she decided she liked my roommate more

[Jynxx]

background So about a week ago I met this girl in a bar. me and a couple buddies were out, she was with her roommate (female) I was flirting with her, she was flirting with me. I got her phone number, my roommate asked and got it too when he saw me getting it my friends decide to go to a different place she and her friend decide to go some other place and leave I pass her on the way to the bathroom after they left, they were just cumming out , she tells me she likes me to stay with them as they go dance for a while I can't dance for **** and don't enjoy it, so I say she should have fun, if she wants she can txt me later the night and if not I'll call her the next day or so. An hour or so later she texts me, we meet up I left my friends, she brought her roommate, we chat a bit we had a Moment, and I'm sure if her roommate wasn't there we wouldve kissed. her roommate is saying she wants to go home it's getting very late, and she says she'll go with her, but I was sure she wouldve prefered to stay with me. I offer to walk them home, the roommate refuses and says they'll be fine. fml So I call her on sunday and ask her to come over to my appartment. I also told hers he could bring her friend if she liked. she did she said she enjoyed cooking when we met, so I say we should cook. so it's her and her friend, me and my roommate. the vibe is totally dead. I mean, awkwardness all around. After food we start to drink, whatch a movie, play some games, having more fun etc. at around 5 her gf says she wants to go home both me and my roommate offer to walk her home, call her a cab or whatever but she refuses, saying it's not that far (it wasn't), so we let her go. so it's the 3 of us, she's flirting with both me and my roommate getting pretty touchy-feely. We re all were drinking alot for 8 hours straight we watch the sun rise around 8 she decides to call it a night, I show her the guest bedroom she and me put the sheets on the bed, there is attraction, the elec tricity in the air. She says she wants some water, so goes to the kitchen I walk with her, she drinks, then says she's going to sleep and kisses me on the cheek. I'm like WWWTTTTFFFFF. so I go to my room, get a txt a minute later roomie: she's hitting on me so hard. I know you like her. wtf should I do? Do u mind? If you don't want Ill respect that and do nothing so I txt back I like her but if she prefers you then have fun I normally don't care too mutch about this kind of situation, its not fun but stuff just happens. it happened both ways in the past and Im just not a jealous guy, I just move on. . But somehow this feels different since I felt Ireally had a strong connection with this girl. the kind of connection that makes you want to lay on bed with together and share thoughts and feelings and spoon with and all the other stuff I usually really dont care about. in other words thinks would do with relationship material girl and ot with a party girl. everyone will say their love is more intense than the rpevious ones, but honestly I dont have any but sexual arousal feelings for 90% of the girls that come to my place so I didn't sleep a sec since then which is a day n half ago and was just thinking about bad things, feeling miserable due to havinge a mild hangover from cheap wodka , cafeine and being awake 3 days straight and mainly feeling soulcrushed like some part of the night ****ed up and wasm eant to be differently gonna take a sleeping pill now and decide what way I can deal with my feelings tomorrow I dont post here much but just liked to hear your opinions on this but most of all just wanted to vent and get this **** out of my system

[Green]

Let me break it down for you. A) both you and your roommate got her number that one night so you were on notice he found her hot... B) You say you had no chance cause of the friend... but this girl actualy asked you to DANCE and you turned it down. Buddy DANCING is better then a lap dance these days you get to move the girl, touch her hips... probably touch her ass and maybe more... kissing her on the dance floor would have been the easiest thing. C) You get her to do something with you... BUT you make it a GROUP thing INVOLVING HER FRIEND AND YOUR FRIEND... THATS INSANE... the point is to get her ALONE WITH YOU... you both invited an obstacle (her friend and your friend) and you let her get face time in with another man you KNEW was interested D) why exactly does she sound like relationship material you met her at a club and she drank with you all day the first kinda date thing you had with her. Just get over her and move on, ur room mate is a dick seriously I'd be tempted to send him a txt after theyve been dating for a while "dude is it ok if I let your gf blow me" (Just make sure you send that after she blows you)

[Jynxx]

Holy ****, wall of text in the op. I wasn't in a fit mental state when writing this, but I guess you figured that out already. Here is what I intended there to be

background

So about a week ago I met this girl in a bar.

me and a couple buddies were out, she was with her roommate (female)

I was flirting with her, she was flirting with me. I got her phone

number, my roommate asked and got it too when he saw me getting it

 

my friends decide to go to a different place

she and her friend decide to go some other place and leave

I pass her on the way to the bathroom after they left, they were

just cumming out

, she tells me she likes me to stay with them

as they go dance

for a while

I can't dance for **** and don't enjoy it, so

I say she should have fun, if she wants she can

txt me later the night and if not I'll call her

the next day or so.

 

An hour or so later she texts me, we meet up

I left my friends, she brought her roommate, we chat a bit

we had a Moment, and I'm sure if her roommate wasn't there we wouldve

kissed.

 

her roommate is saying she wants to go home

it's getting very late, and she says she'll go

with her, but I was sure she wouldve prefered to stay with me.

I offer to walk them home, the roommate refuses and says

they'll be fine. fml

 

So I call her on sunday and ask her to come over to my appartment.

 

I also told hers he could bring her friend if she liked. she did

she said she enjoyed cooking when we met, so I say we should cook.

 

so it's her and her friend, me and my roommate.

the vibe is totally dead. I mean, awkwardness all around.

 

After food we start to drink,

whatch a movie, play some games, having more fun etc.

at around 5 her gf says she wants to go home

both me and my roommate offer to walk her home, call her

a cab or whatever

but she refuses, saying it's not that far (it wasn't),

so we let her go.

 

so it's the 3 of us, she's flirting with both me and my roommate

getting pretty touchy-feely. We re all were drinking alot for 8 hours

straight

 

we watch the sun rise

around 8 she decides to call it a night, I show her the guest bedroom

she and me put the sheets on the bed, there is attraction, the elec

tricity in the air.

She says she wants some water, so goes to the kitchen

I walk with her, she drinks, then says she's going to sleep and kisses

me on the cheek. I'm like WWWTTTTFFFFF.

 

so I go to my room, get a txt a minute later

 

roomie:

 

she's hitting on me so hard. I know you like her.

wtf should I do? Do u mind? If you don't

want Ill respect that and do nothing

 

 

so I txt back

I like her but if she prefers you then have fun

 

 

 

I normally don't care too mutch about this kind of situation,

its not fun but stuff just happens. it happened both ways

in the past and Im just not a jealous guy, I just move on.

. But somehow this feels different

since I felt Ireally had a

strong connection with this girl. the kind of

connection that makes you want to lay on bed with

together and share thoughts

and feelings and spoon with

and all the other stuff I usually really dont care about.

 

in other words thinks would do with relationship material girl and

ot with a party girl. everyone will say their love is more

intense than the rpevious ones, but honestly I dont have any but sexual

arousal feelings for 90% of the girls that come to my place

 

 

 

so I didn't sleep a sec since then which is a day n half ago

and was just thinking about

bad things, feeling miserable

due to havinge a mild hangover from cheap wodka

, cafeine and being awake 3 days straight and mainly feeling soulcrushed

like some part of the night ****ed up and wasm eant to be differently

 

 

 

 

gonna take a sleeping pill now and

decide what way I can deal with my feelings tomorrow I dont post

here much but just liked to hear

your opinions on this but most of all just wanted to vent

and get this **** out of my system

I caught some sleep and am sharp again now though.

 

A. My roommate is a good friend of mine, he had a relationship of 5 years or so and has broken up with that girl. He never cheated on her, but he liked to know he could. he liked talking to girls, asking and getting numbers, hugging and then telling the girl he has a girlfriend when she comes in for the kiss. Playing with attraction just for the kick. Personally I don't approve playing with peoples feelings like that, but who am I to judge him.

 

So when he asked and got her number it wasn't out of the ordinary.

 

 

B. While you are correct, I don't think you understand the issue.

She wanted to go to another club. If it were some karaoke thing with alot of slows and drunk people and stuff I would ve gone with her, but not to a club. I really do not have any rhytm, I'm unconfortable as hell on a dancefloor and as a result I really don't enjoy dancing. I'm not going to commit to doing something I don't enjoy.

 

 

C. you are right. I really ****ed it up there. I should've told her to leave her friend at home, and probably shouldve told my roomie to get out the night she was comming over. Crucial error.

 

 

D. She doesn't. Obviously she's a party girl and not suited at all for anything serious, but my emotions clouded my judgement.

 

 

As I've said I've kissed a couple of girls my roommate brought home in the past, he kissed one I brought home. I don't mind, because we don't cock block eachother. In fact he's a pretty awesome wingman, and if I can't get with a girl I don't mind her going to his room instead of her going home to never return again.

 

I also totally didn't blame him, he was entertaining the obstacle (who wasn't really pretty or interesting). When my girl (pun intended I guess) was flirting with him he kind of ignored her, which in hindsight must've been what attracted her to him, but that wasn't what he was after.

 

Also after kissing me goodnight she didn't go to the spare bedroom but to my friends and she was saying she wanted to sleep there etc etc. I obviously wasn't getting any action from her that night, if he told her to get out she wouldn't 've come to my room or whatever.

 

I'll try to get my roommates view on the situation and how to avoid stuff like this when he gets home, will post it here if anyone is still interested.

 

I'm also not gonna hit on her again. Earlier we made plans on going for a couple of drinks next week, I'll probably bail unless I really don't have anything better to do. IF I decide to meet her again at any point I will make sure not to have my emotions take over and just try to have fun.

[Bryanp]

So I assume she had sex with your roommate? I would have told the roommate no and see if she came to your room. You need to express your feelings better. The bottom line is that this really sucked for you.

[Green]

So I assume she had sex with your roommate? I would have told the roommate no and see if she came to your room. You need to express your feelings better. The bottom line is that this really sucked for you.

 

Seriously, you shoud have told your roommate "No" this girl was suposedly there for you... and if things don't work out you don't sudenly pass her over to your roommate. You obviously are jelouse so you should have said "no" if you didn't care it would be another story but you did care.

 

Also seriously man you would have been cool with going to some drunk bar with the girl but going dancing is out of the question... take a dance class because DANCING is the sht and you will learn

[Dexter Morgan]

move out and stick your roommate with paying the bills by himself.

[Jynxx]

So I assume she had sex with your roommate?

yes.

 

Seriously, you shoud have told your roommate "No" this girl was suposedly there for you... and if things don't work out you don't sudenly pass her over to your roommate. You obviously are jelouse so you should have said "no" if you didn't care it would be another story but you did care.

if I thought I still had a chance with her by telling him he shouldn't do it, I would've told him to stop. I didn't think I had, looking back maybe I did, but life's always much easier in hindsight.

Also seriously man you would have been cool with going to some drunk bar with the girl but going dancing is out of the question... take a dance class because DANCING is the sht and you will learn

I don't have any problems meeting new girls, so I don't see the point in learning something I don't enjoy. If I miss an opportunity because of this every so often, so be it. We should just agree to disagree on this.

 

move out and stick your roommate with paying the bills by himself.

I will. At least the moving out part, since our lease ends in 2 days. I'll continue going out with him and my other buddies, since as I said he's a good wingman and a friend.

 

I don't feel anger towards anyone, only some frustration. The situation obviously sucked, but I see no reason at all to blame it on anyone. Roomie got offered free sex without doing any effort, checked if I was ok with it and I'm pretty sure he would've passed if I didn't agree with it. He didn't cockblock me or try to seduce my girl, she did try to seduce him.

The girl just picked someone over someone else who she had a connection with first, again not a punishable offence and not that uncommon.

Me, I liked a girl, horribly misplayed the dating part and suffered the consequences by feeling awefull for a couple of days, but I learned from it and will not make the same mistake again.

[Chi townD]

Well, the morning after should have been awkward...Let me guess, your roomate hasn't seen her since. I would have reminded your roomate "Bro's before Ho's". He knew how you felt and should have squashed it from there. Not ask for your permission and put you in an awkward position.