fishtaco Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 So I got this hot chick's number over the weekend. My approach was great, the dog and pony show I put on was, well there's always room for improvement, but was pretty good. I mean I did get her number, so mission accomplished. So I called her today, it's her real number, which is good, sometimes they give out fake numbers. But she didn't answer, gee, what a surprise. My usual thing is I leave a voice mail inviting her out some place, and then that's it. If she returns my call, we go from there, if not, I don't care because I multi date anyway. But I was so nervous... I couldn't joke around and be funny like I could when I'm in a face-to-face situation. And this is not even about if she's going to call me back. I am disappointed at myself even if she does call me back. Noob step #1, don't be nervous, at least don't show it. I need more training dammit. But it's difficult to practice because with some women, I don't get nervous at all. So with the next five women, it'd be no problem, then suddenly I'd get another one that get I all freaked out about. Man. I'd prefer not to have any sort of chemical enhancements, I want to be able to do this on my own, but maybe I should do a few tequila shots before I call next time.
waynesworld Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I've been victim to nervousness on the phone too, so I get it. Voicemail is the bane of me. I've found that having a conversation with someone (a friend, co-worker, even a family member) before the call helps though. It's a conversation warm-up of sorts instead of going in there cold.
welikeincrowds Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Dude, whatever. I can't even tell you how many times I've had this exact same thought. "Oh yeah, she gave me a fake, got a fake for sure." Real. "Oh yeah, sounded like an *******, why did I try to joke around on the voicemail? Attraction ruined, I'm an idiot, no callback." Like ****ing George Costanza over here. Somehow I always seem to get the callback. Not that it matters, you just never know with people. God, LOL. I wish you luck my bro.
Author fishtaco Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 That's the thing, I want to be able to NOT get nervous, and have the perfect performance. Yeah, ultimately, this getting nervous business has little to do with the outcome. If she likes me, she's not going to let this little thing change her mind. If anything she might thinks it's cute that I got all nervous. I know when women get nervous around me, I think it's cute as opposed to losing interest in them. But I feel like such a noob. Although she is a different breed. She's ALWAYS the center of attention. She the type of women that guys without confidence would sit by the sidelines and gawk, and the over confidence douches would be swarming all over her. And that was my show, I played the over confident douche. She's not merely the passive beauty that guys are drooling over, she actively enjoys all this male attention, in fact she basks in it and seeks it out. Therefore I think the game to get her requires show no weakness, and after a couple of weeks, even if I succeed, most likely I'd be replaced. Which is fine by me. So this is really a test of my nerves; I passed the face-to-face approach, but screwed up the phone. That's actually more important than "getting" this chick. Give a man a fish vs teach him how to fish. Anyway, there's always room for improvement. But thanks guys for sharing your experiences too.
welikeincrowds Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Hmmm. It doesn't sound very fun, what you're doing here with this girl. I say this as a man who lives for competition and challenge. I realize we all put on masks while we're dating, but are you so sure about all the ones you're wearing?
welikeincrowds Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I passed the face-to-face approach, but screwed up the phone. This is so wrong, by the way. The point is that everyone screws up the phone. For me, it can be nothing at all, or nerve wracking, at seemingly absolute random. That's why if you feel your nerves coming on, you pour yourself a glass of woodford reserve. And if you get the voicemail, keep it as simple as possible. "Hey, this is ____ from _____, I want to get together so give me a call." With these tools in your belt, you will not fail. Well, you might, but whatever, at least you had a glass of whiskey.
slownumbers81 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Don't be so hard on yourself! Relax I've heard the best relationships are the ones where you can just be yourself, and not worry about saying the right thing or saying the wrong thing. So just remember that and take it easy. It's okay to be nervous when calling someone, and totally normal/common. If the person is not interested, it's their loss. Move on and until you find a great girl you enjoy talking to and vice versa. It will happen, trust me.
deebeechrisyo Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I think you are in good shape here man. The fact that you called her instead of texted her like all the other cowards do will win you points. I may be in the minority here, but I really think that acting a little nervous is actually preferable to the flawless, smooth guy. Calling her showed confidence, and the nervousness might have conveyed that you like her and aren't just woman #15 that you hit on this month.
Author fishtaco Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 This is so wrong, by the way. The point is that everyone screws up the phone. For me, it can be nothing at all, or nerve wracking, at seemingly absolute random. That's why if you feel your nerves coming on, you pour yourself a glass of woodford reserve. And if you get the voicemail, keep it as simple as possible. "Hey, this is ____ from _____, I want to get together so give me a call." With these tools in your belt, you will not fail. Well, you might, but whatever, at least you had a glass of whiskey. You're absolutely right. I was still trying to be the smooth talker on the phone, but when I felt nerves coming on, I should have bailed on that and kept it simple. Very good point. Maybe eventually I can psyche myself out out of that nervousness when I feel it. I've got the face-to-face approach down, I can do it for the phone call too. It just takes more training. I already know how to date certain types of women. For example, the straight forward types. What I do with them? Be straight forward. I already know when to call and what to say, and I'm not afraid to do it, if I get nervous, they'll let it slide if they like me. They tend to make better relationship partners anyway. But I've never played in the "hot chicks with douchebags" scene. I want to figure it out, before I get into a serious relationship, most likely with a straight forward girl.
TaraMaiden Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Ah modern terminology......! When I read the thread title, I really thought you mean't 'bad'...as in 'great'.....! (Do we blame Michael Jackson for that 180 twist in usage....?) Lift the phone. Breathe. I mean it. Breathe deeply two or three times. When nervous, we hyperventilate, deprive the brain of much-needed oxygen, can't think straight and panic. Rehearse. Hi, my name's *fishtaco* we've connected on the internet, and I thought I'd give you a call. if it feels right, call me back. Hope to talk soon. By for now* 'click'. It's really not that hard. be natural, be brief, be yourself. Nobody else is better qualified.
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