andrew-bkk Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I read elsewhere on Love Shack about a trap that many people fall into. And you know what -- I fell right into it. I'm 46 and English. I live in Thailand. My ex is 36 and Thai. We were together for ten and a half years. We have a son who is five. My ex is a Restaurant Manager at a hotel. About five months ago she met a man in the hotel. He is the coach of the top football team here in Thailand. He is 63 years old. You can work out for yourselves what happened next. After we split, she was insistent that we could be best friends. She was adamant that we would reconcile. She said she wanted the "perfect family". I don't need to tell you that this was all lies. So I went NC. I did well. I genuinely moved on. And here's the trap. She called me out of the blue a couple of weeks ago. And I fell for it. She said she'd stopped seeing the 63 year-old man. And I fell for it. She said she wanted to see me again. And I fell for it. She said she wanted to talk. And I fell for it. Thing is -- she still sees that 63 year-old man. And the lies this time around are actually more devious and more destructive than they were before. It's all about guilt. Massive massive guilt. Problem is, it's people like us who suffer. Beware of exes when they come back out of the blue. If you are not truly healed, ignore them. You must understand that they are using you. Don't fall for it. I fell for it. And it really puts you right back to square one.
dng Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Your post helped me, thank you. I think I was about to fall in the same trap. We talked on sunday and she was coming to spend the weekend. We google video chatted on monday night and she showed so many signs that she hasnt changed. Flaky, unreliable, secretive. I cancelled the meeting and told her to get lost for good. I don't know if she is still seeing her rebound guy and there is no noble way of finding out, so screw everything. I am being pro-active. Blocked her on my phone, on facebook, blocked her email addresses. I've never experienced this or heard about anyone that did. She just won't leave me alone but doesnt want to come back either. She says that she does, but never acts on it.
Perhaps Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I read elsewhere on Love Shack about a trap that many people fall into. And you know what -- I fell right into it. I'm 46 and English. I live in Thailand. My ex is 36 and Thai. We were together for ten and a half years. We have a son who is five. My ex is a Restaurant Manager at a hotel. About five months ago she met a man in the hotel. He is the coach of the top football team here in Thailand. He is 63 years old. You can work out for yourselves what happened next. After we split, she was insistent that we could be best friends. She was adamant that we would reconcile. She said she wanted the "perfect family". I don't need to tell you that this was all lies. So I went NC. I did well. I genuinely moved on. And here's the trap. She called me out of the blue a couple of weeks ago. And I fell for it. She said she'd stopped seeing the 63 year-old man. And I fell for it. She said she wanted to see me again. And I fell for it. She said she wanted to talk. And I fell for it. Thing is -- she still sees that 63 year-old man. And the lies this time around are actually more devious and more destructive than they were before. It's all about guilt. Massive massive guilt. Problem is, it's people like us who suffer. Beware of exes when they come back out of the blue. If you are not truly healed, ignore them. You must understand that they are using you. Don't fall for it. I fell for it. And it really puts you right back to square one. I'm truly sorry to hear that. It's so much easier to fall for the lies because that's what we subconsciously want. It takes a lot of time and self-realization to differentiate right from wrong and see people's darker motives. What goes around, comes around. All the best.
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