Dumped for drinking

[Gold Pile]

I wasn't out for long, my face was in deep grass just inches from a massive tree. The steering wheel was crushed against the tree, my foot was stuck between the steering wheel and seat. The engine was still running and I smelled gas. In an impressive feat of contortion-ism...I managed to shut off the ignition. I heard approaching sirens , Crap!, some trouble maker had called 911. I gathered up the beer cans in my reach and tossed them as far as I could. More cans were beyond my reach. 1st to arrive was my neighbor Mr Pavlov, he was out walking his dogs. He helped me free my foot.

 

A Police car pulled up, my girlfriend pulled up right behind him. We had been dating for 5 weeks(a long time for me), this was the 2nd time she unexpectedly called on me this week. She was getting too clingy. The cop asked if I was alright, I was. He asked the cause of the accident. I informed him that I was drunk and going too fast. My girlfriend left in a huff and she ended up breaking up with me over this.....what a prude. That was the only time (Summer 2003) that drinking was used as a reason to dump me.

 

I told the cop everything was fine and that he could go now. He busted my chops for a few minutes while he debated (out loud) if he was going to give me a ticket. No ticket. Just before he left he asked " You seem in good shape Mr. Pile, why do use a ride on mower for such a small yard?".

 

I lost the girl and the mower, but life went on.

[Leandro]

I'm a bit confused. Did you crash on your lawn mower??

[laRubiaBonita]

I'm a bit confused. Did you crash on your lawn mower??

 

i guess you could call Her that.....

[Art_Critic]

Should've bought a John Deere.... They never leave you in a bind.

[Leandro]

i guess you could call Her that.....

LOL, yea I guess.

[Feelin Frisky]

Sounds more like 1973 than 2003. No one "gets a ticket" or even a warning for being drunk and crashing--it's been hand-cuffs and criminal processing for at least the last 20 years. Seriously.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I hope you've since switched to a push mower. If you're too drunk to stand up, you're unlikely to get into trouble with that.

[Lucky555]

definitely a good writer. I needed the laugh today! Just get a new one girl and a new mower, Shopping trip!!! LOL

[JungleLover]

OP, I just don't understand why you won't just hire a crack fiend to mow your lawn. They will cut every blade individually with a razor if you ask them to do so. It would have saved you the ticket.

[florence of suburbia]

"Mr. Pile"... :laugh:

[skydiveaddict]

lmao too funny, again. well done

[Citizen Erased]

Nice

 

The funniest thing about GP is the new posters that inevitably don't realise who they're dealing with.

[AverageJoe]

Mr. Pavlov walking his dogs.

 

That made me slobber.

 

 

Whatever happened to that nun you were hitting up?

[Wink Tobasco]

Pavlov's dogs =funny

GF rushing to help, called too clingy =funny

Telling the cop he could leave = funny

 

But it's the image of a drunk man smashing his well stocked mower into a tree, then winging away his (evidence) beer cans while trapped in the wreckage,that made me :lmao:

[Gold Pile]

lmao too funny, again. well done

Hi Sky,

Thank You (and everyone else ) for the kind words.

[sam light]

:lmao::lmao:. to tell the truth it was only :lmao:,but LS wouldn't take such a short reply. While :lmao: is'nt :lmao::lmao:, it's still pretty darn good.

[Wink Tobasco]

never mind, I can't delete this reply

[Gold Pile]

never mind, I can't delete this reply

 

Thanks for nothing:confused:

[GPFan]

Give my man Gold Pile some credit as he didn't try to outrun the police on his mower!