jclipse8 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 (edited) I'm in a tough situation. I was dating this girl for a while (nothing official). Everything was going smoothly, not being clingy, giving her space, being a challenge, having a good time. But then one weekend I asked her to go out, and she said she couldn't because she was hanging out with "friends". I knew this was a bad sign and was ready for the worst. Sure enough that same weekend she got a boyfriend. I didn't care because you win some you lose some, move on. But a week later my buddy told her she had made a mistake at work. She's like I know, and almost started crying. She told him I don't know what to do. He said text him, so she did. We texted for a while, then the next day at work we talked afterwards for an hour. She said sorry that she had made a mistake, she chose the wrong guy, she's being a bad girlfriend but doesn't know what to do. She told me she thought I only wanted to be friends, and that her parents said I was too old. Also her friend told her the same thing ( were only 3 years apart, I'm 20). She said she felt bad for leading two guys at once, and didn't want to hurt him like she hurt me. She said I need you in my life, and wish I was older. I told her plain and simple, if you like someone you will make it work, let time and God sort things out, but I can't wait forever. She said I like that but don't get mad if it works out with him, and we hugged and went our ways. We still see each other at work, but she's been acting strangely ( shy, and nervous but flirty at the same time. I try to keep it simple, but she tries to keep the convo going) This keeps bothering me and I don't know what to do. Any help would be awesome, thanks Edited December 9, 2010 by jclipse8
Author jclipse8 Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 btw I'm new to the forum and I know how we all hate repeated questions, but I couldn't find a situation like mine, thanks
Leandro Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 So she's 17 I'm guessing. Well there is nothing you can do about the age problem, but if she wanted to be with you, she could wait and continue to be close friends with you. She might want you on the side just in case the other guy doesn't work out later. Maybe you should cut contact with her right now.
Author jclipse8 Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 Leandro, thanks I will continue to do that. I'm trying to move on and I'm talking to other girls, but I keep thinking there is still hope because of what she said. She's really self conscious and has never had a boyfriend so I hope that isn't holding her back from making her own decisions.
Eternity001 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 She's young and probably confused. Don't push her and let her figure it out for herself. Assume the worst and continue with your own life dude. Like you said, win some, lose some. You can walk away knowing you did nothing wrong here.
Author jclipse8 Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 Eternity001 Yeah I have always given her space and haven't at any point told her what she should do. I care for her and have even stood up for her many times, and she told me she admires me a lot. I respect her and want her in my life, but I don't want to become "just friends" until I know for sure that there's no chance. Thank you for the advice, and yeah I'm walking away but I still have dumb little glimpses back, you know?
Author jclipse8 Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 (edited) Any other advice would be awesome Edited December 9, 2010 by jclipse8
dng Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Does this other dude know about you too? Ask yourself that question. I had the same thing happen to me when I was the same age. Awesome girl, we were never official. She started dating other dudes, would tell me about it. I would spend nights with her but nothing would happen, horrible torture. After a while I met another girl, started dating her... She came back and I was so mad at her. Told her too late, sorry, can't even be friends. Years later her mom told me she really never recovered from it. Dodged a bullet, yes. Drop that girl. She doesnt know what she wants and she is taking her sweet time at your expense - ie, very selfish, doesnt think of the consequences of what she's doing and won't for a very long time, if ever.
Author jclipse8 Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 dng, I appreciate the input. She told me she has told her boyfriend about me, but you can't ever really know for sure. Your absolutely right and I have started moving on, I just haven't ever been in this situation before and my thoughts have been cloudy. But things are starting to clear up, thanks again guys for the advice its helped alot
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