sweet_peach115 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 He ended it last Thrusday. Before that day, the last time we saw each other, he made me wait around so he could introduce me to his friend's gf and he made a reference to how happy he was that I was his gf. So when he ended it I was completely shocked. He said he just isn't ready for a relationship. I think that really means "I'm just don't want a relationship with YOU". Now I can't stop moping around work all day long. I'm starting to feel pathetic. We've been NC for 4 days now. It just sucks because his roommate works for the same company as me in a different department but we see each other frequently. Also one of his band members works in that department as well. I feel like they are all laughing at me. Is there any way to force myself to be happy? I don't know how to shake this depression I feel.
january2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 You can try focusing on your work, your friends and other activities. Take each moment at a time and say to yourself that all you have to do is just get to the next moment - fill it with something that's not about him but about you. You'll then notice that the moments get longer and before you know it, you haven't really thought about him at all. Remain polite if you see them, but try not to spend any time with his roommate or band member - if they slip in anything about him into conversation, it will only serve as a reminder about what happened between the two of you. All you can do is look after yourself. If you do feel like sobbing, do it. Better to just let it out rather than hold it in. If you need to take a few days off work, it might be good to visit family or friends just to get away and take a deep breath.
Leandro Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I agree with January once again. LOL. I also think the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line really means "I'm don't want a relationship with you".
january2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I also think the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line really means "I'm don't want a relationship with you". I know that it hurts for you to realise this, but yes, in my experience, it means exactly that.
i made a mess Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 (edited) Do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself to a manicure, get a new shirt, something that's going to help boost your mood. Focus on your work, surround yourself with friends and try to keep busy. If you need to cry, do it. Sometimes I think you can literally cry the heartache right out of your system. Look at it as a learning tool of what you don't want from a boyfriend! You want one that will say, I know your who I want and I don't want anyone else...not someone who is unsure of what they want. I don't think that saying "I don't want a relationship right now" is necessarily equivalent to "I don't want you". Sometimes we're just scared to take that next step...I've been the person who has said "I don't want a relationship" and it was not that I didn't want that person. I was just a big scaredy cat of losing control of my independence and didn't know how to balance friends, work, a relationship all while keeping my own sanity. So don't take it as there is something wrong with you. There isn't. I'm sure you are a lovely person, sometimes we are just a mess in our own heads and don't want to drag someone down the road with us. But right now, as others have said - you need to do you. One thing that was really fun that I did after a breakup was take art classes from a local artist. There was a small group of us, all women, and we'd drink wine and talk and it was jus so much fun. I felt a little less lonely, made some new friends, and found a creative outlet to express myself. Triple win! Hang in there sister. It will get better!!! Edited December 9, 2010 by i made a mess
gerib38 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Sweet peach... my bf told me the same thing ... he is back now after 6 weeks of totally ignoring me ... but for me it is just not the same because no matter what he says i doubt him now... he will have to make the effort for me to feel confident in him about going forward ... he asked me to text and call him but i will not ... he started this back up and he will have to make the effort... i dont think it always means NOT WITH YOU ... but that he has some things hes unsure about .. me and my bf moved to quickly in the beginning i think.. and now we're like whoa! ... and believe me i was depressed as hell couldnt think missed 3 days of work ... i was a mess ... but i have gotten my spirit back and i know there are men out there that would love to date me ... so i have taken a new outlook on it all ... its hard at first but take care of you dont call or text him and if its meant to b it will b ... DONT let a man break your spirit
Author sweet_peach115 Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 Thanks for the support guys. I must say, I am feeling a bit better today. Also, it was a stupid idea for me to get involved with him anyways; he's 4.5 years younger than me!!! Just 22. Don't know what I was thinking.
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