DuskCrush Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Clarity on a situation that happened earlier in the year (I posted this in another thread but it died) This guy (at a place I previously worked at) and I started eyef*cking for a week...then he tried to approach me but I gave him a dirty look out of fear...but he kept staring at me. Then I realized that he was looking to see if it was safe to approach. So the next time I sensed his interest, I moved into the kitchen and two seconds later he came into the room. And then he dropped the "how you doin'" line with a flirty voice. It totally turned me off and I screwed up my face and he just turn around and left. A week later. I sensed his interest again and went to the kitchen...he immediately came into the kitchen. But he was looking at me all lovey-doveyish and I got scared and left quickly. Third time (two weeks later) - I went into the kitchen and he followed. This time--> we had an awesome conversation. He just asked -how are you? And about my life and hobbies and so on. I was so psyched but then we had to get back to work. I felt I didn't show enough interest so after leaving the kitchen. I brought him a report (fake excuse to show interest). Then he brought me a report right after. Then he started to breathe hard and stare at my breast. I was kinda like --oh no is he just looking for a fling? We cut off the conversation. I don't remember how exactly but I didn't really respond. Anyway---he started talking to me after that but I started resenting the conversations because I was like --omgod is he using work as a way to date me instead of actually dating me? That's what it felt like...also the conversation felt more like a question and answer session other than one with real rapport. It was kinda awkward and not fun...also he started acted irritated because one I zoned out a bit. Anyway a little after that I sensed a change in his vibe. He just wasn't the guy who would follow me into a kitchen anymore. So one day while he was making a two minute chitchat I flat out asked: Do you have a girlfriend. He: ....*pause*....Now? Me: Do you have a girlfriend? He: Actually I have Me: Oh, you have...*pause* so how come you don't mention spending time with her? He: oh well she gets off work late so we don't get to spend time together. Me: oh (*reeling with the knowledge but trying to act un-phased) well you should still spend time with her. He: Um, actually yesterday I met her Me: oh.... He: Well, what about you? *And this is the part where I got saved because my supervisor came and asked me to do something and I had to leave. I'm glad I didn't get the chance to say -I didn't have a bf because then I would have looked lame. End of conversation. So what do you think of that whole thing? Was he ever interested in dating me?...do you think he always had a girlfriend?
musemaj11 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 This sounds like a scene straight from an episode of The Office.
Author DuskCrush Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 really? ---lol...if you ever find the time, link me to that episode. but what do you think of the situation?
musemaj11 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I dont understand whats really going on in the story and neither does anyone else. Thats why nobody is responding. LOL
Author DuskCrush Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 did I explain it badly or made the story sound confusing?
TaraMaiden Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Leave him alone, If he has a GF, he's possibly a cheater, and you're breaking them up. If he has no GF, then it was a ploy to get you to back off, or see whether you'd play dirty with him behind her back. Either way, he's a waste of space, and this is a waste of time. WORKING time. D'you get paid to flirt? No, I thought not. Point made. NEXT!!
restart Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 I read your response to my posting in the In Search Of, regarding an at work relationship....(or lack thereof!!). Well, its similar but different I have to admit. I had asked the lady out and received a yes, then no, then yes response, after which everything just got convoluted due to overtime and not being able to approach her as easily thereafter etc, and the eye stares was all I was left with. I never did the "follow her into the kitchen approach", rather ours occurred almost accidently (actually I went into the coffee room but wasnt at all sure if she'd arrive while I was in there!..it just happened). I hate doing things like that, I mean give him your phone number after the 1st meeting, not sure if you did (that way get away from the darn workplace interruptions that can happen). Now the advice, ok. This guy's acting creepy..I cant understate that, since for him to say that he only had the girlfriend since yesterday? What was that? Was he trying to say it was you, oh really? Is that how it maybe came across? Now I have to admit, approaches in the workplace can be awkward, due to the timing, interruptions, and obviously people are usually in work mode rather than lovey dovey mode of course. But on the face of it, I would have to agree totally with your senses, that is stop the at-work dating that he's doing, (yes thats what he appears to be doing, and maybe just needed to reminded about it) and just go instead for a 1hr afterwork chat or whatever. I think you should let him know too, that the cube meetings should stop (do you think other people arent hearing it all it could get annoying etc) or at least let him call and have you respond. I would stay away from this at work, unless you really have an outofwork meeting and it goes as you like it without further creepy connotations! You dont that.
Author DuskCrush Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 (edited) Thanx for the response! No--what he meant was --he met with her yesterday...not that he met her yesterday. No--I didn't give him my number. I figured moving into the kitchen (plus previously holding his gave a lot) was enough signs of interest. I mean a woman doesn't hold a guy stare for long times unless she is interested. Yeah...I felt as if he was trying to 'date' me at work instead of actually asking me out. What I want to know is --do you think he always had a girlfriend and that's why he didn't ask me out or do you think he got one as time went by? Edited December 9, 2010 by DuskCrush
TaraMaiden Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Why does it matter? A taken person is off-limits, period. Until he's free - and you know for sure, he is - lay off.
restart Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 Ok, reread it. But still sounds creepy, he was lying. He continued to keep trying (ie 3rd time finally) and then your report exchange thing, so he was obviously not sure how to even commence but if he REALLY had a girlfriend, I think he would've been more assured. You know, having a girlfriend to some is just having a date relationship, I mean its hard to judge this just by your description, the visual part that you're witnessing has GOT to play a big part, because body language usually doesnt lie! His facial, his body movements, that you've got to see and judge (well I dont mean judge, but make some sort of assessment, and don't 2nd guess yourself cos what you see is real!). And why would he get IRRITATED..my gosh, does he think he owns you already, just from a conversation eeee!? 90% of me is saying stay away, (since this happened in the past or is still), but a longer outofworkplace conversation would certainly clarify things for you, I mean, where does he want to go with this, unless you're willing to accept his present lies, then how much longer will that go on? If he's lying from the start, don't set yourself up for more pain. Tread carefully!
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