mangosmmm Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 So my fiance and I have been together for 9 months, we got engaged pretty early on, and have been through a lot. We've both been faithful to each other, but I still have trust issues. They aren't warrented but they are there. When she is with me we are completely fine, as a matter of fact we recently had one of the best weekends ever. But she left to go back home again, which is only about 10 minutes away, but I feel like when she goes away it's much farther than that. Anyway, I've said some horrible stuff, focused on her previous sexual encounters, called her a whore and a nasty slut etc. And I KNOW they're wrong, and she has every right to leave me. What I'm wondering is, how can I stop this before she DOES leave. I love her to death when she's with me, but I resent her for leaving me to go home. It drives me crazy, and I want her to be with me and know that what I'm doing isn't helping me at all. Thanks for any help.
PegNosePete Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Sounds like you need some counselling dude. You're getting verbally abusive to her for no readily apparent reason.
Author mangosmmm Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 My bio dad was physically and verbally abusive to my mom. I don't remember him at all, but I'm scared as hell to become like him. To add a bit of backstory, we met through my brothers fiance, and after we met my bro's fiance started talking a lot of crap about my fiance saying she was a whore and slept around (she's had sex with 6 people in two years, and lost her virginity at 18) clearly not a whore. But something stuck in my mind, and she has had guy friends that I was always suspicious of. I'm trying very hard to fight against the feelings, but as soon as she leaves they come up.
PegNosePete Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Promiscuity does not make one a whore. Accepting money (or other goods) for sex makes one a whore. Sounds like your bro's fiancée needs a dictionary for Christmas? 6 people in 2 years is not many, one every 4 months on average. You have issues dude, you need to get them sorted out if you want a healthy relationship.
wicar1 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 (edited) My bio dad was physically and verbally abusive to my mom. I don't remember him at all, but I'm scared as hell to become like him. To add a bit of backstory, we met through my brothers fiance, and after we met my bro's fiance started talking a lot of crap about my fiance saying she was a whore and slept around (she's had sex with 6 people in two years, and lost her virginity at 18) clearly not a whore. But something stuck in my mind, and she has had guy friends that I was always suspicious of. I'm trying very hard to fight against the feelings, but as soon as she leaves they come up. Dude dont fight against those feelings or instincts, almost all the time they are correct. Instead of trying to fight it, try to find out if it is correct. If she's a w**** you better dont wanna end up marrying her do you? If you want answers... spy on her. you are doing it for a good cause. It is not wrong to spy on her but dont get caught..lol Edited December 9, 2010 by wicar1
Author mangosmmm Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 Dude dont fight against those feelings or instincts, almost all the time they are correct. Instead of trying to fight it, try to find out if it is correct. If she's a w**** you better dont wanna end up marrying her do you? If you want answers... spy on her. you are doing it for a good cause. It is not wrong to spy on her but dont get caught..lol You're assuming my paranoia hasn't already tempted me to do that. I used to do that a lot as a matter of fact, she's never done anything to hurt me. Like I said, she isn't the type to go out and cheat. She got a bad rap from this girl who used to be her best friend that's all.
PegNosePete Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 she isn't the type to go out and cheat If I had £1 for every person who said that... I don't think there is a single BS here who wouldn't have said the same thing, until the day their world came crashing down. Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you. However if your case I think the problem is yours, you need to get help dude.
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