9Lives Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Well then is it REALLY REALLY dating? Im just trying to not get played here. I am meeting guys who will asked me for my phone number, want to take me out, but tell me before we even get to know each other....I dont want a relationship. Well, what do you want? Dating is for getting to know each other to see if we want to go further or not. Whats up with this? Im serious, I dont get it. What do you want then?
Author 9Lives Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 Well maybe they are looking for friends I guess cause you aint getting no a$$ then
khria Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Interesting. I think the choice depends on what you want. If you're looking for a relationship, then I'd *date* people who are also looking for the same thing and can be up front from the get go. But if you're looking for just meeting people, or dating for it's own sake (which, sure, some people prefer), then that happens too. If you're getting this answer from a specific person, then, they're probably not that sure about going further yet.
carhill Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Generally, hetero people who 'date' without interest in a LTR or marriage just want to spend time socializing with opposite gender and get their sexual and/or emotional 'needs' fed. In today's equal opportunity world, those needs don't necessarily run along gender lines, with the emergent common denominator apparently being sexual validation. When I look around the house, comparing the old and dear graniteware coffee urn, which mom's remains now lay within, to all the plastic 'recyclable' things which are here today and gone tomorrow, I'm seeing interpersonal relationships being increasingly recyclable and less old and dear. Perhaps it's signs of the times. For many, it appears to be satisfying. For myself, it's another path to accept but not walk. The lesson is in acceptance. These men are supplying really good information early-on about their path. It's up to you to accept it. Good luck
Author 9Lives Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 Interesting. I think the choice depends on what you want. If you're looking for a relationship, then I'd *date* people who are also looking for the same thing and can be up front from the get go. But if you're looking for just meeting people, or dating for it's own sake (which, sure, some people prefer), then that happens too. If you're getting this answer from a specific person, then, they're probably not that sure about going further yet. okay. Im just hearing this quite a bit here lately. They are very attracted to me so they say. Im that Im having a problem with it. I just want to make sure I am understand whats up with this. It seems like they say that but then they want sex or relationship benefits. Kinda wierd
kdark Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 okay. Im just hearing this quite a bit here lately. They are very attracted to me so they say. Im that Im having a problem with it. I just want to make sure I am understand whats up with this. It seems like they say that but then they want sex or relationship benefits. Kinda wierd Actions speak louder than words.
TaraMaiden Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 ..... I am meeting guys who will asked me for my phone number, want to take me out, but tell me before we even get to know each other....I dont want a relationship. In which case, I really hope you are actually asking them this: Well, what do you want? Dating is for getting to know each other to see if we want to go further or not. Whats up with this? Im serious, I dont get it. What do you want then? And adding, .... And I hope it's not sex.... because if you want to date, but not commit to a relationship, you're not getting to use my body for kicks, just so's you can satisfy your little one-eyed trouser-friend!
youngskywalker Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 (edited) I've said the same thing. Reasons are: 1. I'm not physically attracted to the girl but admire her and want her companionship. 2. I like the girl but know we wouldn't be compatible in a LTR relationship. At the same time I think she's really hot and would like to have a fling. 3. I think she's the best thing since sliced bread and don't want to take things too fast. I think she's worth investing time and effort into. IMO the best way for you to get around this is go out with a guy on 2-3 dates then back off and see if he comes after you. If he does be upfront with him that you're only looking for a relationship. If he gives you the "friends" thing at that point then you know he isn't serious. In doing this you can easily take care of points 1 and 2. Edited December 9, 2010 by youngskywalker
Author 9Lives Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 And I hope it's not sex.... because if you want to date, but not commit to a relationship, you're not getting to use my body for kicks, just so's you can satisfy your little one-eyed trouser-friend! That is so funny. Yes, it must be about the "little" one eyed friend down there...LOL!!!
Author 9Lives Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 I've said the same thing. Reasons are: 1. I'm not physically attracted to the girl but admire her and want her companionship. 2. I like the girl but know we wouldn't be compatible in a LTR relationship. At the same time I think she's really hot and would like to have a fling. 3. I think she's the best thing since sliced bread and don't want to take things too fast. I think she's worth investing time and effort into. IMO the best way for you to get around this is go out with a guy on 2-3 dates then back off and see if he comes after you. If he does be upfront with him that you're only looking for a relationship. If he gives you the "friends" thing at that point then you know he isn't serious. In doing this you can easily take care of points 1 and 2. Great Strategy dude!!! Thank you. Appreciate ya!
Author 9Lives Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 Actions speak louder than words. No..not really in these cases. Thats where confusion sets in
pandagirl Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 i dated one guy in particular, who put on all the airs of wanting me as his gf, but had no interest in it at all. i still keep in casual contact with him, and since me, he's dated a girl for almost 10 months, and then another for 5 months, but he's quick to say: "But, they weren't my girlfriend."
112233 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 i dated one guy in particular, who put on all the airs of wanting me as his gf, but had no interest in it at all. i still keep in casual contact with him, and since me, he's dated a girl for almost 10 months, and then another for 5 months, but he's quick to say: "But, they weren't my girlfriend." I also multi-date, but it's sort of disingenuous to say they are not girlfriends.
pandagirl Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I also multi-date, but it's sort of disingenuous to say they are not girlfriends. He would usually just let things go as far as he could without "having the talk." As in, he never would bring up a relationship talk, and if they didn't, he wasn't either. But he'd even go on weekend trips and vacation with one of the girls. But as soon as the girl asked about their relationship status, he'd say he wasn't ready for a relationship, and end it there.
fishtaco Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Some women do the same thing. In fact, if they tell you upfront, at least they're being honest. Many people, man and women, would just string you along. Different people want different things at different points of their lives. If it's not a match, it's not "the wrong thing to do", it's just not a match, and you just have to let that go.
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