isdn00789 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 So... the subject of this was not supposed to remain "asdfjklhasdf", but I wanted to see the preview because it is easier to proof read, and unfortunately you can't do that without a subject. Obviously, I forgot to change it. How emberassing. I'm 21 years old (almost 22 at this point). I haven't been on date (at least nothing I considered a date) since I was 18. I can honestly say that I don't NEED someone to feel complete, but I do feel lonely, and I would really like to meet someone. I've tried online dating sites, but I can't seem to find anyone I'm interested in (at least not anyone who lives within a reasonable distance). I'm not physically attracted to most people I see, and the few who remain rarely meet my other expectations (i.e., doesn't smoke or do other drugs, doesn't drink very much, has similar interests, etc.) On a slight tangent: I used to worry a lot about my looks, but now, although I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world, I feel like I'm pretty attractive. According to my family and friends, lots of girls are interested in me, and are apparently checking me out all the time. I hardly ever notice this myself, but I'd like to believe it is true. With that in mind, I'd like the opinions of some objective outsiders: How attractive am I? Do you think girls really are looking at me? (I won't leave these links up long to help preserve my anonymity) http://i1239.photobucket.com/albums/ff504/isdn00789/40381_705371458124_34319623_40135110_567525_n.jpg http://i1239.photobucket.com/albums/ff504/isdn00789/n34319623_35432828_6594.jpg And to anyone who feels the need to tell me I just need to be confident, please recall that I said I feel that I'm pretty attractive. I'd just like to know if the image I'm getting from friends/family is blown out of proportion. Anyway... back to the main subject: The main problem I have now is that I'm essentially done with my current college career, and I have no idea where to go to meet people (I do plan to start graduate school soon, but I haven't yet). Obviously, you can meet new people anywhere. When you go shopping, out to eat, etc., but the people you meet there are generally out doing the same thing, not looking to meet new people. I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, and butting into someone's personal business is not something I'm particularly apt to do. I need something that will give me at least a small reason to start a conversation. I work in a small office, so the opportunity of meeting new people at/through work is very limited. And unfortunately, it seems that none of my friends are ever interested in going out to do things, so if I go out, it is generally alone. I don't drink, and I'm not interested in drinking. I don't particularly have a problem with people who do drink (although, it can be extreme for some), but bars and other scenes like that are not for me. What recommendations do you have? Where can I go, by myself, where I'll likely find other people, preferably also by themselves, who might be more open to meeting someone new, or at least where starting a conversation might be a little bit easier. Please keep in mind I'm not just thinking of dates. Even finding some other friends who might take me along when they go out to do other social things would be fantastic. Things I have thought about: Joining a gym... It wouldn't hurt to build a little muscle if nothing else. The only problem is that I'm not sure if I'll ever do this by myself. Find some local interest groups to join. (I literally can't find any... Where can I look other than craigslist... there is nothing there in my area) Taking a cooking class, a dancing class, or some other kind of class (again... where do I look to find something like this, I can't find anything. I'd be particularly interested in the cooking class) Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this. I look forward to seeing your suggestions.
Green Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 I think you can beat meeting girls while doing your every day activities. Yes the girl in line infront of you at the post office is there to mail a package or get the forms needed to file for a passport... but that doesn't matter you saw her and you like her and she is right infront of you in a line of about 4 people. that gives you atleast a moment to chat her up and then flirt.. see if she seems to be enjoying the flirting... heck if you are enjoying the flirting and arn't sure what she feels JUST ASK HER OUT... let the people in line here you ask her out... if you say it to quiet she'll think you are a creep... heck she'll think you are a creep for just asking her out... but DO IT ANYWAYS... because all it takes is for ONE GIRL to say yes and you have a DATE... and then once you start getting dates it won't be long till you find some one YOU LIKE and WHO LIKES YOU BACK. ANd talking about how you met in line at the post office and how she thought you were a creep but still found you cute and how you just saw her and found her pretty so you knew you needed to try is ROMANTIC... so stop cageing yourself. Basicly BE THE BEST VERSION of YOU. Which DOES NOT INCLUDE ONLINE DATING. Yes Take a cooking class or martial arts class or join a gym if you want to. I actualy recomend learning to dance also. Danicing is by far the funnest way to meet women. Remember ALWAYS ALWAYS KISS a girl on the lips before the date is over. you need to flirt/touch/kiss. If the entire date happened wiht out a kiss and you are saying goodbye go in for the hug and then KISS them. DONT ASK just kiss. If yo have to say something say "I really want to kiss you" but better to just do it. Oh and you look fine but you knew that you really shouldn't post pics of urself questioning if something may be wrong with you. Just strive to be the healthies you that you can be. iF that means lifting weights then lift some. I personaly did HORIBLE with women all through HS and COLLEGE but then found the courage to face rejection after I graduated. Once I simply started asking women out and stopped being afraid to touch/kiss them it was all pretty EASY.
Author isdn00789 Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 Green, First all, thanks for your input. I guess part of the problem is I don't really have many 'every day' activities. I go shopping for a little bit of food about once a week, but I live alone, so I don't need much, and I'm not there long. Occasionally I'll go out to eat, but not very often. Basically, going to stores just to look at things isn't for me, and I typically don't do much shopping that isn't actually necessary, so I end up home most of the time. Lately I've been trying to force myself to go out more frequently, but it seems like everything is always dead, and I get discouraged. Even when I go to the local mall, I don't see very many people. Maybe it is partially because of where I live, or maybe it is just when I'm going, but I guess the only thing I can do is continue my effort.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Typically, I meet new people through friends. Other times, it's at school or at clubs. Have you thought about joining a community thing? Like community theatre? I used to know a guy who was in a dance class and he met a lot of people. Although, he did say most of his friends work at a bar/restaurant place he frequents. Don't bother trying to meet girls at the gym or at a mall. Chances are you can make a good hand by handing out your numbers, but the likely chances of them calling you back are zero.
Author isdn00789 Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 xpaperxcutx, Thanks for your reply. I never seem to meet anyone new through my friends. As I said, they don't ever seem to go want to go out, and anytime we do hang out, it always just us... no one new. Unfortunately, school is pretty much non-existent for me now. I wasted that opportunity. And as far as clubs go, I've never been to one, I'm not sure I'm interested, and I feel like it would be weird to go alone. Don't people usually go in groups? I have thought about community stuff, but I honestly don't know where to look to find it. That is part of the reason I posted. Where can I find out about these kind of things?
Green Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 xpaperxcutx, Thanks for your reply. I never seem to meet anyone new through my friends. As I said, they don't ever seem to go want to go out, and anytime we do hang out, it always just us... no one new. Unfortunately, school is pretty much non-existent for me now. I wasted that opportunity. And as far as clubs go, I've never been to one, I'm not sure I'm interested, and I feel like it would be weird to go alone. Don't people usually go in groups? I have thought about community stuff, but I honestly don't know where to look to find it. That is part of the reason I posted. Where can I find out about these kind of things? I went to my cities website and already found a 10 week pottery program that only cost 45$ and caters to busy schedules. You just find something fun YOU LIKE and you do it. The library is a good place to get comunity info. You could call your library and say you want information on groups. There might be a creative writing group ect. As for joining a sports team your local gym should have leagues for basket ball, raquet ball and other things. If bowling is your thing call the bowling alley. The more you get out of your house the more chance you will have at getting a gf. Plus making a good friend who likes doing things with you like watching movies at the theatre will also put you in more touch with the public. The key is walking up to, flirting with, and then ASKING OUT the pretty women you encounter in your every day life. The more you leave your house the more chance you will have at seeing pretty women. Where I live you can't take a sht with out seeing a babe.
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