mike04 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Hey all my GF broke up with me 4 months ago but we got back together a week later and we've been dating ever since. Recently it became obvious to me that she was not putting any effort into the relationship, possibly seeing someone else, or maybe just no longer interested in me. I thought about breaking up with her because it was driving me crazy but instead I told her we should take a break. She liked that idea, and I've been doing NC ever since. It's only been 4 days and she just texted me asking me how I've been. Do I ignore it completely or give her something like a 1 word response? Also, if she texts again what do I do? Thanks in advance I really like this girl!
ccnaboy2000 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Hey all my GF broke up with me 4 months ago but we got back together a week later and we've been dating ever since. Recently it became obvious to me that she was not putting any effort into the relationship, possibly seeing someone else, or maybe just no longer interested in me. I thought about breaking up with her because it was driving me crazy but instead I told her we should take a break. She liked that idea, and I've been doing NC ever since. It's only been 4 days and she just texted me asking me how I've been. Do I ignore it completely or give her something like a 1 word response? Also, if she texts again what do I do? Thanks in advance I really like this girl! Ehh me personally I would be inclined to ignore it for a while and gauge her response to your elusiveness.
TaraMaiden Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 It depends. Did you put a time factor on the length of your break? Did you agree to NC, or is this something you personally just decided to do? is it really your intention to be on a 'break' - or are you actually working up to breaking up with her? (I get the impression you chickened out of dumping her, but would really prefer that. I could be wrong.....) if she's unaware of your thoughts - don't you think it might be common decency and courtesy to let her know what you've been thinking?
Author mike04 Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 It depends. Did you put a time factor on the length of your break? Did you agree to NC, or is this something you personally just decided to do? is it really your intention to be on a 'break' - or are you actually working up to breaking up with her? (I get the impression you chickened out of dumping her, but would really prefer that. I could be wrong.....) if she's unaware of your thoughts - don't you think it might be common decency and courtesy to let her know what you've been thinking? Yes there is a time factor and a day where the break ends. What happens on that day is still for me to decide. We didn't agree to NC nor did we talk about it, but based off her lack of interest in me lately it is something I need to do regardless. Also, she should understand that she shouldn't be talking to me during this time anyways and she didn't til day 4 which is waaaayy different than how often we used to talk. Perhaps her curiosity is getting to her. Also my intention of the break was to decide for myself what I really want to do. Breaking up with her is a big possibility, but not 100% or even 80%. Until it is 100%, there is no reason to do it because a sense of regret is bound to linger. She knows that I haven't been content with the relationship for a while and me not talking to her shouldn't be a big surprise. As for courtesy to let her know I still don't know and that is the main point of this post. Perhaps I'll give her a hint if she texts me again. Otherwise, I may wait a few days and give her a simple response like "I'm fine". I really don't think breaking NC to tell her i'm doing NC is going to get me anywhere. What's your opinion on this based off the info I provided above?
TaraMaiden Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Yes there is a time factor and a day where the break ends. What happens on that day is still for me to decide. Actually, isn't it for the both of you to discuss, and decide? We didn't agree to NC nor did we talk about it, but based off her lack of interest in me lately it is something I need to do regardless. Fine but you owe it to her to lket her know that this is what you are doing. She's not psychic, so why should you expect her to know or understand, 'regardless'...? Also, she should understand that she shouldn't be talking to me during this time anyways Why should she? If you haven't clarified this with her, this isn't a given.... and she didn't til day 4 which is waaaayy different than how often we used to talk. Perhaps her curiosity is getting to her. or perhaps she's wondering what the hell you think you're playing at, given that you seem to want to hold all the cards, control the situation and keep her in the dark. This really isn't playing at 'break' fair..... Also my intention of the break was to decide for myself what I really want to do. Breaking up with her is a big possibility, but not 100% or even 80%. Until it is 100%, there is no reason to do it because a sense of regret is bound to linger. She knows that I haven't been content with the relationship for a while and me not talking to her shouldn't be a big surprise. When we ASSUME we make an ass out of u and me. Right now, you're coming off as a complete ass. The whole point of a relationship is that input, decisions and discussions are a two way thing. Why should you be the one to decide everything? And if the intention to break up isn't so high, why bother going on a break at all? Why not just write her a letter and explain how you feel, and get her input? Who do you think you are to take that right away from her? As for courtesy to let her know I still don't know and that is the main point of this post. If you don't have the courtesy to at least make her aware of things then I'm sorry, but I'm less and less sympathetic with you....It's common manners to at least keep your SO aware of how things stand, particularly if breaking up isn't on the cards right now.... Perhaps I'll give her a hint if she texts me again. Otherwise, I may wait a few days and give her a simple response like "I'm fine". I really don't think breaking NC to tell her i'm doing NC is going to get me anywhere. What's your opinion on this based off the info I provided above? Seriously? If I was her I'd be telling you you're dumped. You're coming off like a controlling jerk, and it makes you sound unpleasant. I think you're being unfair and unreasonable. I really can't begin to think why she should be losing interest in you..... I'm sorry, but you asked. As someone who's been round the block a few times, I know what respect and manners are. I also know they are two qualities becoming rarer and rarer in people, in general. The above only serves to confirm my fears. Serious questions: Do you Respect her? Do you trust her? If the answer is no, then you'd be doing the fairest thing by ending it now. Trust, Respect and Communication are the three supports - the tripod - which sustain a relationship. If one is damaged, the others cannot function to hold it up. If more than one is off.... then kiss it all goodbye, because repair is virtually impossible. Looks like Communication is way off, from your end, as well as the trust, and the above tells me you have zero respect for her.... Looks like she gave up, and it looks like you should.
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