Joeschm0 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I was the one to break things off nearly 9 months ago...yes i regretted it shortly after, tried to get back with her, it didn't work out because she no longer trusted me. I dont want to seem childish but altho it was my first real relationship (dated for 2 years), this is a woman I could see myself marrying. I guess it was a case of the grass is greener syndrome, not realizing how good I had it. It's been so long since we've been together but in many ways it doesn't feel that way... the pain is present now as much as ever. I broke up with her and don't want to make it seem like im trying to play the victim because in reality I think this is a large part of why I feel worthless and so hurt: knowing I was the one who caused this to the both of us. I'm in a state of confusion, don't really know who I am or what I want anymore, how could I have messed things up with someone so perfect... Quite honestly I'm come to realize that feeling so down and depressed like this so long after the break up isn't exactly normal so I don't know what to do? How do I forgive myself and stop putting myself down about it and just let go?
shocked_confused Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I was the one to break things off nearly 9 months ago...yes i regretted it shortly after, tried to get back with her, it didn't work out because she no longer trusted me. I dont want to seem childish but altho it was my first real relationship (dated for 2 years), this is a woman I could see myself marrying. I guess it was a case of the grass is greener syndrome, not realizing how good I had it. It's been so long since we've been together but in many ways it doesn't feel that way... the pain is present now as much as ever. I broke up with her and don't want to make it seem like im trying to play the victim because in reality I think this is a large part of why I feel worthless and so hurt: knowing I was the one who caused this to the both of us. I'm in a state of confusion, don't really know who I am or what I want anymore, how could I have messed things up with someone so perfect... Quite honestly I'm come to realize that feeling so down and depressed like this so long after the break up isn't exactly normal so I don't know what to do? How do I forgive myself and stop putting myself down about it and just let go? Has she moved on? Do you guys still talk? If she's moved on already I would let her go and just use this as a lesson for your next relationship. If she hasn't moved on then who knows, maybe with more time, she'll be back. Have you tried getting her back lately? I wish I was in your gf's shoes right now (with my ex bf). He broke up with me for the same reasons as you. We were each other's first loves. But he wanted to see what else was out there. This was a month ago. I doubt he'll be back. *sigh* Good luck with your situation, I hope everything works out for the best.
Author Joeschm0 Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 It's hard to say if she's completely moved on. In the first few months, I tried to get back with her a few times while still giving her space because I know it was important not to rush back into things. She told me she didn't want to get back together because it hurt too much etc. but she still has pictures of us up on facebook for example. Doesn't mean much but it leads me to believe she isnt 100% over our relationship, just as I'm not over it. She'll also send me a random txt every once in a blue moon, to see what i've been up to for example... I always answer back even though I know having contact with her is making it more difficult on myself, feel like i dont even care about feeling hurt as long as i get to talk to her. In the past couple of months I've tried really hard to just not contact her at all so I can really heal, in the beginning I thought we could be friends but the more time goes by the more I realize that can't happen even tho it pains me to think about not having her in my life at all. The connection I had with her and the love we had was just too deep that I can't see us just being friends. I've tried to go out on dates but I'm always thinking of her and comparing any other girls to her and tell myself she was better...
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