RyanBigDog86 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Hey all, first post here. My name is Ryan and I'm 24 and from South Florida. Here's my situation, and maybe someone with similar experience (if possible) could comment. Thanks! About a month ago I separated from my ex-wife of 4 years. Shortly after that I put out an ad for a roommate. I wasn't intentionally looking for a female roommate, but that's what I found. A 21 year old, cute girl from Poland. In fact, she's only been in this country for about 6-7 months now and was seeking a roommate to be closer to work. Since the first day I met her I noticed "signs" from her, even though she barely speaks English, which is fine with me (lol). You can just tell that there are signs present, and I don't normally just detect these from other girls. Now I'm an alright looking guy. I'm a little overweight and don't work out or anything like that, which even that a lone is a turn-off to a LOT of people. But I've been told by numerous people (not just my ex), that I'm very good looking in my face. I got my dad's look, and my dad is a good looking guy. Either way, I'm not normally the kind of guy to attract girls of her caliber. My ex was cute, for my standards, but even such she was still a little overweight like me. This new girl, however, is fit, healthy, cute face, just looks good overall. Anyway, since she moved in with me. Our "situation" has progressed ever so slowly. She consistently showed interest in me, for whatever reason, even before I showed it back. It started with coy little teasing touches on the couch, then progressed to kissing and cuddling, now we're sleeping together. Although we still haven't had sex, just SLEEPing together. So you would think at first glance that I got it made. A hot girl falls right into my lap, expresses that she likes me, and hell, she's even PAYING to live with me. But deep down inside, and it gets worse as time goes on, I get the feeling she may have ulterior motives here. I'd like to believe that she legitimately likes me and I should go with it, but in my head I know that girls like this don't usually go for me. So what the hell is it about me that she likes.. or in my fears, that she WANTS. Since she's here on a Visa, is she trying to push me to marry her so she can become a citizen? So yea... any advice is appreciated. Should I: (A) Just shut up and go with it, it's probably a good thing and I should be happy that a cute girl is attracted to me and wants a relationship. (B) Try and find any ulterior motives while moving forward with the relationship, but be ready to bail if I discover something is up. © Bail now, because chances are she's just using me for something. P.S. For those who like to base things on Astrology. I am a Sagittarius and she's a Gemini. We are opposite on the Zodiac wheel and extremely compatible together. So it would definitely be a relationship I would want to pursue. I've actually had one person tell me that she's attracted to me simply because I'm a Sagittarius and you know what they say. Opposites attract.
denise_xo Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I am a Sagittarius and she's a Gemini. We are opposite on the Zodiac wheel and extremely compatible together. So it would definitely be a relationship I would want to pursue. I've actually had one person tell me that she's attracted to me simply because I'm a Sagittarius and you know what they say. Opposites attract. I had a Gemini throw this one at me once (I'm Sag). I'm not 'into' astrology but I have to say the 'magnetic attraction' thesis was empirically verified in that case. I'm not sure about your case but I tentatively vote for B.
Author RyanBigDog86 Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 Yea, that's what I'm assuming right now. We're on day 3 of sleeping together. The first 2 times she asked if she could sleep with me, now she just does it. Still no sex. Not sure what's up with that. There's been some heavy make-out sessions that have ALMOST lead into sex. You can tell by how she acts and moves. But then out of nowhere she just turns it off and it's right back to watching TV. Anythink she's got "something" going on down there she doesn't want me to know about? I don't think she's on her period. I would of seen wrappers for tampons and what not in the trash, and there's nothing.
Alienist Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I think you may want to stop thinking of your attractiveness, looks and zodiac signs, and stop thinking what she's thinking. (Well, other motives can be there, sure.) She's manipulating you. She leads and controls you and teases you with sex. This is a bad sign. She might even have a relationship with you later, because for now she needs stability and someone to rely upon. But after few months she might not need it. I don't think you can do (B). If you start having sex, you'll be hooked and barely able to analyze. If you let the girl control you, she has a lever on you with sex: can push you into grief, or put into pleasurable state right before making a decision. I tried this, I know. I think, (A) is the same as (B). I think if you try ©, she'll just push a bit harder to get you back in control. Make a decision and stay with it no matter what she asks. She might tease you with (chances of) sex after that. Don't agree. That's just my opinion based on similar situation I've been into.
carhill Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 What's her visa status? You probably don't want a roommate who's here illegally or is over-staying a legal visa. If it sounds too good to be true it probably is. Considering you're still married, I'd suggest keeping that in mind.
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