SmileFace Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Sigh , a next how do I reply to this text from the guy whom I met online thread.Yes I have fallen victim. I was texting with a guy earlier. Told him I was having a crappy day at work.So he was like "well you get to see me later , does that make you happy". I replied "yeah it does". Then he text me and says "We should get small coffees just in case we don't click?" WTF , I really want to be like well if you plan for us to not click , I really don't need to meet you. Sigh I really don't know what to say. I am not going into this hoping we click. If we don't - that is ok. I don't expect to click with everyone . But who says this out loud?
LondonS Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I once had the same line said to me, .. it just put me off meeting him altogether.
refurb Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Yeah, bad form on his part. That's something you think but don't say. Don't make much of it, everyone says stupid things now and then. The key to enjoying dating is to....wait for it.... enjoy dating! Go into it with ZERO expectations and enjoy the conversation and time you spend. Stop over thinking it! RF
waynesworld Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I laughed when I read this. Yes, that was completely unnecessary. But why the WTF moment on your end? Is this what online dating is about? Over-analysing every minute detail? Kinda takes the romance and fun out of dating doesn't it? You need to chill girl!
2sure Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Text him back: Good thinking. How about we get shots of expresso just to be safe?
Author SmileFace Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 I once had the same line said to me, .. it just put me off meeting him altogether. Yea , I don't even feel like bothering. Yeah, bad form on his part. That's something you think but don't say. Don't make much of it, everyone says stupid things now and then. The key to enjoying dating is to....wait for it.... enjoy dating! Go into it with ZERO expectations and enjoy the conversation and time you spend. Stop over thinking it! RF Yeah I am just going to blame in on "stupid **** people say" because its not like I am not thinking it as well. I would try to enjoy. I laughed when I read this. Yes, that was completely unnecessary. But why the WTF moment on your end? Is this what online dating is about? Over-analysing every minute detail? Kinda takes the romance and fun out of dating doesn't it? You need to chill girl! Yeah I am going to just ignore it and not try to over analyse it. I don't want to lose my fun :-)
Author SmileFace Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Text him back: Good thinking. How about we get shots of expresso just to be safe? Thanks this is perfect. I will be back with his reply lol
phillyfan Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 WTF a 'small coffee'? So he doesnt wanna risk payin for a 'large coffee'?! Some dudes are just cheap, seriously.
Author SmileFace Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 WTF a 'small coffee'? So he doesnt wanna risk payin for a 'large coffee'?! Some dudes are just cheap, seriously. lol that isn't wait he meant. I actually offered to buy him coffee. And he replied saying "You mean when am I buying you coffee.". So I don't think thats a problem. Not that I care.
Author SmileFace Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 I think he is trying to get a reaction out of me . He just text me . "I deleted my pof."
Author SmileFace Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Text him back: Good thinking. How about we get shots of expresso just to be safe? He replied "Haha sounds like a plan" Then sent me a text saying " I deleted my Pof".
tinktronik Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Even if you don't "click" with someone is it really so awful to spend the time it takes to have a regular sized coffee or even a meal with a stranger? It's a whole new person with completely different life experiences and perspectives than you-- this seems potentially a waste to rush through with a small coffee. Times have changed my friends. Times have changed.
LexiB Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Text him back: Good thinking. How about we get shots of expresso just to be safe? Oooh, I love it. Seriously, the guy really put his foot in his mouth with that one. Hopefully he realizes it and can resuscitate the mood with a cute reply to this.
LexiB Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 He replied "Haha sounds like a plan" Then sent me a text saying " I deleted my Pof". Not the most ingeneious response ever, but I think it works in this situation. At the very least he now knows that his comment was a little off-putting. Don't think the pof comment had anything to do with you specifically.
2sure Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 You know...he was probably simply being humorous in a self deprecating way...as in, he wanted you know YOU would have an out. And your response was equally humorous and casual.
musemaj11 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Smart guy for not wanting to throw money at some stranger. But at the same time he is also a stupid guy for saying it out loud.
Left in a Lurch Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Once again when did honesty become such a red flag? It's obvious he was making a joke about the situation of meeting a "blind" date from a dating site and here he is getting grilled. He let the OP in on the fact he is probably nervous and feels just like the OP does, not totally sure what to expect, it might not work, and he is making light of it. I'd rather have someone be honest and let me in on what they are thinking and where they are at. The only difference is the OP would prefer he be less than honest. The OP learned they have the same feeling of anticipation and worry, but she is turned off because he didn't hide it. He might have even just been trying to put her at ease by diffusing the nervousness they both have with a small joke. It's the same thing as wanting a guy to pretend he is confident when most guys that appear confident in public have a lot of weird issues from what I have seen, like narcissim and anger issues among others. Wouldn't you rather know what that person is really like instead of watching an act that will change over time?
refurb Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Even if you don't "click" with someone is it really so awful to spend the time it takes to have a regular sized coffee or even a meal with a stranger? It's a whole new person with completely different life experiences and perspectives than you-- this seems potentially a waste to rush through with a small coffee. Times have changed my friends. Times have changed. BINGO!! I did EHarmony this summer and had a great time! Why? Because it was fun just meeting new people and trying out new restaurants/bars (I was new to the city). Honestly? I only had one bad date out of 20 or so. She was very negative and it wasn't fun at all. Most of the others, even though they didn't lead to a relationship, were well worth the time. RF
Author SmileFace Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Once again when did honesty become such a red flag? It's obvious he was making a joke about the situation of meeting a "blind" date from a dating site and here he is getting grilled. He let the OP in on the fact he is probably nervous and feels just like the OP does, not totally sure what to expect, it might not work, and he is making light of it. I'd rather have someone be honest and let me in on what they are thinking and where they are at. The only difference is the OP would prefer he be less than honest. The OP learned they have the same feeling of anticipation and worry, but she is turned off because he didn't hide it. He might have even just been trying to put her at ease by diffusing the nervousness they both have with a small joke. It's the same thing as wanting a guy to pretend he is confident when most guys that appear confident in public have a lot of weird issues from what I have seen, like narcissim and anger issues among others. Wouldn't you rather know what that person is really like instead of watching an act that will change over time? I don't have a problem with honesty. I am pretty sure if I did I wouldn't have stated that I felt the same way. It is just that when I did read the text it went right over my head and straight into over analysing.I wasn't sure what he meant - that is why I asked for the opinion, but I still think some things should be left unsaid Anyway just got this text, "Can I make a raincheck for tomorrow for coffee. I got called into work early." Well I guess I am working late. lol Anyway thanks for all the replies everyone
musemaj11 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 BINGO!! I did EHarmony this summer and had a great time! Why? Because it was fun just meeting new people and trying out new restaurants/bars (I was new to the city). Honestly? I only had one bad date out of 20 or so. She was very negative and it wasn't fun at all. Most of the others, even though they didn't lead to a relationship, were well worth the time. RF Ya well not all men have as much money as you do. If the women were the ones paying for me, I wouldnt mind going to Cheesecake Factory or 5-star restaurants on every date 7X/week.
refurb Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Ya well not all men have as much money as you do. If the women were the ones paying for me, I wouldnt mind going to Cheesecake Factory or 5-star restaurants on every date 7X/week. You think I took them all out for dinner? First date, drinks, less than $10 out of my pocket. Not bad for an hour or two of interesting conversation. RF
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