nowwhatnow Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 I guess an issue with moving on would be that it is hard to think of this break up as good for me because my ex was nothing less than amazing. It would be easier if i knew he was ultimately bad for me, but he was not, he brought out the best in me. Will he ever realize what he gave up? Or does he know what he had was special but just does not care? How can material and trivial things like work ever bring as much happiness to his life as I did, because certainly none of these things matter to me. All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, was him.
fun2bewith Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 I guess an issue with moving on would be that it is hard to think of this break up as good for me because my ex was nothing less than amazing. It would be easier if i knew he was ultimately bad for me, but he was not, he brought out the best in me. Will he ever realize what he gave up? Or does he know what he had was special but just does not care? How can material and trivial things like work ever bring as much happiness to his life as I did, because certainly none of these things matter to me. All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, was him. Did he know that all you ever wanted or needed was him? What if he is asking the same thing: "Will she ever realize what she gave up?"
Author nowwhatnow Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 Ya, Im sure he knows. He is the one who dumped me and he never really gave me a reason other than he was stressed and as a person he is changing. I guess that change meant focusing on work and his social life. But I am trying to understand after everything we have been through, how work brings him any pleasure. It certainly does not to me. Will he ever realize?
fun2bewith Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Ya, Im sure he knows. He is the one who dumped me and he never really gave me a reason other than he was stressed and as a person he is changing. I guess that change meant focusing on work and his social life. But I am trying to understand after everything we have been through, how work brings him any pleasure. It certainly does not to me. Will he ever realize? He knows what he had, but as I am listening to the story, he is a man that would like to focus on a goal and that is his pleasure and that will take his mind of you temporarily Maybe he himself doesn't really want you to know the real him when he gets stressed...Some guys leave girls if they feel they can not give enough to the girl... WILL HE REALIZE? Maybe not right away...but there will be a time and a place where he will reflect, especially if he is goal driven...and where material things won't make him happy and then he will start thinking about what he had... You will not know when this happens, but every guy experiences a point in their lives where they reflect and realize what they had... My question to you: What if he realizes, what does that mean to you? What do you want your end result to be?
january2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 To be honest, there may not be any answers to your questions. He may not even be able to answer them. And even if he did, would you accept the answers? Would they help you to move on? Because you are asking these questions, it seems that you are still heavily emotionally invested in this relationship - going over it, what he said, analysing the detail. Further down the line, you may realise that it doesn't actually matter what his reasons are. What matters is that you are not together anymore and that you need to move on with your life. That means accepting the breakup and that whether rightly or wrongly, he broke up with you and therefore, right now, he is not the right man for you. I know that you like the person you were when you with him. And you can have that again, most likely with someone else, if not with him much further down the line. At the moment, I would suggest that if you are finding your thoughts overwhelming, try writing them down. Get it all out into some kind of journal so that you're not constantly analysing the detail in your head.
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