If a girl flakes all the time, she is NOT INTERESTED! Duh!

[phineas]

I keep reading threads where guys complain about girls who flake on them. Errrr, isn't it obvious why they flake all the time?! They just don't want to see you, but they don't want to be mean by stating that outright.

 

This happens to me quite often. I'll meet a guy who seems okay. I'm initially interested and will give him my number if he asks for it. Then the msging and calling starts. Usually by that time, I will have decided if I actually want to get to know him or not. If I do, I will pick up/answer back and set up a date. If not, I will ignore the call and msg back later with an excuse not to see him. He will try a few more times and I will make up a few more excuses. Then he will stop trying.

 

That is what I want! If I'm not interested in a guy, I want him to stop contacting me. I can't just tell them the truth because that would be mean. I would feel mean saying "Please stop contacting me. I'm not interested" even if it's the right thing to do. So I flake. I flake every time until they stop trying.

 

So to summarize, girls who flake all the time are not interested. The end.

 

If it were only that simple.

If a woman flakes on me I don't call her after. ever.

 

When I say flake I mean drop off the face of the earth, don't answer calls or texts on the night we were supposed to go out.

Might send a text last minute cancelling.

 

But, the women who flake on me call & try to set up a date again.

 

Then they flake again. They actually tell me they really like me to get me to agree to go out with them then they disappear for a week or a month then come back. by then I ignore them & they won't leave me alone.

They blow up my phone with calls & texts.

 

I finally pick up & tell them that women who like me don't keep blowing me off & literally have to tell them to go to hell to keep them from calling me again.

[phineas]

I keep reading threads where guys complain about girls who flake on them. Errrr, isn't it obvious why they flake all the time?! They just don't want to see you, but they don't want to be mean by stating that outright.

 

This happens to me quite often. I'll meet a guy who seems okay. I'm initially interested and will give him my number if he asks for it. Then the msging and calling starts. Usually by that time, I will have decided if I actually want to get to know him or not. If I do, I will pick up/answer back and set up a date. If not, I will ignore the call and msg back later with an excuse not to see him. He will try a few more times and I will make up a few more excuses. Then he will stop trying.

 

That is what I want! If I'm not interested in a guy, I want him to stop contacting me. I can't just tell them the truth because that would be mean. I would feel mean saying "Please stop contacting me. I'm not interested" even if it's the right thing to do. So I flake. I flake every time until they stop trying.

 

So to summarize, girls who flake all the time are not interested. The end.

 

If it were only that simple.

If a woman flakes on me I don't call her after. ever.

 

When I say flake I mean drop off the face of the earth, don't answer calls or texts on the night we were supposed to go out.

Might send a text last minute cancelling.

 

But, the women who flake on me call & try to set up a date again.

 

Then they flake again. They actually tell me they really like me to get me to agree to go out with them then they disappear for a week or a month then come back. by then I ignore them & they won't leave me alone.

They blow up my phone with calls & texts.

 

I finally pick up & tell them that women who like me don't keep blowing me off & literally have to tell them to go to hell to keep them from calling me again.

[irc333]

Ah, sounds like YOU are PART of the problem when it comes to the whole dating scene.

 

You give him your number, then you formulate a reason not to go out with them.

 

I think this is why a lot of women wind up chronically single, they analyize the guy AFTER meeting them, then between the time they meet them, to the time of the first date (oh wait, there won't be one, becuase she flaked)

 

She pulls all this stupid crap by not returning calls or what not.

 

As a man I find this behavior immature and irritating.

 

And these women wonder WHY they are STILL single.

 

 

I keep reading threads where guys complain about girls who flake on them. Errrr, isn't it obvious why they flake all the time?! They just don't want to see you, but they don't want to be mean by stating that outright.

 

This happens to me quite often. I'll meet a guy who seems okay. I'm initially interested and will give him my number if he asks for it. Then the msging and calling starts. Usually by that time, I will have decided if I actually want to get to know him or not. If I do, I will pick up/answer back and set up a date. If not, I will ignore the call and msg back later with an excuse not to see him. He will try a few more times and I will make up a few more excuses. Then he will stop trying.

 

That is what I want! If I'm not interested in a guy, I want him to stop contacting me. I can't just tell them the truth because that would be mean. I would feel mean saying "Please stop contacting me. I'm not interested" even if it's the right thing to do. So I flake. I flake every time until they stop trying.

 

So to summarize, girls who flake all the time are not interested. The end.

Edited December 10, 2010 by irc333

[VertexSquared]

I keep reading threads where guys complain about girls who flake on them. Errrr, isn't it obvious why they flake all the time?! They just don't want to see you, but they don't want to be mean by stating that outright.

 

This happens to me quite often. I'll meet a guy who seems okay. I'm initially interested and will give him my number if he asks for it. Then the msging and calling starts. Usually by that time, I will have decided if I actually want to get to know him or not. If I do, I will pick up/answer back and set up a date. If not, I will ignore the call and msg back later with an excuse not to see him. He will try a few more times and I will make up a few more excuses. Then he will stop trying.

 

That is what I want! If I'm not interested in a guy, I want him to stop contacting me. I can't just tell them the truth because that would be mean. I would feel mean saying "Please stop contacting me. I'm not interested" even if it's the right thing to do. So I flake. I flake every time until they stop trying.

 

So to summarize, girls who flake all the time are not interested. The end.

 

The problem is that it's a huge annoying waste of time. If you're not interested in a guy and decide to flake, you open yourself up to a bunch of contact that you'd honestly rather not receive (calls, texts, etc). And it wastes his time because he could be spending that effort looking into dating someone else.

 

Besides, if you don't plan on seeing this person again, what harm is there in being "mean"? Whether you state it outright or stop responding, you're still rejecting the dude. You may as well save everyone the effort by being upfront and direct -- a simple "I didn't feel what I was looking for/I don't think I am interested in pursuing this but I wish you all the best/etc" is sufficient.

[irc333]

....wanted to add...the scarey part about the OP, is that she thinks the same way the same women that have FLAKED no me....as if WE are the ones with the problem...not HER.

 

I think this is where some of my guy friends come up with the 3 strike rule, call her 3 times, and if she comes up with excuses, flakes, or any other lame behavior....they move on.

 

 

Some women just flake rather abruptly, allowing the guy to pick up on the hint rather quickly.

 

While other women are ENCOURAGING flakes, they come up with an excuse, then when they see you again at a friends house, theysay, "Hey, you haven't called in a while, what happened? We should try to schedule a better time to get together, my schedule has just been so hectic lately"

 

Of course the guy calls again, and she flakes.lol

 

I think some women try to get men to fall for their crap when they bait them.

 

I get some women, when they see me in person, they apologize PROFUSELY for not returning my call, allowing me to let my guard down and think "Well, I guess if she puts in that way and with inflection, perhaps she was busy."

[Untouchable_Fire]

I keep reading threads where guys complain about girls who flake on them. Errrr, isn't it obvious why they flake all the time?! They just don't want to see you, but they don't want to be mean by stating that outright.

 

No, flaking can mean all kinds of different things. It can represent everything from bad timing to complete disinterest.

 

In my experience it's best to be VERY upfront about flakiness. If a girl flakes on you once or twice. Call her to the carpet on it. You will typically find out just where she is at. Do not allow excuses and be very blunt and forceful if need be.

 

Most of the time it's a passive aggressive thing. We need to kick those people around a bit sometimes so they can learn to be honest.

[irc333]

In my experience it's best to be VERY upfront about flakiness. If a girl flakes on you once or twice. Call her to the carpet on it. You will typically find out just where she is at. Do not allow excuses and be very blunt and forceful if need be.

 

 

As muchas I agree with you on this, and depending on the situation, I would call her out on it too.

 

But, doing this might make you out to be a controlling psychopath (at least in HER eyes) so that's the dangerous thing about it.

 

OR....she could look at you and play dumb/innocent and say, "What are you talking about?" and pretend that her behavior is non-existant.

 

I called a woman out on her behaviour and she said,

" I can't stand pushy men, don't talk to me again!"

[hydorclops]

I'm left with the idea that if you ask a woman out and she says no, it means that she's not interested. If she says yes, it means that she is a really nice person, but she's not interested.

[irc333]

I'm left with the idea that if you ask a woman out and she says no, it means that she's not interested. If she says yes, it means that she is a really nice person, but she's not interested.

 

Yeah, even if she agrees to going out with you, she's not interested.

 

IFshe gives you her # number, she's not interest....but just be prepared to recite messages to be left on her voicemail though, because she won't answer.

[mr.dream merchant]

This is the one thing that really shines the light on major flaws in the opposite gender's understand of each other.

 

Women aren't completely honest with us because they're sensitive towards emotions, and are afraid of hurting Men.

 

But what women so often fail to realize is, Men like to be straight forward, right to the point, blunt at times, and appreciate honesty very much (Women as well).

 

If some chick I just met just wants to bang me and move on with her life, well **** honey, say so! I wouldn't be upset or judge you, because you kept it 100% with me, straight up.

 

Same goes for that flaking garbage. If you're not into me, say so. How women think leaving us confused and their interest in us a big mystery as the better option....I mean, that **** is just beyond me. Why wouldn't you stop for a second or two, know and understand Men for one damn minute, and know that it would just make more sense to be honest about the situation...instead of using backwards ass logic, and droppin' subtle clues here and there HOPING that, lol, a guy who's genuinely interested in you isn't going to hope for the best, and stop calling you?

 

Lmao, I'm rolling into tears as I type this ****. I mean, it even looks retarded on screen in text.

 

Point -

 

If you're not interested in someone, ****ing say so you coward. Quit using that feelings **** for an excuse to bait someone's interest in you, to build up your ego. You just met the guy, **** you care about his feelings for?

 

I swear....women boy.....

[Untouchable_Fire]

As muchas I agree with you on this, and depending on the situation, I would call her out on it too.

But, doing this might make you out to be a controlling psychopath (at least in HER eyes) so that's the dangerous thing about it.

OR....she could look at you and play dumb/innocent and say, "What are you talking about?" and pretend that her behavior is non-existant.

I called a woman out on her behaviour and she said,

" I can't stand pushy men, don't talk to me again!"

 

Response "Great because I can't stand gutless cowards and liars." Now who is the better person? For every 1 girl that gets turned off by aggressive behavior...10 more get turned on.

 

Besides... you can't be a total dick when you call them out. It's best to be nice at first. If there is a second flaking... that's when you take the gloves off, because you should be nixing her anyways.

 

The basic point is to let them know that their behavior has made you reevaluate them as a person, and that you are really disappointed that they are not the quality person you had originally believed.

 

I'm continually shocked at how just politely expressing your disapproval of a woman's behavior can make her change course.

 

I'm left with the idea that if you ask a woman out and she says no, it means that she's not interested. If she says yes, it means that she is a really nice person, but she's not interested.

 

She is waiting for you to impress her. Just like the male peacock fans his feathers.

 

Ready your mating displays boys!

[Untouchable_Fire]

Same goes for that flaking garbage. If you're not into me, say so. How women think leaving us confused and their interest in us a big mystery as the better option....I mean, that **** is just beyond me. Why wouldn't you stop for a second or two, know and understand Men for one damn minute, and know that it would just make more sense to be honest about the situation...instead of using backwards ass logic, and droppin' subtle clues here and there HOPING that, lol, a guy who's genuinely interested in you isn't going to hope for the best, and stop calling you?

 

Eh? Do you really think that she is just trying to be nice by flaking? I know some ladies have put that forth in this thread... but it's kind of a lie. I admit that might be part of their logic, but most of it isn't.

 

Fact is that unless you are really disgusting for some reason... she likes the attention your brining her way. She doesn't want to say No to your attention, but she isn't that interested in you personally. So... she throws out confusing signals and strings you along. She gets the constant ego boost of you trying to chase her, and is free to pursue men she finds more to her liking.

[mr.dream merchant]

Eh? Do you really think that she is just trying to be nice by flaking? I know some ladies have put that forth in this thread... but it's kind of a lie. I admit that might be part of their logic, but most of it isn't.

 

Fact is that unless you are really disgusting for some reason... she likes the attention your brining her way. She doesn't want to say No to your attention, but she isn't that interested in you personally. So... she throws out confusing signals and strings you along. She gets the constant ego boost of you trying to chase her, and is free to pursue men she finds more to her liking.

 

Exactly. Point is...all women love attention. In or out of a relationship. Some will put an end to attention right then and there, others will subtlely encourage it...regardless of whether they're with someone or not.

 

Which leads me to another thing, what's up with women who don't tell other men what's up when they hit on her, and she's in a monogamous relationship? That **** pisses me off lol.

[hydorclops]

Honestly I don't think it's about women. I think it's about some people that want to be seen as nice, seen as agreeable. They're people pleasers. It's mostly about appearances and it's always just talk in the moment. It's probably even sincere in the moment.

 

Talk is easy though and it's much harder to be nice than to talk as if you're nice.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I don't understand this concept of "teaching a lesson" to some woman who is a flake, who behaves in a way that is not acceptable to you, and who evidently cares not a whit about you either.

 

If you don't like a woman, or anyone, for that matter - why not just move on?

 

From my personal perspective: say I had behaved badly and flaked, etc., if a guy I'd maybe met once or never decided to "teach me a lesson" by saying something furious like "I can't stand cowardly liars," I would not even have considered what I'd done ... I would just think that the guy was emotionally unstable and be thankful that I'd had little to do with him. I surely would NOT have "learned" anything from such an outburst.

[Left in a Lurch]

Someone makes you meatloaf once and asks how you like it and you say, "It's delicious".

They make it a few days later and you say, "This meatloaf is pretty good".

You send them a text the next day that says, "Thanks again for the meatloaf, MAYBE you can make it again sometime."

They make it again and you say, "Not bad."

 

Are they dumb for thinking you want it again or are you really a POS for leading them on and thinking they can't take a hint?

[loverofloveandstuff]

No, flaking can mean all kinds of different things. It can represent everything from bad timing to complete disinterest.

 

In my experience it's best to be VERY upfront about flakiness. If a girl flakes on you once or twice. Call her to the carpet on it. You will typically find out just where she is at. Do not allow excuses and be very blunt and forceful if need be.

 

Most of the time it's a passive aggressive thing. We need to kick those people around a bit sometimes so they can learn to be honest.

 

 

Has that actually worked for you?

 

If somebody called me out on flakiness I would just ignore them. Chances are I wasn't really all that interested in the first place so I don't care enough to explain myself.

[loverofloveandstuff]

 

If you're not interested in someone, ****ing say so you coward. Quit using that feelings **** for an excuse to bait someone's interest in you, to build up your ego. You just met the guy, **** you care about his feelings for?

 

 

Girls don't flake because they care about the guy's feelings, they flake because it's easier to ignore than confront an awkward situation.

[angielove]

To all those who have said that telling guys outright that I am not interested is nicer and less cowardly than flaking... you are probably right. I agree that I am being selfish by flaking, because I don't want to feel like a mean person or be seen as a mean person. However, I honestly do not want to upset anyone either. In a happy chatty atmosphere where a guy asks for my number, the last thing I want to do is make him feel rejected and make me look like the "bad guy". And so, in a situation where I have to choose between protecting my own feelings and a random stranger's feelings... I will choose my feelings. And I'm sure many others would do the same.

 

Flakiness trumps all other behavior.

 

Thank you Sabali, that is exactly the point I am trying to make. No matter what the variable factors are, this remains true. If she flakes on you, she is not interested.

 

Well just don't flake one too many times less you find yourself become a middle-aged heffer and no guy will ever want to date you anyway.

 

And thank you for the tip Surrealist! Are you suggesting that I will become "a heffer" because I flake on a lot of guys?!

 

If a woman is blowing a guy off, she isn't interested. I doubt many women are sitting around in their old age thinking "If I'd only given that guy a chance, I could be sitting here with a guy I don't really like!"

 

LOL

 

....wanted to add...the scarey part about the OP, is that she thinks the same way the same women that have FLAKED no me....as if WE are the ones with the problem...not HER.

 

Wow. I'm not saying that guys who don't realise this have a problem! I'm trying to get them to realise the reason for flakiness so they do not waste their time.

 

I don't understand this concept of "teaching a lesson" to some woman who is a flake, who behaves in a way that is not acceptable to you, and who evidently cares not a whit about you either. If you don't like a woman, or anyone, for that matter - why not just move on?

 

Agreed! Guys who try to call a girl out on her flakiness just come off as crazy and needy. It makes an awkward situation even more awkward.

 

Oh and one more thing... the people who are getting angry about my post have provided some great examples to illustrate by original point. In fact, all the stories on this thread support the fact that flakiness = disinterest!

[irc333]

I'm trying to get them to realise the reason for flakiness so they do not waste their time.

 

You can try all you want, but it's probably not going to happen.

[Mme. Chaucer]

If a ho flakes on me, I just move onto the next ho, no big thing. Then I ignore the first ho, and usually that makes her wonder why I ain't upset. Then she starts chasing homie. Any dudes out their get that? If I'm actin' all like I ain't upset by it, some hoes love that shyt. Then they come for my giant black cock.

 

Except that you're really a frustrated middle aged white guy with a paunch.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Has that actually worked for you?

If somebody called me out on flakiness I would just ignore them. Chances are I wasn't really all that interested in the first place so I don't care enough to explain myself.

 

Define "worked", my goal is never to just add notches to the bedpost.

 

I've had women that flaked on me several times become extremely interested in a relationship later.

 

Girls don't flake because they care about the guy's feelings, they flake because it's easier to ignore than confront an awkward situation.

 

I'm sure that's part of it too. There isn't just one reason. Many times it's 3 reason's all at once.

 

Anyway... with a guy like me... it's going to get even more awkward by flaking. I'm not just going to let that go... I will push the issue and measure the response.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

Anyway... with a guy like me... it's going to get even more awkward by flaking. I'm not just going to let that go... I will push the issue and measure the response.

 

Please take my word for this: If a girl you are in the very initial stages with is "flaking" on you, she does not care about you or what you think. A pissy outburst will make you more memorable - probably worth some laughs with her girlfriends. The only "lesson" you'll have taught her is that she was smart to ignore you in the first place. Wouldn't it be better to just move on with quiet dignity?

[Untouchable_Fire]

Please take my word for this: If a girl you are in the very initial stages with is "flaking" on you, she does not care about you or what you think. A pissy outburst will make you more memorable - probably worth some laughs with her girlfriends. The only "lesson" you'll have taught her is that she was smart to ignore you in the first place. Wouldn't it be better to just move on with quiet dignity?

 

You are right... a pissy outburst would have that effect. That's why I said earlier you need to choose your words carefully. Always try to do it in a nice but firm way. People almost never look down on you for standing up for yourself.

 

As much as you may want to imagine all flakiness is actually disinterest... that isn't the case. In the case of persistent flakiness despite promises and a clear declaration of interest... Only then does the situation your talking about present itself.

 

In that case, I may choose to quietly fade away, or to ask very bluntly for an explanation.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Except that you're really a frustrated middle aged white guy with a paunch.

 

Why is it always about race with you.

 

You really didn't have to say it. I don't think anybody was being fooled. It is a nice mask to wear, so he can say whatever he pleases.