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Why do people you date sometimes go back to their ex???

wonderwhy1

By wonderwhy1
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wonderwhy1 Member

wonderwhy1

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Even if you had a geat relationship but maybe began to fight?? My ex and I were together for 4 or 5 months and living together. Suddenly she began talking to her ex again behind my back and low and behold are noew back together and it sucks!!! We even said I love you to each other. So why in the world do people go back??/

qinboxmail Established Member

qinboxmail

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Even if you had a geat relationship but maybe began to fight?? My ex and I were together for 4 or 5 months and living together. Suddenly she began talking to her ex again behind my back and low and behold are noew back together and it sucks!!! We even said I love you to each other. So why in the world do people go back??/

 

Some people can't get their head straight. What can you do but to move on ?

youngskywalker Established Member

youngskywalker

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Even if you had a geat relationship but maybe began to fight?? My ex and I were together for 4 or 5 months and living together. Suddenly she began talking to her ex again behind my back and low and behold are noew back together and it sucks!!! We even said I love you to each other. So why in the world do people go back??/

 

Because they compare them to you and take for granted the good qualities that you have and at the same time forget how much their ex was a *****.

 

The grass is always greener on the other side to some people.

 

After a LTR breakup the best chance you have to getting your ex back is if they start dating someone else right away. Rebounds have a low rate of success. They'll miss what they had and come back looking for a second chance. With people like this it's best to let them go.

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wonderwhy1 Member

wonderwhy1

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What sucks the most is that all you read on LS is how people never get their exes back. I guess that guy got lucky. I feel like driving to his house or something to get her back!!! They were together 3 years I guess. What I was wondering though is why after 6 months of them being broken up does she want to goback with him-IT"S BEEN 6 MONTHS!!! Anybody else done this?? Why??

irc333 Established Member

irc333

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Even if you had a geat relationship but maybe began to fight?? My ex and I were together for 4 or 5 months and living together. Suddenly she began talking to her ex again behind my back and low and behold are noew back together and it sucks!!! We even said I love you to each other. So why in the world do people go back??/

 

It's pretty much an act of desperation. They get tired of dating NEW people, and go back to what they're most familiar with.

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wonderwhy1 Member

wonderwhy1

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We weren't really dating we were beyond that we were living together like a married couple almost. I figured I had her all locked up for good. Do woman go back to their exes??? I really thought they never did, well according to Loveshack they don't

youngskywalker Established Member

youngskywalker

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What sucks the most is that all you read on LS is how people never get their exes back. I guess that guy got lucky. I feel like driving to his house or something to get her back!!! They were together 3 years I guess. What I was wondering though is why after 6 months of them being broken up does she want to goback with him-IT"S BEEN 6 MONTHS!!! Anybody else done this?? Why??

 

I think what you're missing about people getting their ex's back is the process of which they go about doing it. When we feel hurt or like we lost love we start to react in ways that push the ex further and further from us. I think most LTR's can be healed and put back together but in the process there are a lot of mistakes made. If you want to get this girl back you need to move on with your life, forget her, and move on as a person. Do the same thing the other guy did. Sounds contrary I know, but it's the truth. There is nothing you can do at this point.

 

I'm willing to bet the guy that your ex got back with didn't do anything to get her back. No love notes, no contact ect. Truth is, she went back to him on her own free will.

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slownumbers81 Member

slownumbers81

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That sucks, I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you.. I'm sure your ex cared about you, but it sounds like she was not fully over her ex. Although 6 months ago seems like a long time, it's not that long for a 3 year relationship. I've heard it often takes half the time you dated to fully get over someone (so half of 3 years = 1 and a half years).

 

Anyway, breakups are had, especially if you lived together! Hang in there, this too shall pass and everything will be okay... just remember that.

Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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I personally think it's because realized she will never be loved the way she was loved by her ex (regardless the problems) and she needed to date someone new to realize that.

 

By loved I mean the way she was treated, among other things. What I don't understand though is that if you dump someone, then you should know 100% that you want to do it. It's not fair to run back and forth between people.

 

If SHE was dumped however, then maybe she went back because her ex got jealous that she "moved on" with you, and maybe you were a rebound.

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wonderwhy1 Member

wonderwhy1

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I guess we had been fighting a LOT and I did say some things in the heat of the moment that I wished I didn't. It's weird tough because we made a huge production about being together all over..Like of course on FB, to all of our MUTUAL friends, our families-everything really and now she's back to him...It just seems like she went back to him AGAINST all odds. One poster was right though-he didn't chase her down and beg, he just sort of told her that he loved her and walked away..I on the other hand have and wished I didn't!!! I almost think she wanted him to chase her but I know he didn't..It's just crazy to me because all I've read on here is how woman NEVER go back to their ex-especially afetr 6 months!

pandagirl Established Member

pandagirl

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The truth is, she probably was never over him. I'm sure she did care about you, but her heart never really let go of her ex.

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wonderwhy1 Member

wonderwhy1

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Six months later though?? I think they have been broken up for closer to 7 months now...Wouldn't most ladies forget about them by then??

BlueRidgeMTs Established Member

BlueRidgeMTs

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Six months later though?? I think they have been broken up for closer to 7 months now...Wouldn't most ladies forget about them by then??

 

Nope...not if your love for them was really true and deep. I had an ex that I would have went back to after TEN YEARS, never mind 6 months. Please..6 months is nothing. With this ex im talking about, it took me a year to even be able to look at him without feeling pain.

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wonderwhy1 Member

wonderwhy1

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Oh...We were so close and like I said made our relationship very very public so I sort of figured that was that.....It's so weird because going back on everything you've said on FB, to our families, our friends you know. I would think she would feel so stupid to go against everything like that!!! Anyone else went back after all this time or even know of someone who has?

pandagirl Established Member

pandagirl

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Six months later though?? I think they have been broken up for closer to 7 months now...Wouldn't most ladies forget about them by then??

 

Stop obsessing about "six months" -- it really isn't a very large amount of time. And, no, you don't forget people you deeply loved.

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wonderwhy1 Member

wonderwhy1

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Ok I will...But has anyone out there done what she has/ Or has anyone out there wanted to go back even though they didn't??

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wonderwhy1 Member

wonderwhy1

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Anybody else have an opinion?? In my example we were dating for 6 months and living together for the same amount of time pretty much and got a new place together-and now back to that guy!?!?! I just don't get it or why

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Hey, date my exW. You can have my ironclad guarantee that she will never be getting back with her ex ;)

 

People do what they do. Best thing I've found is to accept it and move on. The single healthiest lesson I learned is to enjoy a full life and put no one person on any sort of pedestal. Love deeply but not unhealthily. People change, grow and die. Enjoy them while they're here and accept when they're gone.

 

Taking two years off from relationships after separating has been the absolute best therapy I could imagine. No thoughts of my exW and no desire for validation from women. Balance. Pedestals destroyed. Good luck :)

amagordos Established Member

amagordos

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i'm sorry that happened to you. That really sucks, all i can say is that, you need to move on. Some things just don't make sense and if you try to understand why, you will only get more confused and hurt. This girl obviously still had feelings for her ex and there is nothing you could do about it but move on. Break ups are hard, especially when you didn't see them coming. Take your time to grieve the breakup. First you'll be in denial, then you'll be angry, and later comes acceptance. The acceptance part is the hardest for sure, because it could take awhile. Good luck

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