What are your absolute "deal breakers"?

[AT-AT28]

Ok, im curious about other peoples stance on this. Since I was boy, I already had a so called "laundry list" of things that I refused to compromise on when finding a lady in my life. Over the years, this list has changed, modified or been cemented even further in my personal belief and desires for a relationship as I got older, experienced relationships and met woman.

 

Now being 30, I have certain things that NO MATTER how nice, awesome, beautiful or rich any woman is, if she falls into any of these listings, I have no interest in her. Zip, zero, nada. My mind has already mentally moved, I will spare no second thought on them. Could be things that I found out from first seeing her in person to after a first or second date. Either way, she will not be part of my life in a relationship.

 

 

1. Smoker Tried once with a girl years ago. Never, ever, EVER again!

 

2. Drug User Self explanatory

 

3. Heavy drinker Another "duh"

 

4. Body piercings and excessive tattoos. Go find someone else who will enjoy your mutilated body, I want nothing to do with it, its totally gross. Small tats with meaning I will overlook with the right woman.

5. Atheist/Muslim/Jewish/Mormon/Fundamental christian. I was raised and follow basic Lutheran/christian beliefs which I have a liberal belief and outlook on. It will not work beyond that. Period.

 

6. Blondes Not attracted to em, at all. Period. Black and burnette or a mix.....mmmmm sexy. Dirty or fake highlighted blondes i'll overlook. Pamela Anderson pure blonde? Hell no.

 

7. Excessive overweight I'm no male model myself but Im a man. My genes and hormones are hardwired to be attracted to a decent female body shape. It's biological, I can't fight it. I don't care how nice and sweet you are, overly fat isn't attractive. Tried it for 5 years with ex, doesnt' work. End of story.

 

8. Excessive skinnyness Don't care how much the "popular" world wants you to be thin, I am personally not attracted to holocaust survivor bodies. I actually prefer woman with some extra meat on them, its sexy, but not excessive as stated in #7

 

9. Wants children I am pretty settled with my decision to not bring children into this ever changing world. I don't feel I have what it would take to be a good father I saw the dedication and sacrifices my folks did for me and my sister and I feel I just can't do the same. I refuse to chance to be a poor father and have a child suffer as a result. To many of those in the world already, I won't add to it.

 

10. Paris Hilton/Snookie/Kim Kardashian mentality, personality and needs. Get the hell away from me!!!!

 

 

Call me shallow, narrow minded or just a plain jerk if you want. But I know my needs and my desires and life is to short to be paired with someone who has any of the following traits that I simply cannot and will not loosen up on for my own reasons and beliefs. If this list results in me being lonely till the day I die, so be it. Being single has its bonuses.

 

Anyone else have deal breaker standards?

Edited December 10, 2010 by AT-AT28

[kdark]

You would seriously overlook a great girl just because she was blonde? That is quite a deal breaker...

 

And you also eliminate many people with you religious requirements. No that their is anything wrong with it, but your dating pool is going to be much smaller. Same thing with the not wanting children thing.

 

Other than those three, your list seems pretty standard. I personally don't have a problem with smokers, tats or piercings, or casual drug users. And I'm atheist myself so religion isn't that big a deal to me, as long as it doesn't permeate one's life.

[AT-AT28]

Life is too short to be with someone who doesn't meet your standards for a happy relationship. I tried for 5 years, it doesn't work. I won't do it again.

[Sarah1977]

No love for Atheist red heads, I see.

 

1. Smoker or drug user.

2. Excessively religious. (I don't mind if he believes as long as he doesn't try to convert me)

3. Mean or disrespectful

4. Hates his job/no job

5. Lousy tipper

6. Insecure or jealous

[Cee]

I'd rather think about deal makers:

 

Emotionally available and there is mutual interest in pursuing a romantic relationship.

 

That pretty much covers the important stuff.

[kdark]

5. Lousy tipper

 

I feel you on this. Being rude to the server, or strangers in general is a definite deal breaker for me. I've yelled at women and walked out on dates because of this kind of stuff. How can you be that rude to a person you don't even know?

[loverofloveandstuff]

5. Atheist/Muslim/Jewish/Mormon/Fundamental christian. I was raised and follow basic Lutheran/christian beliefs which I have a liberal belief and outlook on. It will not work beyond that. Period.

 

Wait, you won't date anybody who is not lutheran christian? wow, goodluck with that, I actually don't know anyone who is lutheran... plenty of people from other branches of christianity but not lutheran.

 

BTW, the dealbreakers thread has been done pretty recently I think.

[AlektraClementine]

Married but these were mine:

 

Religious in any way

Addicted to drugs or alcohol

Political Radical of any persuasion

Know-it-all attitude

Mean to or Intolerant of people in the service industry (this says so much about someone)

Talked incessantly or poorly about ex girlfriends

Unaccountable personality type

 

 

 

 

 

 

[SmileFace]

1) People who have a laundry list: This just won't do .

 

Kidding

 

but I like the idea of deal makers. Like that other poster said. I don't like saying what won't work -- just don't want to limit myself, you know. Then again having a list is always good for some.

 

My deal maker - someone who has goals in life and likes me for me.

 

Also I preferably won't date someone who is any type of believer. Be it in God or whom ever.

Edited December 10, 2010 by SmileFace

[phillyfan]

Ok, im curious about other peoples stance on this. Since I was boy, I already had a so called "laundry list" of things that I refused to compromise on when finding a lady in my life. Over the years, this list has changed, modified or been cemented even further in my personal belief and desires for a relationship as I got older, experienced relationships and met woman.

 

Now being 30, I have certain things that NO MATTER how nice, awesome, beautiful or rich any woman is, if she falls into any of these listings, I have no interest in her. Zip, zero, nada. My mind has already mentally moved, I will spare no second thought on them. Could be things that I found out from first seeing her in person to after a first or second date. Either way, she will not be part of my life in a relationship.

 

 

1. Smoker Tried once with a girl years ago. Never, ever, EVER again!

 

2. Drug User Self explanatory

 

3. Heavy drinker Another "duh"

 

4. Body piercings and excessive tattoos. Go find someone else who will enjoy your mutilated body, I want nothing to do with it, its totally gross. Small tats with meaning I will overlook with the right woman.

 

5. Atheist/Muslim/Jewish/Mormon/Fundamental christian. I was raised and follow basic Lutheran/christian beliefs which I have a liberal belief and outlook on. It will not work beyond that. Period.

 

6. Blondes Not attracted to em, at all. Period. Black and burnette or a mix.....mmmmm sexy. Dirty or fake highlighted blondes i'll overlook. Pamela Anderson pure blonde? Hell no.

 

7. Excessive overweight I'm no male model myself but Im a man. My genes and hormones are hardwired to be attracted to a decent female body shape. It's biological, I can't fight it. I don't care how nice and sweet you are, overly fat isn't attractive. Tried it for 5 years with ex, doesnt' work. End of story.

 

8. Excessive skinnyness Don't care how much the "popular" world wants you to be thin, I am personally not attracted to holocaust survivor bodies. I actually prefer woman with some extra meat on them, its sexy, but not excessive as stated in #7

 

9. Wants children I am pretty settled with my decision to not bring children into this ever changing world. I don't feel I have what it would take to be a good father I saw the dedication and sacrifices my folks did for me and my sister and I feel I just can't do the same. I refuse to chance to be a poor father and have a child suffer as a result. To many of those in the world already, I won't add to it.

 

10. Paris Hilton/Snookie/Kim Kardashian mentality, personality and needs. Get the hell away from me!!!!

 

 

Call me shallow, narrow minded or just a plain jerk if you want. But I know my needs and my desires and life is to short to be paired with someone who has any of the following traits that I simply cannot and will not loosen up on for my own reasons and beliefs. If this list results in me being lonely till the day I die, so be it. Being single has its bonuses.

 

Anyone else have deal breaker standards?

 

Im with u apart from 5 and 9 - dont think Id add anything else 2 ur list. Id say drama, but u covered that in 10.

[xpaperxcutx]

 

You do know Pamela Anderson is a natural brunette right? She only bleanced her hair for Baywatch....

[irc333]

6. Blondes Not attracted to em, at all. Period. Black and burnette or a mix.....mmmmm sexy. Dirty or fake highlighted blondes i'll overlook. Pamela Anderson pure blonde? Hell no.

 

I can understand how ALL the rest of yours could be deal breakers, but I'm failing to understand how something as petty as hair color can be a deal breaker?

[tinktronik]

My biggest deal breaker:

Clingy or needy. What I mean by this is a person who needs constant reassurance or needs to be told constantly how special they are, how in love you are, or wants lots of ohey gooey baby talk in a relationship. (It all turns my stomach.)

[Feelin Frisky]

No religiosity whatsoever. Atheist preferred (or someone rare like me who believes in an absolute totality of nature and the total exclusion of any remanant of bogus hand-me-down "super-nature").

 

No smoking. A litt maryjane OK.

 

Must have a single identity and understandible constants.

[AT-AT28]

Wait, you won't date anybody who is not lutheran christian? wow, goodluck with that, I actually don't know anyone who is lutheran... plenty of people from other branches of christianity but not lutheran.

 

BTW, the dealbreakers thread has been done pretty recently I think.

 

 

Maybe I worded it wrong. She doesn't have to be Lutheran but I sure as hell am not dealing with the hardcore christians as well as Mormons and the like. Those people are a freaking cult, period.

[Jannah]

Atheists....

Hard core Religious Fanatics

Jehovah's Witnesses, mainly because they are annoying.

Edited December 10, 2010 by Jannah

[strength-abounds]

1. Excessive alcohol consumption.

 

2. Dumba$$es

 

3. Clingy or needy.

 

4. Judgemental

 

5. No drug use whatsoever.

[AT-AT28]

Atheists....

Hard core Religious Fanatics

Jehovah's Witnesses, mainly because they are annoying.

 

I rest my case. Mormons just freak me out period. Very nice people but damn, whata powerful cult.

[Jannah]

I rest my case. Mormons just freak me out period. Very nice people but damn, whata powerful cult.

 

Indeed.

 

........

[AT-AT28]

Indeed.

 

........

 

 

I love you

[carhill]

I remember Pam (Anderson-Lee) from when she was a blue zone girl for Labatt's and have her original 1990 issue of Playboy from back with I was a subscriber. She was a brunette as a young lady but gradually went more blonde and was pretty much a complete blond by the time she did her centerfold.

 

Her case does bring up one unique dealbreaker for myself, that being non-reconstructive breast implants. Today, I'm sure Pam has a different perspective on such surgeries, first performed on her after her centerfold appearance. She was a clearly cute and engaging young lady whose path took many twists and turns.

 

A couple other dealbreakers would be substance abuse/addiction and untreated mental illness.

[musemaj11]

If she expects me to spend money on her.

 

Just three days ago a girl indirectly asked me out by telling me to buy her a dinner. I kind of liked her up to that point but bleh I suddenly lost respect. In the past I would have fallen for it like a dog. But now Im different.

 

Also I dont like religious people. Im interested in spending time with someone who thinks some guy walked on water and rose from the death after 3 days. LOCO!

[Futuregirl]

Dealbreakers:

 

-If he's cheap but has no problem taking from me.

-If he tells me I need to lose 10 lbs (at my weight I would look skeletal)

-If he continually tries to tweak, or upgrade my appearance

-If he has a large harem of female friends he leans on for "emotional support" and whatever else

-If he's a substance abuser

-If he's still hooked on an ex

-If he lies to me

-If he knows everything and I know nothing

-If he's closed minded and intolerant

-If he has a really unhealthy and lazy lifestyle

-If he is smelly or unclean /doesn't take care of himself

-If he obviously flirts with other women

-If he cannot be respectful to me

-If he is unstable or unreliable

-If he manipulates

-If he is violent

 

This was a good activity.. I think the list should be longer.

[Feelin Frisky]

WTF?? What up with this nature and shyt? No offense homie, but you sound like a gay dude, a teetotal mangina.

Yeah and like your the icon of all that's right with the world. Why don't you keep your vitriol to yourself. You're poisoning the well with this kind of attack. I said my piece and you said yours--I didn't fault you but I could have so, try living and let living, homeiboy.

[Jannah]

I love you

 

Holla!!