Jayclark Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 Hi everyone. My girlfriend and I broke up about 5 days after Valentines day. We had been dating for about a year now and we loved every minute of it. We did have disagreements about things but who dosen't. Basicly how we started dating was we liked each other but didn't know it. You know one of them type of people when you see them you have to have them. Well for about 2 months we didn't see each other to much due to work and things. We only saw each other 4 times in 2 months. It was hard for both of us. She changed during them 2 months basicly going out more than normal. Because she wasn't with me. Well me and her got in an arguement. And she said she wanted to break up. She told me she didn't think she loved me as much as she used to since we haven't been together to much. That was in January. Ok we broke up and it hurt like hell. She came up to me a week later crying her eyes out saying she was stupid for breaking up with me and we should get back together. So we did. Well her best friend and her boyfriend broke up so they started hanging out. Than about 2 months later after the first break up we broke up again. She said that she wanted to be single but didn't want to lose me. I told her to do what made her happy. Because I don't want her unhappy. So after that phone call we didn't talk for like 2 days. She called me than I didn't hear from her for about a week. I told her I have no problem talking to her but when she dosen't call me I worry about her. She said she didn't have to obligation to call me anymore. Well after that I went to work and came home she started calling me everyday. I was surprised. Than she told me to call her on her break at work I didn't becuase I was busy. She asked how come I didn't call her. I told her why. But she tells me she loves me and dosen't want us to be with other people becuase she wants to be with me forever its just she wants to be single right now. I find that hard to understand because if she loves me why she want to be single yet not be with other people. She said she wants her space also. I won't call her unless she wants me to. But she calls me everyday and we talk like we used. She tells me that she dosen't want us to get over each other. And I'll ask her do we have a future and she'll say she don't know. When I asked her when she came over to talk the other day she said maybe. Well basicly I am confussed about the whole thing. If she loves me why she want to be single? We are single but she still wants to be basicly together but not tied down. And I have no problem with that. But I'm worried that she'll hurt me again. I think she might just keeping me along until she finds someone else. But than I think she loves me and reason she starting to act like this is because she knows how much I love her and that she realizes that she starting want me back. So I'm really confused. I don't want to get over her but If I go along with her and she says she dosen't want us to get over one another and she does than I'll be hurt again. One thing I know she does love a lot. But that is the only thing I know. Does anybody see a future between me and her. Do you just think it is a phase because her and her friend can hang out because she dosen't have a boyfriend either? I really don't feel like we really have broken up. Thats why I don't understand how she feels single.
Dejin Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 Dude, she's playing you. It sounds to me like she's afraid of being completely alone, so she'll keep you on that leash. But then she isn't really into your relationship (I'm sorry to say that so bluntly, but that is the truth), so she'll want to be single so she can scope the other guys out too. It's like you are just her "back-up guy" until she finds someone else. Advice: Leave her. Unless you like the friends - w/ - benifits thing, which is exactly what she is doing, find a girl that will stay committed to you. Or at least respect you a little more.
Author Jayclark Posted March 13, 2004 Author Posted March 13, 2004 Exactly what I though. Friends with benefits thing wouldn't be so bad but when you love someone as much as I love her it just makes it worse. I'm gonna jsut tell her straight up that I'm gone and hope she happy with the other guys. I just think tis funny how all other guys she dated treated her like crap than when she finds one that would do anything for her she starts tripping and wants to be single. Guess she dosen't know when she got a good thing. Thanks for the advice.
Dejin Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 I understand what you mean when you say it hurts. I was in a situation kind of like yours a while back, and I was really pissed when I figured it all out, that she was just using me. It's like you spend all this time and effort into a relationship and then the other person tells you to screw off. And then it hurts even worse because you've grown to care about 'em. Yeah, some chicks are just weird like that. Then again some guys are too. I guess you just gotta find the right ones, and thats what it's all about really. Good luck with everything, one more thing before you end everything with her: talk with her first. Really try and get her to explain what she is doing, because I mean, who knows? Maybe she has a completely different story, and it's possible that this whole thing is just a big misunderstanding.
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