakers" were more obvious. So, I was doing some researching online and it seems that it has to ME, that I'm attracting this, and I need to change something about myself. I don't dress provocatively, but flattering, and feminine. I'm not flirty, but I do work in sales, and it's part of my job to make a connection with people. I also looked up stalkers : / (I told MM that he cannot visit me, and he said he might since his feelings wouldn't leave even if he would) and a bolded section of an article said a lot of victims were labeled "too nice". Well that's me. If there's anything that people say about me, it's that I'm a really sweet and nice girl. So, I guess there's 2 problems. How can I change so I don't attract those kinds of guys, and that I'm aware of a "possible" stalker. Also, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, if that's conveyed on here.. I just need to stop being so naive, but I'm not exactly sure how.
GooseChaser Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 It is good that you told him to leave you alone. Another way to deal with a stalker is to collect all physical evidence of it that you can, such as emails and letters. You can use that to take legal action if it reaches that point. I'm not sure if you're doing anything wrong, but a good thing to do is to keep a positive outlook on things and believe in yourself. You don't need to let one bad experience get you down. Just live in a way that makes you happy, and I'm sure in time you will have better luck! It could take a few tries, but it's worth the wait!
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