tlind Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Is it alright to ask a woman at the end of the date if you can kiss her, or do you just go for it if the mood seems to call for it? Seems like a very obvious answer to most on here, but those of us (me) just getting our feet wet in the world of dating, is this okay or not...please, honest answers and opinions. I just don't want to seem like some kind of creeper or perv if I go in for a kiss. Should you ever ask?
Star Gazer Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Some women love it, and find it the sign of a true gentleman. Some women hate it, and find it a turn off. They prefer a man who goes after what he wants, who's hand doesn't shake as it goes up her shirt. I'm in that group.
deebeechrisyo Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Never ask! Just go for it. It took me a while to overcome that "wall" in my mind but after I did, I have never met a girl who was turned off by me going in for the kiss. Most turned into make outs actually.
DuskCrush Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I don't like a guy who tries to kiss me when I don't want to be kissed and I wouldn't like it if a guy asked to kiss me.... Just feel out her vibe...go for her cheek first...
Green Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 It's all about being romantic. I think its romantic to just go for it when you feel the time is right. But if you have some romantic way of asking then go ahead... most likely you will be better off just going for the kiss with out asking.
griffinchicken53 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I'm a little frightened by this. Whenever this occurs I'm gonna freak out.
denise_xo Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 There's no fixed answer to this for me, it just kind of has to fit with the man and the situation. I think it can be quite nice when a man asks so I don't agree with the chorus that say 'DON'T EVER DO IT'. Just go with whatever you think is right for the situation and do so confidently (if you ask, do that confidently, too). Sometimes asking first creates that little extra nice tension, if it's done in the right way. But if I like the guy I wouldn't object if he just kissed me, either
Perhaps Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 This reminds me.. I have a friend that almost became my girlfriend... so while we were trynna figure out whether we should go ahead and date, at the end of one of our.. 'meetings', it got really awkward 'cause I didn't know whether to say ".. 'kay bye" or to hug. I definitely didn't wanna kiss 'cause I didn't know how she felt about it. So my dumba** mutters, "Can I kiss you?" She just put her cheek forward and I went for it. It worked out better than I imagined it would. I was thinking of parting with a "HI FIVE!" So: never ask. It's an 'in the moment' thing. You will both lean in. Trust me, it's better than, "i can haz kiss?"
Green Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Its about being ROMANTIC. Like their are varying levels of intamacy but lets just narrow it down to 3 for fun and to make it less complicated. 1) Touching 2) Kissing 3) Sex Remember ROMANCE women love ROMANCE 1) Touching... yes its VERY important for romance. Everything from the simple hand holding to putting ur hand on their thigh,leg, knee, arm, boob, boobs... u get the point. Think "What sounds good" does "can I hold your hand" sound better then just feeling the moment and taking her hand in yours... Maybe when she tells a joke that made you laugh... you just put ur hand on her knee quickly as a friendly gesture that build tension/romantic tension 2) Kissing (yes why this thread is here). If you feel the moment for a kiss like you really want to do it... better to be apologizing for an unwanted kiss then kicking yourself for missing a great moment. 3) I would really recomend against being so bold as to say "can we have sex" in fact you'd be better off just sugesting "Lets have sex" then "can we have it" or "do you want to have sex" ALL VERY LAME. Better to feel the moment and go with the flow. Her panties won't come off unless she wants sex... and even then she might back out so no point in even asking when all the clothes are on. Asking for permission to do things just gets lame. Better to develop your body language reading skills along with reading between the lines of what is said. Like if she says "you have nice lips" and then u might as well take that as "kiss me" Also Never air on the side of caution always better to be brave and bold and face rejection. Girls often hide their intent because of their own GREATER fear of rejection. (they like to do the rejecting not the other way around) So the bolder you are the more reward you will get.
angielove Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 In general, it's best not to ask... but sometimes it really does depend on the situation, as others have said. I REALLY liked a guy and was sooooo attracted to him, and after a night out drinking he asked if he could kiss me. I wasn't turned off... I was ecstatic lol! However I have been on a few dates where I wasn't that interested and they asked to kiss me. That was a turn-off. So to summarize, just try to assess the situation and her mood. But if you must bring it up, just blatantly stating "I really want to kiss you right now" sounds a lot better to me than politely asking for it! xx
tigressA Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 But if you must bring it up, just blatantly stating "I really want to kiss you right now" sounds a lot better to me than politely asking for it! xx I love it when a guy says something like that. I like it when a guy asks, too--it seems gentlemanly. It's also nice to just go for it. Ultimately, it's situation-dependent.
Green Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 But if you must bring it up, just blatantly stating "I really want to kiss you right now" sounds a lot better to me than politely asking for it! xx I love it when a guy says something like that. I like it when a guy asks, too--it seems gentlemanly. It's also nice to just go for it. Ultimately, it's situation-dependent. Just saying "I really want to kiss you, right now" is cooler then "May I kiss you?"... heck just saying "I want to kiss you" isn't asking though.
Author tlind Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Its about being ROMANTIC. Like their are varying levels of intamacy but lets just narrow it down to 3 for fun and to make it less complicated. 1) Touching 2) Kissing 3) Sex Remember ROMANCE women love ROMANCE 1) Touching... yes its VERY important for romance. Everything from the simple hand holding to putting ur hand on their thigh,leg, knee, arm, boob, boobs... u get the point. Think "What sounds good" does "can I hold your hand" sound better then just feeling the moment and taking her hand in yours... Maybe when she tells a joke that made you laugh... you just put ur hand on her knee quickly as a friendly gesture that build tension/romantic tension 2) Kissing (yes why this thread is here). If you feel the moment for a kiss like you really want to do it... better to be apologizing for an unwanted kiss then kicking yourself for missing a great moment. 3) I would really recomend against being so bold as to say "can we have sex" in fact you'd be better off just sugesting "Lets have sex" then "can we have it" or "do you want to have sex" ALL VERY LAME. Better to feel the moment and go with the flow. Her panties won't come off unless she wants sex... and even then she might back out so no point in even asking when all the clothes are on. Asking for permission to do things just gets lame. Better to develop your body language reading skills along with reading between the lines of what is said. Like if she says "you have nice lips" and then u might as well take that as "kiss me" Also Never air on the side of caution always better to be brave and bold and face rejection. Girls often hide their intent because of their own GREATER fear of rejection. (they like to do the rejecting not the other way around) So the bolder you are the more reward you will get. I guess it really is about breaking those first 3 barriers as you stated. Once they are out of the way it should be a lot easier to continue. I mean, if you give a woman a kiss on the check at the end of the night and a future date is confirmed and she doesn't flake on it... That most likely means she likes you and at the end of date two, a kiss on the mouth instead of cheek....I think to much, I gotta stop doing that and just go with the flow. Analyzing things to death usually is similar to giving me a loaded gun pointed at my foot. There is this one cute girl who I asked to dinner and she replied with "I'd love to go to dinner with you sometime". It sounds promising, but I need to not be to "gentlemen like" and go with what feels right, and not with what my brain thinks is right... I just don't want to screw it up because I'm to afraid of breaking those barriers.
Author tlind Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 In general, it's best not to ask... but sometimes it really does depend on the situation, as others have said. I REALLY liked a guy and was sooooo attracted to him, and after a night out drinking he asked if he could kiss me. I wasn't turned off... I was ecstatic lol! However I have been on a few dates where I wasn't that interested and they asked to kiss me. That was a turn-off. So to summarize, just try to assess the situation and her mood. But if you must bring it up, just blatantly stating "I really want to kiss you right now" sounds a lot better to me than politely asking for it! xx I like that, I think that is probably what I'd feel most comfortable with doing.
Green Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I like that, I think that is probably what I'd feel most comfortable with doing. Same goes for a lot of things. "lets get dinner at this great place I know" sounds better then "Will you come to dinner with me"... but for the things you don't have to ask for.. .better not to ask. Like if you want to dance with a girl and she isn't dancing then grab her hand and take her to dance floor... if she is already dancing then just start dancing with her
reservoirdog1 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I don't think you should ask -- you should just go for it, if the indications are there. What indications? Try the most obvious, based on body language. When you're with her, position yourself at some point so that you're fairly close to her. Standing next to her, sitting next to her, sitting at a perpendicular (rather than opposite) side of a table from her. While talking, gradually move in closer. Lean forward. After you've been chatting for awhile, try looking her in her eyes and holding her gaze for a couple of seconds. Do this once as a "test". If she breaks your gaze by looking to the side, that suggests she might not be interested -- she's trying to lose you from her field of vision. If she breaks your gaze by looking down, however, that's an indication of interest in the form of "submission", though she probably isn't quite ready for you to kiss her yet. Wait until you can again meet her gaze and hold it for a second or two, without her breaking it. What you do next depends on how comfortable you are. If you're a bit ballsy and willing to take a chance, once you're holding her gaze the second time, lean in and kiss her. Don't try to remove her tonsils or use your tongue -- just touch your lips to hers, hold it for a second, and pull back. Watch her face when you pull back. If you see that she has her eyes closed, that's an excellent sign -- you've successfully warmed her to the idea of kissing you, and she liked it. Talk to her a bit more, take her hand in yours while your talking, stroke it a bit. Kiss #2 will follow. If you're not quite that ballsy, after you've met her gaze the second time and held it, try saying "I'm finding it really hard to not kiss you right now." You're not asking, like a wuss -- you're announcing your intention and desire. How she responds on hearing that should give you all the indication you need. Make it happen mang...
Banega100 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 when youve ended the date a little prematurely, cos youre all cool and that, then you walk her to her door. she spins around. and you look her in the eyes and say 'ill see you then' in a james bond way. keep looking into her eyes for a fraction longer then kiss her. Bingo bango. Never ask. Pointless.
Author tlind Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Same goes for a lot of things. "lets get dinner at this great place I know" sounds better then "Will you come to dinner with me"... but for the things you don't have to ask for.. .better not to ask. Like if you want to dance with a girl and she isn't dancing then grab her hand and take her to dance floor... if she is already dancing then just start dancing with her Basically, have CONFIDENCE! I don't think you should ask -- you should just go for it, if the indications are there. What indications? Try the most obvious, based on body language. When you're with her, position yourself at some point so that you're fairly close to her. Standing next to her, sitting next to her, sitting at a perpendicular (rather than opposite) side of a table from her. While talking, gradually move in closer. Lean forward. After you've been chatting for awhile, try looking her in her eyes and holding her gaze for a couple of seconds. Do this once as a "test". If she breaks your gaze by looking to the side, that suggests she might not be interested -- she's trying to lose you from her field of vision. If she breaks your gaze by looking down, however, that's an indication of interest in the form of "submission", though she probably isn't quite ready for you to kiss her yet. Wait until you can again meet her gaze and hold it for a second or two, without her breaking it. What you do next depends on how comfortable you are. If you're a bit ballsy and willing to take a chance, once you're holding her gaze the second time, lean in and kiss her. Don't try to remove her tonsils or use your tongue -- just touch your lips to hers, hold it for a second, and pull back. Watch her face when you pull back. If you see that she has her eyes closed, that's an excellent sign -- you've successfully warmed her to the idea of kissing you, and she liked it. Talk to her a bit more, take her hand in yours while your talking, stroke it a bit. Kiss #2 will follow. If you're not quite that ballsy, after you've met her gaze the second time and held it, try saying "I'm finding it really hard to not kiss you right now." You're not asking, like a wuss -- you're announcing your intention and desire. How she responds on hearing that should give you all the indication you need. Make it happen mang... To reiterate... CONFIDENCE! "Say girl, let me taste them lips". Your avatar makes that quote that much funnier... I'm seeing a pattern with the confidence theme... I see how confidence really is sexy to people... makes sense to. That is one aspect that is somewhat lacking with me, and I'm working hard on building that up... replacing old limiting thoughts with new ones.
refurb Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I don't like a guy who tries to kiss me when I don't want to be kissed and I wouldn't like it if a guy asked to kiss me.... LOL!! Oh wait.. you were serious? LOL! RF
Feelin Frisky Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I asked once. It just seem necessary based upon her body chemistry and apparent awkwardness. She was pleased and said: "that's what I like about you, you make things so easy". Other than that once, it never seemed "necessary" and so, I never asked.
Thierro Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 (edited) So: never ask. It's an 'in the moment' thing. You will both lean in. Trust me, it's better than, "i can haz kiss?" You should text her 'I can haz kiss?' when you feel like you want to kiss her. They'll jump you. I don't ask: I enjoy the rush. Edited December 8, 2010 by Thierro
waynebrady Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I would never kiss a woman without asking first. I'm not gonna risk getting sued for assault, sexual harrasment or attempted rape. I play it safe
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