Vampiress Posted March 12, 2004 Posted March 12, 2004 Hey well I have a littel question/ sinario. Ok I'm going to go see a concert in the city where my X lives. I haven't seen him since I moved out of his house in September. I haven't talked to him in like two months. I left some stuff at his house when I left. He was supposed to bring them back to me but he never did. He made this big deal about that when and if I get my stuff back that "it's" final or over he's never going to talk to me again. I was ok do what you have to do, do whatever you want with it cause you dont talk to me neways, I kinda need some of my stuff back. The computer was kinda expensive. I still have keys to his house so a friend told me that I should just go into his house and get my stuff. That its my stuff that im getting. But thats just seems wrong. So what should I do, I'm pretty sure I should ask him, I just dont know how? I dont know how I can ask without him saying no? how could I ask?
sweetbilly Posted March 12, 2004 Posted March 12, 2004 Sorry, I wish I could help. This is exactly the reason why I don't move my belongings into another persons house when i'm dating them. I wouldn't go into his house if he's not there, if he calls the cops you could be arrested for breaking and entering, if he decides to be an a$$ about it. Kiss Booty!
hurtingandconfused Posted March 12, 2004 Posted March 12, 2004 When my ex broke up with me I got my stuff back. Most of my friends told me that they were just possessions, to simply leave them. It did not matter if my items were not expensive or valuable. The point that I was trying to make was that they belonged to me and I wanted them back. Yes call him and tell him that you are going to be near his house/app if its okay for you to pick up the rest of your stuff.
moimeme Posted March 12, 2004 Posted March 12, 2004 if he calls the cops you could be arrested for breaking and entering Conversely, I think you can charge him with theft if he doesn't return your possessions.
Midnight Magic Posted March 18, 2004 Posted March 18, 2004 Been there and done that I took the cops to the house with me, when the ex refused to give me all my stuff. They tell me that this happens all the time when couples break up, and they wont give your possessions back. In your case it is easy as you have the key, with me I had to hire a locksmith to break the lock and then reinstall another one and then the police took my ex back his new set of keys. I got my stuff back and was not charged with break and enter. Why should someone be childish and not return your personal property. Get your stuff today, call the police it takes about an hour for them to show up..
from ND Posted March 20, 2004 Posted March 20, 2004 I am having the same problem. My ex (even when we fought) would hide or hold my stuff for ransom, she would even hold my mail as a bargaining chip to get me back. Right now, I am in Washington. I came here on the train with the clothes I had on, because when I split, it was for my emotional and physical well being. She has since promised to mail my clothing and belongings out here, but then will "Jeckyl and Hyde" change her mind. I have been here nearly 3 weeks and still no stuff. I have decided, that its her way of hanging on to the relationship, I found a thrift shop and have since got a few new clothes, You dont need possesions to move on, but I can relate, to you, WHY if there is no more relationship would she wanna keep these things, I have thought about calling the cops too, but she would come up with something insane like "how dare you!":
befuddled11 Posted March 20, 2004 Posted March 20, 2004 Vampiress, unless you left him in the dark of night, running for your life and not able to take your possessions, WHY on earth would you end a relationship and move out of the place you shared, and LEAVE something like a computer there? Why do people do this? I can understand it if a person feels they're in some kind of personal danger and they need to "get out now" and don't have the time or ability to remove their belongings, but WHY do so many people break up and leave belongings there? To me that's just silly. If you're going to make a break, make a total break. Leaving belongings behind, no matter what their cost, just keeps a type of "connection" there, and a reason for further contact. Of course, I guess there are people who do it for that very reason...they *want* to have an excuse for contact down the road, or to have to "see" the other person. So in closing, what were you THINKING, by leaving an expensive computer and other things? I don't get it.
from ND Posted March 20, 2004 Posted March 20, 2004 when the girl has physically harmed you in the past, and has threatened more of it, like in my case, you leave everything and get far away. I didnt want a reason for further contact believe me, I had to ESCAPE!
moimeme Posted March 20, 2004 Posted March 20, 2004 ND. You may have felt emotional, but hopping a train across the country is a little extreme. You could have gone for a long walk. You can call the police (don't tell her - just do it) but the problem is that they won't know what stuff is yours and if she doesn't cooperate, how can they tell? If you had stayed in the town, you could at least have gone with the police to tell them which stuff was yours. Anyway, call them and see what they suggest. Stealing mail is a crime and she can be put in jail for it.
befuddled11 Posted March 20, 2004 Posted March 20, 2004 Originally posted by from ND when the girl has physically harmed you in the past, and has threatened more of it, like in my case, you leave everything and get far away. I didnt want a reason for further contact believe me, I had to ESCAPE! As you'll see if you re-read my response, I did mention an "exception".....about people who feel they're in personal danger and feel they have no choice but to leave immediately, and don't have the opportunity to take their belongings with them. However, I think *these* situations are not nearly as common as people might believe. I guess I can only think back to my abusive marriage (which I posted the details of last weekend, and the night I fled in the night, to the police station). There was no way in the world I was going to leave him and leave him all of the furniture I'd brought into the marriage..things I'd worked my ass off for. It wasn't brain surgery......I simply made arrangements with a local moving company to meet me at the house when I knew he was at work, and they loaded up everything (bed, sofa, loveseat, boxes, appliances, bedroom suite, etc etc) in less than 2 hours...and they moved it all to my new place. That new place wasn't the "house of my choice"....it was an older rather run-down townhouse in an old part of town, but it was available and affordable and it got me the hell away from him. I had made plans to leave him, and I played along with him, while making these plans. So he had no idea I was leaving. It wasn't that hard, and he was a very suspicious, sharp cookie. Not saying it's that easy for everyone, surely......but I'd say in most cases, it only takes a little forethought and planning to get your stuff and get out.
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