Tkay Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 Oi! It's me again. My question is: Is it anything close to smart or normal to flirt with a girl you don't really like? There's this girl interested in me, but I think she's funny and stuff but not attractive. She often brings up subjects like kissing me, one night stands and stuff. I just know I could kiss her if i want to, and I really want to kiss a girl, but I just don't think she's attractive. Also a female friend said i shouldnt kiss her bcos i could do better etc. What do you think. Should I kiss (or something else..) with her? I often dance very close with her at parties thx.
jenny Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 flirt. don't kiss. don't feign interest; why would you want to? do not do things that will not contribue to your own pleasure and might contribute to someone else's pain.
Author Tkay Posted March 13, 2004 Author Posted March 13, 2004 Originally posted by jenny flirt. don't kiss. don't feign interest; why would you want to? do not do things that will not contribue to your own pleasure and might contribute to someone else's pain. I AM Flirting with her. And her "interest" is also just for fun (no pain involved). I would like to kiss her but I think I will feel desperate or something.
longlegzs80 Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 Okay, I am going to be as blunt as I can be. You should not lead this girl on in thinking that you want to kiss her or that you like in if you don't find her attractive. Change things around abit where she did not find you so attractive and you found her really hot and wanted to kiss her. Being lead on in thinking that someone is starting to like you when really they are not into you one bit sounds very immature and you should seriously let her know how you feel or don't give her signs that you are interested when really you find her to be nasty. Just my 2 cents.
Author Tkay Posted March 13, 2004 Author Posted March 13, 2004 Originally posted by longlegzs80 Okay, I am going to be as blunt as I can be. Your an ass. You should not lead this girl on in thinking that you want to kiss her or that you like in if you don't find her attractive. Change things around abit where she did not find you so attractive and you found her really hot and wanted to kiss her. Being lead on in thinking that someone is starting to like you when really they are not into you one bit sounds very immature and you should seriously let her know how you feel or don't give her signs that you are interested when really you find her to be nasty. Just my 2 cents. Hmm, You're absolutely right I guess, but I just don't know what I want. Normally I wouldn't mess with a girl if she had feelings for me, but in this case, she just wants to have fun. I like dancing with her and stuff, and I know she doesn't mean it serious.. I think she's thinking the exact same thing as I am. Flirting never hurt anyone, did it?
jenny Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 i think it's quite possible she truly likes you, and i think it's quite possible that you are getting ego-off on her desire. cut it out. this is not flirting. if you kiss her, you are (in most young girls' minds) proclaiming that you want to have a relationship with her.
Author Tkay Posted March 13, 2004 Author Posted March 13, 2004 Originally posted by jenny i love longlegz for saying that you are an ass. i think it's quite possible she truly likes you, and i think it's quite possible that you are getting ego-off on her desire. cut it out. this is not flirting. if you kiss her, you are (im most young girls' minds) proclaiming that you want to have a relationship with her. Ok, I think this needs some additional info. She already has a relationship (this just made it worse didn't it) She keeps giving hints she wants to kiss just for fun (saying it actually) I already told her I don't have feelings for her and we're just flirting for fun.
longlegzs80 Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 I agree with you that flirting don't hurt, but you need to see what she wants from you as far as where she wants this to go. She might be head over heals for you and want the kissing and want more and want the relationship. So, I think the best way to approach this is if you come out and talk to her about what kinda feelings she has for you. Because if this keeps going on and you are not attracted to her and you get the kissing and the sex and whatever you want, she will be so heart broken when she finds out that you find her unattractive whether she hears it from one of her friends or your friends or whatever it maybe. Just play it safe and don't lead her on. Be upfront, that is what a real man would do.
longlegzs80 Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 Well if she is in a relationship, why you messing with her emotions. Who cares if she wants a kiss or wants something more. If her boyfriend ever finds out, you are in it for a real ass kickin. Be prepared to run. And I agree with Jenny. It is obvious you are in it for the ego thing. Stop that right now, because it will come back and kick you in the ass when you find a girl and you are so hot and heated with her, but she don't find you attractive and she is using this whole thing to give her ego a boost. Think about it.
Author Tkay Posted March 13, 2004 Author Posted March 13, 2004 Originally posted by longlegzs80 And I agree with Jenny. It is obvious you are in it for the ego thing. Stop that right now, because it will come back and kick you in the ass when you find a girl and you are so hot and heated with her, but she don't find you attractive and she is using this whole thing to give her ego a boost. Its funny U tell this. 2 girls have done it in the past month with me. I'm getting kind of sick of it, so i felt like doing it myself.
longlegzs80 Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 I am not sure this chick is someone you want to be doing that with. But, if I were you and you want to be a man, don't play games and make your feelings be real to people you are interested in or not. Don't lead anyone on because as you know it sucks. So, dust it off with your past bad experiences and move on. And when you make decisions on who to flirt with or not, know that the other person has feelings too and would not want to be lead on in anyway.
monkey00 Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 why are you gonna string her along when you have no feelings for her?? it's almost like a female friend, i dont find her physically attractive, but im cool with her and like to chat and do things together...we can have fun w/o being a couple. if your not interested in her, stop sending her signals. make a friend out of her...it's better than lying to her right? plus if you lead her on then she finds out u did it purposely, she WILL spread rumors about u to other chicks which will harm your future interactions with girls. dont do it dude. For once put yoursel in her shoes. this is how a hot chick looks at you: You like her, flirt w/her and wanna kiss her...but* she's not physically into you, but likes you as a person. How would you like it if she lead you on and played games and messed with your emotions?
Author Tkay Posted March 13, 2004 Author Posted March 13, 2004 I'm actually doubting if I have feelings for her. I really don't know She just asked me to come with her to the cinema sometime... I said dunno maybe (in a tone that i dont care) I hope she gets the message. Will tell her again sometime. Bah :-/ this sux :-/ why arent any girls I like interested in me
Tony T Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 It's simply wrong and serves no useful purpose to flirt or otherwise lead a lady on for whom you have no attraction and by your own admission in your post you do not like. Why would you want to waste your time? I have to wonder about your state of sobriety if you are even considering kissing this girl. For what reason would you do that when there are so many ladies you may be attracted to elsewhere???
Author Tkay Posted March 13, 2004 Author Posted March 13, 2004 Originally posted by Tony It's simply wrong and serves no useful purpose to flirt or otherwise lead a lady on for whom you have no attraction and by your own admission in your post you do not like. Why would you want to waste your time? I have absolutely no idea, I think just because I want to kiss a girl (I'm 18 and I've never kissed.)
Tony T Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 "I have absolutely no idea, I think just because I want to kiss a girl (I'm 18 and I've never kissed.)" I don't want to go back and forth with you and I'm not your daddy so I don't want to start teaching you morals. But simply put, it is dishonest and an outright lie of the highest magnitude to use a lady you don't like as a test pilot for your love life. A kiss is a special thing that should be delivered to someone for whom you have respect and at least a possibility of feelings at some point. Don't start your dating life off with fraud and lies. Go find a girl you like and then give her all the lips you've got. Meanwhile, seek out a responsible adult to give you the moral training you require in order to conduct relationships that won't backfire on you. Misleading people, doing things you don't want to do, lying, cheating, hurting other's feelings, messing with people's heads, will get you in a lot of trouble. I'm sorry your parents didn't get into this with you but they were probably too busy. Go find somebody whose got some time to teach you this stuff. Meanwhile, forget kissing this girl...unless you develop feelings for her. This is my final post on the subject. I'm feeling a little sick. Parents used to teach this stuff as a normal part of child rearing. Many don't anymore and it pissses the hell out of me. (No reflection on your parents, I'm sure they did the best they could and probably had no earthly idea you would contemplate such a fraudulent act in the name of a "test" kiss.)
Author Tkay Posted March 13, 2004 Author Posted March 13, 2004 Actually I'm well-educated and my parents would probably beat me to death for even asking this. (exactly the reason why I'm posting it here and not asking them ) I'll just tell her face2face tonight. (She just said on MSN I'm coming to ur house tonight :/) that I don't have feelings for her or anything. Just wondering what to do when she says "no we're just flirting for fun silly"
Tony T Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 "Just wondering what to do when she says "no we're just flirting for fun silly"" Tell her you feel it's most proper that you find a girl with whom you can flirt FOR REAL, in a scincere way, instead of just for fun. Flirting or any other behavior should always be a sincere indication of your feelings. Frankly, I don't see how a sane human can flirt with somebody for whom they feel no attraction but I'm open minded that there's a lot of crazy stuff out there. Meanwhile, I hope you will consider listening to the teachings of your parents and not come to the Internet to find people who will encourage you to go against what they have taught. If I ever had kids who did that....it would break me down forever.....
Author Tkay Posted March 13, 2004 Author Posted March 13, 2004 Originally posted by Tony "Just wondering what to do when she says "no we're just flirting for fun silly"" Tell her you feel it's most proper that you find a girl with whom you can flirt FOR REAL, in a scincere way, instead of just for fun. Flirting or any other behavior should always be a sincere indication of your feelings. Frankly, I don't see how a sane human can flirt with somebody for whom they feel no attraction but I'm open minded that there's a lot of crazy stuff out there. >>>> This is the stuff that I believed all my life. Find the right girl, have your first kiss with her, but lately I've been let down too much by girls to still believe it. But I guess i should just move on. Meanwhile, I hope you will consider listening to the teachings of your parents and not come to the Internet to find people who will encourage you to go against what they have taught. If I ever had kids who did that....it would break me down forever..... >>>> Lol, So true ps:thx
moimeme Posted March 13, 2004 Posted March 13, 2004 I'm back to the whole issue of her boyfriend. She already has a relationship (this just made it worse didn't it) I don't care how much she wants you to flirt with her or kiss her, she has a BOYFRIEND who would be hurt to know that some other guy is kissing her. Even if you were madly in love with her, kissing her while she is in another relationship would be wrong. Yes, it's morally wrong to use someone, but it's even worse IMHO to help some guy's gf cheat on him. Your parents would be appalled that you'd consider that, I assure you.
Author Tkay Posted March 15, 2004 Author Posted March 15, 2004 @ the admin who renamed topic: can you blame me? Oh PS, for everyone who cares what happened. She was actually ego-boosting herself because she was having problems in her relationship, so actually she was using me, not the other way around. Again, normally I would be hurt, luckily for me I was just flirting too. Damn, why are girls so weird! My ex also keeps saying sweet stuff like i miss u but actually just to play around with me. argh , im losing it.
Author Tkay Posted March 20, 2004 Author Posted March 20, 2004 hmmm went to a bar last night where the girl & her friends always hang out looked like a big orgy. i wasnt a part of it tough, i had something like "im not goin to fall that low, i can do better" let's hope i was right.
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