Surfer203 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Well.. it is that time of year again.. how are we all coping with being apart from our spouses during the holidays? We are all at different stages.. some just broke up, some have been broken up for a while and are in limbo, some of us are starting or going through a divorce. I look forward to taking comfort in my family and close friends. Going to eat well.. maybe drink well? Haha. Going to spread joy as best as I can. Going to try to do some things for less fortunate people. Anything I can to enrich my life or the lives of others is what I will focus on. I can tell you one thing, my wife will not be getting a "Merry Christmas" phone call/text/email from me. I hope everyone has a nice holiday season, stay positive and we will all get through this!
Author Surfer203 Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 I was just thinking, we should all send our spouses/bf's/gf's etc. a bag of coal for Xmas. I made up a mock Xmas card for my friends and a few family members as a joke.. it shows myself and wife whom I crudely cropped out of photo in front of our Xmas tree last year. It says "Merry Christmas! Love, Matthew and" That's it.. pretty funny - well at least I got a laugh out of it. You need to joke a bit, poke fun at the situation even if the situation is TERRIBLE.
Gt.ooh Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 Well, I'm in the same boat. Trying to stay positive is the absolute key.. Flashbacks are beginning. Though I will say it could be a lot worse. Happy Holidays!
bslchump Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 I was actually wondering about this. Since we'll be going home together for winter break but won't see each other for christmas ( :[ ), should I send her a "Merry Christmas" text? What if she sends me one? Ugh. That day is going to be awful...
Author Surfer203 Posted December 11, 2010 Author Posted December 11, 2010 Well.. I sure as hell won't be wishing my wife a Merry Christmas.. I doubt she will either after I enforced NC. Who knows though.. there is nothing to be Merry about between the two of us - so best not say it. Your situation may vary.
SimonSerenade Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 It's hard to say how I'm doing this holiday, I feel angry at her yet sad at the same time, She left me for a few days last Christmas so I spent Christmas Eve alone without her or my son but this is completely different, This time I'll have neither for the whole of this holiday, I'm not going anywhere for Christmas dinner, I'm just spending the day by myself, Going to play some games and watch some Christmas films I feel, Holidays will always be the toughest without her but we all find our ways to cope, Mine will be ignoring her and playing some games that I'll buy for Santa to shove down my chimney lol. I bought her a present or two, Nothing major but just something to show a bit of Christmas kindness, I know I won't get anything back, Probably not even a thanks but oh well, I feel better just knowing I can do something like that now and not care what the outcome maybe, I think in a way I'm slowly moving on, All I want for Christmas is to be okay, If I get that it'll be a pretty good holiday, Not the holly and jolly merry Christmas I was hoping for but still something.
carhill Posted December 11, 2010 Posted December 11, 2010 Hey, happy holidays! Me, I'm doing Christmas shopping for friends and looking forward to traveling and doing some entertaining at home for the first time since my exW and I divorced. She took all our stuff so I've been busy on the internet finding bargains. TBH, I don't miss my exW and her family at all. I'm sure the feeling is mutual. Perhaps I feel a bit guilty for saying it, but now that my mom's dead and free of the scourge of dementia and I'm free of the scourge of unhealthy relationships and attachments, I'm happier than I've been in years. This is going to be a good Christmas. I'll put up the old tree, decorate it with mom's Victorian decorations, place her ashes beneath it, raise a cup of egg nog and say goodbye one last time for old time's sake. Even the cat will get a few presents. OP, I know it's a painful time right now but there are bright spots. Focus on them and make the holidays about the positive. You have a choice. Best wishes
Fermentum Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 The Holidays are going to be bad. I'll just enjoy the time with my family and make sure not to get drunk on New Years Eve, just to resist the temptation. But everybody stay strong! Not breaking NC is the best thing to do for yourself, because you'll feel proud that you were tempted and you resisted!
starryeyed12 Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 Well, my grandma died 2 weekends ago. It was a peaceful passing in her sleep. She was 95 and lived an incredible life, travelling to over 126 countries! At the funeral home I saw a pamphlet called "Coping With the Holiday Season After the Loss of a Loved One." I read it and I think it can relate on some levels to the loss that we're all currently facing on here. One thing it said was not to skip out on the holiday parties and festivities. It's best to balance your solitude with sociability. It also said to give yourself time to let your feelings out, whether through art or writing or just having a cry. Don't let your feelings of sadness and loss boil just under the surface all holiday season, but try not to burry them either. When the time is right reflect on them and let them out. Another big one was to hold on to traditions. Traditions transcend people and years, and can make you feel a part of something bigger than just yourself. Start some if you don't have any. The last thing I really remembered from it was to try to find and connect with the spirituality associated with your holiday. Often spirituality is lost with the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Try to connect your spirit to the higher power associated with your celebrations, and find peace in the hope that this message brings. Here's to wishing everyone a good holiday season!
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