Tried to forget...can't. Want her back but know I shouldn't try to get her back.

[Odradek]

Hi everyone.

 

I'm new at this kinda thing, so I'll try and do my best.

 

 

See, my GF broke up with me about a month ago. She said it was because she wasn't ready for a relationship because she was confused and didn't quite know for sure what she wanted. After I thought about it a lot and then some, I realized I probably went too crazy over her and jumped head-first into a meet the parents/see each other everyday/share the holidays/ kind of relationship...one of those where you're all over each other's life. We're only 20, so I think I just sacred her.

 

Even tho i asked repeatedly, she refused to tell me wether she still had or not feelings for me. She's a blunt straight out girl, so I think she would have said so if that had been the case. I was devastated, I really was. Now I'm not devastated but I'm really having a hard time getting over the whole thing, but I've also learned a couple of things and think I could make it better a second time around...I really really want her back.

 

I know I know. You're all gonna say "forget about her buddy, it's over", but I've tried my best. I've been trying to avoid thinking about her, and I haven't called her or emailed her or sent her any IMs at all. But the thing is we're together in college and I have to see her at least 3 times a week. We also have the same friends, so it's not like I can just get her out of my life and move on. Plus there's this guy that's coming on to her really strong, and she's letting him. I don't know if she's doing it on purpose to make me jealous, but if she is, she's succeeding admirably.

 

My bday is early next week, so I'm going out tomorrow with all my friends (including her) to celebrate. I don't know if she's taking that guy or not, but I'm gonna be really uncomfortable if she is. I was thinking maybe this is my chance to get her back. Maybe I can ask her to the movies today, and pick her up tomorrow if she lets me. Or maybe I should just take this girl from work thats really interested in me and let her go with the guy, then maybe she'll be jealous and realize it was a mistake for her to break up with me.

 

Man!, I'm so sick of it, I wish I could just never see her again and get it over with...but I can't. Am I crazy? Should I try and get her back? Or just see how things go with the girl from work and since I'm at it try and see how she reacts to the danger of losing me definitely?

 

God Im lame.

[morrigan]

You're not lame, you're just desperately hurt and want to believe your ex is going through the same pain as you.

 

Whatever you feel, don't use this other girl as a means to make your ex jealous. It's not fair to her.

 

Only your girlfriend knows what she wants. But breaking up with you and quickly meeting other guys is an indicator that she is moving on. It's not what you want to hear, but do you want to wait for someone who may no longer be interested in you? Will it be worth your time to wait weeks, months, or years while she dates other guys, hoping against odds she will someday want to be with you again?

 

This breakup seems like hell, but moving on with your own life, and not trying to relive a relationship that is no longer present, is the best way to deal with the pain and hurt you feel.

[jonathan]

What would you do different if you would get back together? she is confused so just give her space. I thought that I could do the same with my girl. But give her space. let her come to you and in time she will find out what it is she is looking for. it might not be what you want but never the less, You will have your answer.

 

just a reminder....... don't drive her away. it sounds to me like she just needs to think and be alone.

[Odradek]

I took her to the movies yesterday. Afterwards in the car, we got to talking. I told her I didn't think she'd been completely honest about her reasons for breaking up with me and It'd really help me to get past the whole thing if she'd just come clean. Well she did. She said she didn't quite know what went wrong but she just started feeling uncomfortable around me and hence acting rude towards me like she did the whole last month we were together. She said she felt really bad about the whole thing, and that none of it had been my fault. I asked her to tell me honestly wether or not she had feelings for me, which she had refused to do in the past, and she said that she cared a great deal about me...as a friend. She confesed she is interested in this other guy and that although she can't just write off the possibility of us getting back in the future, it'd be best for me to move on.

 

I feel liberated, on one hand. On the other, I feel really dissapointed that all my hopes were shot down. I still really love her, but at least now I know for sure that I have no other choice than to move on with my life. I know it's not gonna be easy, I've tried before and not succeeded, but I'll do my best. It'll go away eventually, I hope. The fact that I have to see her and the guy many times a week sure doesn't help, but what are you gonna do?.

 

In the meanwhile, we're going out tonight, me and my friends. She's gonna be there, but she's not taking the guy. I'm taking that other girl tho, and judging from our talking on the phone I think were gonna have a good time.

 

It's confusing knowing what you have to do and at the same time knowing there's a big part of you that just doesn't wanna do it and then another part that wants to do it but is not sure it'll be able to.

 

But thanks anyway guys.

[dario]

Sounds to me like you're over her already