ResetInput Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Ok its the first time in my life i have to say im getting hopeless. The constant rollercoaster of melancholy, depression and just pure hate is driving me insane. I am constantly changing my mind as to what i think about my ordeal with my "ex" (2 weeks ago - read story here ). One moment im feeling just furious because of the quick and out of the blue "dumpage", then i feel just uncontrollable sorrow. Its constantly changing and when i want to sleep, im literally begging my brain to stop thinking about this ****. One moment i feel like its completely over with her, another moment i just want to call her for a closure... I tried working out, going out with friends etc. but i just cant ignore that constant ugly feeling in my stomach (its constantly reminding me). I know its still only 1 week, but is it normal to be so damn intense? Thanks in advance
strangeways Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I know its still only 1 week, but is it normal to be so damn intense? Thanks in advance Yep. We've all been there and it's a b***h. Bad news is that it'll probably get worse before it gets better. Goods news it that it does get better. I've been 2.5 months of NC and 3 months out of the relationship and I still get some of those feelings you describe but a lot less intensely and I've learnt that it passes pretty quickly. I no longer CONSTANTLY think about her. I sleep properly and eat properly. your'e doing the right things by keeping busy but I found that time is the key. Not much you can do about it I'm afraid. I also found refelcting on the relationship helped. Writing pros and cons lists etc. After that I went into a sort of prolonged period of self reflection and this was the most important part for me. It's when I started focusing on me rather than her. This is when you start learning the lessons. Took me 2 or 3 weeks of NC before I could start doing this. NC allowed me to be able to look at things rationally. Best advice STAY NC. It's tough, but if you use your time wisely you'll come out of it and have a bigger and better heart because of it and be ready for the next adventure.
YellowShark Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I know its still only 1 week, but is it normal to be so damn intense? Thanks in advance YES! It is normal after only one week. The intensity shall fade with time. The longer the relationship was... the longer it will take to heal. That's just normal. Just try to stay busy, and when those moments of melancholy hit, embrace it, and then move on. It only means you are human! AND STAY NC. Don't keep reopening the wound. That's the best thing you can do to heal quickly. Best of luck.
homebrew Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Trust me, you are not alone! We ALL have gone through exactly what you are describing! Just know that even though it seems like it isn't possible... It does get better! Like the other poster said, it will more than likely get worse before it does get better. Good news though... You have US to help you through. Keep posting and read through all the various threads and forums for clues, answers and solutions to whatever you are thinking / feeling at the moment. There are thousands of them and you will gather a lot of knowledge and understanding which should help you cope with it. NOTE: DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKES LIKE THE REST OF US. DON'T GO BEGGING!!!! BE STRONG AND WALK AWAY PROUD!!!!!! If you ever want your EX back... What you do now is very important. Go find out what to do and what NOT TO DO!
SimonSerenade Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 It's been 4 months since I got dumped by my ex of 3 years, I was also torn between hate and love, Anger at her for doing what she did when she easily tossed me aside and sorrow at the love I had lost, In the first 2 months I was really really bad, Couldn't eat or sleep or anything, My life just didn't feel worth living, Half the time I felt like putting a bullet through my head just to end it all as the pain was really that intense, We all go through it but it gets better, The abandonment and knowing your not a part of each other's lives any more pretty much kills me inside still but that was her decision and it'll be her decision to regret one day, Don't make my mistake and beg for 6 weeks on end then be her friend for a following 4 weeks, I'm now into major no contact, She's contacted me twice since, I wrote her a letter which gave me closure as she just ended it out of the blue on the phone and never really gave me any kind words to be departed with, She was a selfish one indeed but I can walk away proudly knowing I gave it my all and was far from selfish where my feelings and generosity is concerned, Time to live your life mate and get on with things.
Author ResetInput Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 Thanks for the replies guys. This forum really helped me alot to understand some things. It shows how love becomes a game sooner or later...its kinda sad...
Author ResetInput Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 Ok this is it...the biggest blow in my life...I just cant handle this properly right now. I sent her an honest email about how i felt, as it was considered a pause or something. It wasnt a begging email or anything like that, just pure honesty. 1 hour later, shes listed in a relationship with his guy...
Surfer203 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 F*** her dude. Move on. I am sick of women having this much affect on our lives. After a month and a half of my wife leaving me, I am starting to feel better. You will feel better too - it takes some time.
Author ResetInput Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 Another update...things just got so suprising i cant even believe it...She just replied saying: I was just thinking the same thing, i was stupid because i did this, it wasnt worth it, it wasnt supposed to be like this...i want to see you now!" All i can say is holy ****...
strangeways Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Another update...things just got so suprising i cant even believe it...She just replied saying: I was just thinking the same thing, i was stupid because i did this, it wasnt worth it, it wasnt supposed to be like this...i want to see you now!" All i can say is holy ****... So, what did you do?
Author ResetInput Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 We had an honest, intense conversation about it. It looks like she knows she blew it hard...I think its obvious she needed this email from me, she needed reassurance i guess. It feels like she practically ran back to me. We are going to meet next week when she comes back. I still cant believe what happened in a span of 1 hour...Going from ultimate desperation to pure excitement. It feels like in a movie. We ll see what happens next...
Author ResetInput Posted December 13, 2010 Author Posted December 13, 2010 Update: Went NC after she said she ll contact me this week to figure this situation out. I'm not even sure she ll do it anymore. Its been 3 days and its driving me insane. I just want this to stop. I give her 1 week time to contact me, after that i ll cancel her out of my life permanently...
dng Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 Oh boy. Believe me when I say this: This type of women is out there. I ran into a bunch of guys here with the same story. Ex contacting all the time, regretting, wanting to come back, while seeing a guy on the side. Your relationship is over, she doesn't mean it. She's scared of a new life that is just beginning for her, insecure because her ego is bruised too. The minute there's a minor, minor setback with the new guy, they come back running. Notice that it's never now, its always in a few days, later.. Because she isn't sure. Then something else will happen and you won't hear from her, until you do. At this point, she does NOT realize how much she can hurt you. Cut your losses and go NC, make sure she cannot contact you. Let me assure you of this, if you don't she will make you sink lower and lower, until she's done with this rebound. She'll even keep you around after that until she mets the right guy and then she won't have an instant of hesitation before never reaching out to you again. Protect your own emotions man. She won't.
Author ResetInput Posted December 13, 2010 Author Posted December 13, 2010 Oh man... I understand the NC thingie, but i'm kinda getting seriously pissed off about it. Its not that it hurts that shes with him or something, its the waiting game. I aint gonna give her time. What im planning to do, is wait another day, then give her the ultimatum. If she wants to fix it, she has to do it now. Or else she wont have anything left to fix. Its kinda drastical but i need to do this, for my own ego and pride (whats left of it).
bl22 Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 dont give her any ultimatum ...yovue sent her a email for closure....NOW LEAVE IT AT THAT. Listen to us, weve all been through this...ITS OVER! Only slight chance you guys have now of working things out is far far far in the future when your both over the old relationship. I was in your position, she'd tell me she wants to work things out, id stupidly agree, then she'd change her mind and went to the other guy. She will do the same to you, and you will be more hurt than ever. The pain has eased cause shes giving you attention but that will soon stop leaving you much worse off. Shes lost repsect for you, respect that can only be gained by you respecting yourself and distancing yourself for this woman whos going to rip your heart out again. Go out with pride n dignity and you can bet she will be 2nd guessing herself for a long long time to come. Keep being a push over and she will leave and think she made the right decision...Its your choice but i urge you to listen to us.
Author ResetInput Posted December 13, 2010 Author Posted December 13, 2010 Ok i think you re right. Man this is so hard...the hardest situation i've ever experienced...
Eternity001 Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 Hard but doable, suck it up fella Everything these guys say is 100% accurate, you will just keep getting eaten alive emotionally by this woman if you don't walk away.
Recommended Posts