robaday Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Hi I broke up with my gf over a month ago now, but my emotions are still pretty raw-I broke up with her, was crazy about her but it wasnt working out, she loves me i love her, fights were killing us, it got too much. Then I met a beautiful girl on the weekend, took her home, we got on great, chatted until late into the night. There is attraction there, but im not sure if going on a date is a good idea. What have others done? I thought it would be good to take my mind off things, it would be good to experience new people and even just make a new friend, I dont really have any expectations but thats the problem-Im struggling to raise any enthusiasm, even though this one seems like a really good catch. But I am struggling a little with this break up. Any advice?
angelboots Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 it sounds like you are what we girls call "emotionally unavailable" and since you have only been broken up for a little over a month with your ex, its also completely normal, respectful and HEALTHY. Good for you for NOT forcing feelings that may lead to you, or this girl being hurt in the future. Making friends is good and keeping this girl as a friend is also a good option, so long as you can be honest with her about where you are at and how you feel and she is ok with that, what harm can come from having her as a friend? A lot of people throw themselves back into dating very quickly to fill the gap their ex has left in their lives but from what i have seen it never ends well for any body involved and someone always gets hurt. My advice is to stay true to who you are and let time heal you. You will know when you are ready for something to happen. good luck out there
meda1 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 When your in love moving on is the hardest thing you can do and whoever says it is easy has obviously has never been truely in love. It is just as hard to find someone else to put it bluntly, but if you truely didnt get on to the point where you split then you have made the right choice, treat each date like she could be the one just be careful not to go to overboard and remember she isnt your ex so get to know what she likes without comparing her to your past relationship, good luck and happy dating mate
RyanBigDog86 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I know all about this. I just ended a 4 year relationship with my, now, ex-wife. It seemed like almost 70% of the time I TRULY hated to be near this person. We fought all the time, she was always accusing me of **** I didn't do, just typical BS. So she left me after the 4 years and 1 year of marriage, and even to this day I still want to talk to her, be around her, etc.. but when I get the chance, we go right back to fighting and I hate her again. Never ending cycle. I say forget about your ex. Even if you got back with her, you would just revert back to the **** that led you to break up in the first place. I'm moving on with a new girl now. And although I still think about my ex from time to time, I'm happier now. So go get a new relationship and be happy.
slownumbers81 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Hi robaday, I say go with your gut instinct. Good catch or not, it sounds like you may not be ready to date if you aren't over your last breakup, BUT that is entirely up to you. You could try it out and see how it goes, but I've always found that dating while I wasn't over my ex just made me more sad. You'll know when the time is right to date again... Good luck
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