professor_lin Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 (edited) I'm a guy who just got out of a 7 year relationship and never really had to "date" before in my life (like meeting different people on formal dates). In college you meet so many people your age, things would just happen...now I'm in this totally different world with all these social protocols. I'm getting set up with some people and also am meeting some online. However, I find these first dates extremely awkward for me...conversation is fine (I'm not awkward in general) but I guess I don't want to be too forward/creepy by any physical contact, flirting etc. So they've usually touched me or initiated hugs, etc. (I wouldn't initiate out of politeness)...is this bad for a first blind date? From the people I met online, I felt like things went well in person conversationally. After one first date that I really enjoyed, I sent the person a message saying that I liked meeting them and would like to hang out again, so they should email me back sometime. No response yet... would it have been better to have called to arrange something specific, or are they just not interested? Should I just wait or try calling? Again I don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard, but maybe I'm not trying hard enough? I'm in a sink or swim situation here and feel like I'm blowing it! Edited December 8, 2010 by professor_lin
AverageJoe Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I think you may need to get your feet wet a little more. It will take you time, but right now that is a commodity for you. Make the best of it. I cant really speak in terms of online dating, that is something I gave up quite a while ago. It seemed artificial to me. Not to mention many profiles were full of false advertising. I think you should be getting numbers and immediately move things to the phone, keep the email to a bare minimum. Then when you make that call keep it less than five minutes and have a plan as to what you intend. Then execute it with confident authority. Nothing is worse than calling up a girl sounding like a blubbering idiot. You want face to face time. At which point you can size each other up. Do not, I repeat do not, decide on a dinner or a movie. And dont be blowing money on a first date. Be creative. I think you would have better success at just talking to random women, wherever that might be. This is something I do frequently. What is the worse that can happen? They can say no. *gasp* It will happen, count on it, and expect it. For every five no's you may get, you will get at least one yes. Hell, there have been times when I got five straight. Strength is in numbers. Example, just today. I really like to cook so I was at whole foods earlier. I never really bought into the cliche of meeting someone at the super market. But today, wow I saw someone that really knocked my socks off. I had to come up with a plan, and quick. So what did I do? I rounded the corner isle and crashed my shopping cart right into hers. Thats right, boom!! She looked at me like I had an eyeball sticking out of my forehead. I looked right back at her and said, well I can tell we are not going to get along, with a sly smile. It got a laugh out of her and I continued to say, it looks like I am going to have to get your name and number so we can exchange insurance information. And I have to be honest, as you can tell my driving is complete crap and my rates are going to sky rocket. Cheesy? Maybe, but I got her number this evening. And when I call her I know exactly without a doubt what my plans are going to be. The phone call will last no more than five minutes. So yeah man, be assertive and dont sweat the small stuff.
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