greengoddess Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 it is no wonder there is so much infidelity. Sheeesh people can't even be honest on an annonymous message board. What is up with that? I guess it is to be expected. If you can't be honest in real life why be honest on an annon support board?
Author greengoddess Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Woah GG, who pissed you off?! :laugh: Dishonesty just really annoys me. Live your life in all aspects with honesty and we won't have these big messes. I guess dishonesty is the norm though. Hell look at the us goveernment.
gisellefromhell Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 The less things you lie about, the less things you have to remember.
TigerCub Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 :laugh: Dishonesty just really annoys me. Live your life in all aspects with honesty and we won't have these big messes. I hear that!! That's why the whole MM mess was certainly not for me. I'm with ya on that one - lying and deceiving sucks! I guess dishonesty is the norm though. Hell look at the us goveernment. :laugh: haha, reading more wikileak documents are ya?
AlektraClementine Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 What is it I heard? For every lie you tell, you have to make up 10 more to support it? The worst is all the lying to oneself I see going on. here's a quote I read yesterday by Bertrand Russel: "What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires -- desires of which he himself is often unconscious. If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way."
donnamaybe Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 But the holidays, while being a stressful time, aren't the cause of dishonesty. Well, unless you're telling someone you really did like that sweater they bought you. Yeah, living a life based on lies is dispicable, IMO. Some people don't give a rat's arse about anyone but themselves, however. As long as they get theirs... And, by the way, EVERY government lies to its people.
jthorne Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 What is it I heard? For every lie you tell, you have to make up 10 more to support it? The worst is all the lying to oneself I see going on. here's a quote I read yesterday by Bertrand Russel: "What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires -- desires of which he himself is often unconscious. If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way."Whew! Bertrand Russel for a change, instead of Russel Brand. That guy... Anyway... Your quote is quite similar to my signature, really if you think about it. People see what they want to see, and look at things in a way that supports them, even if the evidence is to the contrary. Some will even twist that evidence to suit them.
What_Next Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 It's amazing really, dishonesty of ANY TYPE from ANYONE really gets my dander up now. Part of being the BS I suppose. Not sure really. It almost seems as though society has conditioned people to accept dishonesty. It makes my bloody boil when I think of the amount of lying my wife did! It really gets under my skin.
bentnotbroken Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 But the holidays, while being a stressful time, aren't the cause of dishonesty. Well, unless you're telling someone you really did like that sweater they bought you. Yeah, living a life based on lies is dispicable, IMO. Some people don't give a rat's arse about anyone but themselves, however. As long as they get theirs... And, by the way, EVERY government lies to its people. Hell I can't even do that right. I usually end up saying something dumb like...this is so not me....got a receipt?
UnsureinSeattle Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Well, for the most part, everyone's the hero in the story of their own life... so we're not always getting the full truth in a forum like this.
WTFBBQ Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 it is no wonder there is so much infidelity. Sheeesh people can't even be honest on an annonymous message board. What is up with that? I guess it is to be expected. If you can't be honest in real life why be honest on an annon support board? there sure are a lot of "new" people posting about their affairs.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 it is no wonder there is so much infidelity. Sheeesh people can't even be honest on an annonymous message board. What is up with that? I guess it is to be expected. If you can't be honest in real life why be honest on an annon support board? Don'tcha know? The internet is like a woman with her make-up: It's meant to inspire her to enhance what is already there, but in reality she prefers to erase all of what is/was there and just make-up something purely random to become. Personally, I don't have the creativity to come up with something so random like that. Maybe it isn't because of tendencies toward honesty, but instead a reflection of my lack of imagination.
NoIDidn't Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I think posters that lie just damage their credibility and make others not want to correspond with them. Wasn't there a poster that was in the OW/OM forum that posted here for a year, but completely neglected to mention that she had a child with the MM? After finding out about the child, I couldn't post in anymore of her threads. I understand being afraid of what people will think, but isn't that the point of this place being anonymous? To alleviate some of that fear? I can understand changing dates, or fudging on the actual length of a M or A. But neglecting to reveal the existence of a person that very much affects the feelings of all the players is too much for me. I can understand a regular poster not wanting to share all the details of the situation that brought them here, especially if things take a bad turn and they feel they will hear "I told you so". But I don't get the intentional lying to posters by saying that things are just peachy. It gives others false hope. And false hope in the world of infidelity can be dangerous. But I have to say that not all posters even know that what they are telling as "truth" is just lies. Sometimes they are in too much denial to see what is right in front of them.
Summer Breeze Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Since there's no reference to who's lying about what. It's not our job to assume people are lying. It's our job to take them at face value until they trip themselves up. Some people are happy in their situations even if we can't imagine they could be. Some people are happy to accept contentment as true happiness. Some people are happy to create their own world and therefore their own truths and honesty. It's not for us to judge it. I personally have a few OP and BS on here that I think are making their situations far too good to be true. Why? No idea but it's what I've concluded. However until they actually do something to prove to me they're lying I will assume they are speaking the truth. I've been the OW and I've been the BS. I know the truth of what my situations were but you put others in the same situation and they'll have a different truth. My 2 p.
NoIDidn't Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Since there's no reference to who's lying about what. It's not our job to assume people are lying. It's our job to take them at face value until they trip themselves up. That's just it. I think people are only concerned with when they trip themselves up. Some people are happy in their situations even if we can't imagine they could be. Some people are happy to accept contentment as true happiness. Some people are happy to create their own world and therefore their own truths and honesty. It's not for us to judge it. Having an opinion about anything is judging it. I personally have a few OP and BS on here that I think are making their situations far too good to be true. Why? No idea but it's what I've concluded. However until they actually do something to prove to me they're lying I will assume they are speaking the truth. I've been the OW and I've been the BS. I know the truth of what my situations were but you put others in the same situation and they'll have a different truth. I personally think quite a few happy OW (as there aren't any happy OM) in the other forum (including the "wive OWs") are doing more convincing themselves of their happiness than anyone else. And the vitriol with which they post is more than enough to help anyone form the opinion that things aren't as well as they claim. I know the truth of the situations similar to the ones here, and none of them are as happy as the ones in that other forum. The problem, I think, is the classic filters used by the posters. I don't think that a W posting that her infidelity recovered marriage is saying that things are "perfect" and that she's perfectly "happy" and all the time "in love" - but that seems to be what many OW posters assume is being said. Personally, I think that W is saying that her marriage is healthier than it was, she's happy enough in it, and that things are going well - not perfect. There is a thread here that picks on the "ridiculous" flowery phrases used by those in affairs. I think that flowery language has blinded them to reality and that most of life isn't lived in the clouds. Happy just means content, not mind blowing sex every night. Recovered just means healing, not perfect and all is forgotten. If we could just READ what the others actually write instead of MISINTERPRET it, some of the accusations about honesty or lack thereof would go away - but not for those actually lying and getting caught lying. Or those with multiple handles yet telling the exact same story. That's another type of dishonesty. Posters that do those things shouldn't expect to be taken seriously.
jthorne Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Don'tcha know? The internet is like a woman with her make-up: It's meant to inspire her to enhance what is already there, but in reality she prefers to erase all of what is/was there and just make-up something purely random to become. Personally, I don't have the creativity to come up with something so random like that. Maybe it isn't because of tendencies toward honesty, but instead a reflection of my lack of imagination.HEY! As a former makeup artist, I.... resemble... that remark. In our (my former) profession, we called that "swimming in the delusion pond" when someone would expect that a little professionally applied makeup could turn BF Ugly Duckling into Beautiful Swan. Hey, we were good, but not miracle workers! I have no idea how that relates to this thread, but... there you have it anyway. Maybe someone might think that speaking so eloquently about their A might make it so??? Eh, I dunno. I gotta get back to work.
UnifiedFieldTheory Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I think some people can't even admit the truth to themselves. It's no wonder they would hide the truth from others.
freestyle Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I think some people can't even admit the truth to themselves. It's no wonder they would hide the truth from others. ding ding ding!! Right on the money, there!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 HEY! As a former makeup artist, I.... resemble... that remark. In our (my former) profession, we called that "swimming in the delusion pond" when someone would expect that a little professionally applied makeup could turn BF Ugly Duckling into Beautiful Swan. Hey, we were good, but not miracle workers! I have no idea how that relates to this thread, but... there you have it anyway. Maybe someone might think that speaking so eloquently about their A might make it so??? Eh, I dunno. I gotta get back to work. Laughs - The professionals are the ones who do it correctly. It's the grade 8 girls who get the idea that they should take one layer and just ERASE everything there, and then cause themselves not only a lot of money in make-up, but also the considerable mental expense of having to come up with something brand new and purely random. Of course their grade 8 peers keep allowing and encouraging them to keep at it. Thankfully, the male mind just doesn't have the 'artistic flair' for starting from square one and having to create such an elaborate facade. In fact, we neeeeeeeed women to start with what's already there, and to enhance that IF THEY SO CHOOSE. That gives males better mental 'foundation' (no pun intended) through which to admire women.
NoLongerSad Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 It's not for us to judge it. Yes it is.
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