N0192948 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 (edited) So a quick situation: A girl I met and I hit it off well, maybe too well. Like the second date we spend two days together. We saw each other a few times after that and things were great. We really liked each other. And then. . . She wasn't available anymore. We would text and she always got back to me, we just didn't hang out anymore. I called her out and said something about if she doesn't want to see me anymore she should tell me. We spoke a few days later and she was basically not sure what she wanted, I let her know that I understood (she was 4 months out of a LTR) and told her that she should call me when she figured out what she wanted, if she wanted to see me again . . . It's been a month. I've gone out on two other dates with other girls and I'm assuming she has done the same but I still think about her daily. In the back of my mind I think 6 months from now I may call her if i don't hear from her and am still single (i know that is dangerous and trying not to). What do you all think, would it even be worth it? Would that be pathetic? Thanks. Oh we dated for about one month. Edited December 10, 2010 by N0192948 Forgot
youngskywalker Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 I keep sounding like a broken record in here but I "just went through this" lol. The answer is you need to ditch this girl. Good for you for going one month with no contact and I can relate to the fact that you think about her every day. As far as considering contact in six months I say go for it. Make it a goal to go six months of no contact if it HELPS YOU HEAL! Nothing wrong with leaving the door open and the only way to do that is back off. I have a girl on my mind every day and I have a goal to go no contact for 3 months and then give her a call. During this time I know I can forget about her (because she's something in my future) and what happens is all of a sudden she's out of your mind completely. Done deal. She'll probably never get a call from me. That's how I do it.
9Lives Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 I keep sounding like a broken record in here but I "just went through this" lol. The answer is you need to ditch this girl. Good for you for going one month with no contact and I can relate to the fact that you think about her every day. As far as considering contact in six months I say go for it. Make it a goal to go six months of no contact if it HELPS YOU HEAL! Nothing wrong with leaving the door open and the only way to do that is back off. I have a girl on my mind every day and I have a goal to go no contact for 3 months and then give her a call. During this time I know I can forget about her (because she's something in my future) and what happens is all of a sudden she's out of your mind completely. Done deal. She'll probably never get a call from me. That's how I do it. I agree with you. You have to psychic your mind out. It really works. People leave people like it aint sht now. You just have to realize this and keep it moving. alot of time, it dont have anything to do with you. Just let her go
youngskywalker Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 (edited) alot of time, it dont have anything to do with you. Just let her go This is also important to keep in mind instead of taking break-ups personally. Let THEM take the loss, not you. OP, from what you wrote it wasn't anything that you did, it's not your fault. The loss is hers. Also, I don't think it's pathetic to phone up an old flame and see if you can rekindle something. I've done it before and I'd do it again. I'd advise to wait long enough though (3-6 months sounds good to me). Most importantly don't expect anything to happen because it rarely does. If you're not actually over the girl then don't call because you're setting yourself up for a fall. Normally when I call an ex flame I get one date out of it and then it's gone again. Also, don't text or email. Pick up the phone, small talk for 5 minutes and tell her you're wondering how she's doing and would like to catch up on things over a drink. If she balks then that's it. DONE. Edited December 10, 2010 by youngskywalker
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