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Texted again... so lost

ccnaboy2000

By ccnaboy2000
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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ccnaboy2000 Established Member

ccnaboy2000

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So its been about 5 days since the ex texted me. She was always texting saying she doesnt know why she wants to be single, still wants to be with me but we need to figure out our lives first (my job situation sucks, so it makes sense) Kept saying she still loves me etc.

 

I was strong told her i cant be her friend since i still have feelings and it would be better for her to not contact me for now.

 

I've been strong, remained no contact after this despite her still talking to me. The past 5 days without her texting me has been hard, been getting depressed, but I'm pulling through, resisting the urge to respond. I dont want to get friend zoned. I just want to get my life back in order, find a new job and move back out on my own again, have things back to the way they were when we first started out.

 

I guess I missed a text from her today. She said "I know you don't want to talk to me. But I am going to text you anyways. I just wanted to let you know I think about you everyday and pray for you everynight. And I still love you so much"

 

Texts like these give me hope that maybe someday things will turn around, once I get my life back on track. But its still very hard for me. :\ It makes me happy and sad at the same time when I receive these texts, and so hard not to respond.

Edited by ccnaboy2000
cerridwen Established Member

cerridwen

Posted
Posted

understandable.

Did you respond?

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ccnaboy2000 Established Member

ccnaboy2000

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understandable.

Did you respond?

 

No I made it a point to not respond. It's too hard of me. I've already made a choice and I think it is a good one, that I will respond under two conditions.

 

1.) I get the I made a mistake I want to try things again response.

or

2.) My life gets back on track, I get a decent job, enabling me to put things back to the way they were. But for now it was very stressfull on the relationship with my losing my job and my place. So unless that requirement is met, I doubt things will be much better.

cerridwen Established Member

cerridwen

Posted
Posted

Brilliant. You're right. What's the point in responding when it'll lead to only more of the same? There is no benefit except the short lived fix of having contact with that ex.

 

We play these games with ourselves, thinking that by opening up communication again, a message of reconciliation will come through. But without significant changes, it's all for naught.

 

You've inspired me. Thank you.

suddendumpee Established Member

suddendumpee

Posted
Posted
2.) My life gets back on track, I get a decent job, enabling me to put things back to the way they were. But for now it was very stressfull on the relationship with my losing my job and my place. So unless that requirement is met, I doubt things will be much better.

 

Anyone who truly loves someone would be there by their lover's side regardless of their job status or any status for that matter. Financial issues, job issues, parenting issues, etc. go on your entire life. Will you ever be able to trust her not to bail down the road? Potentially when a messy/expensive divorce, or children could be involved?

 

I feel you on this man, but those are the real questions you need to ask yourself.

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ccnaboy2000 Established Member

ccnaboy2000

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Posted
Anyone who truly loves someone would be there by their lover's side regardless of their job status or any status for that matter. Financial issues, job issues, parenting issues, etc. go on your entire life. Will you ever be able to trust her not to bail down the road? Potentially when a messy/expensive divorce, or children could be involved?

 

I feel you on this man, but those are the real questions you need to ask yourself.

 

Uggh now she just texted again saying "We are going out to breakfast tommorow" I ignored it, and then she just called me and I didnt answer, and she texted after "Stop ignoring me"

 

I dunno what to make of it. Dunno what to do here....

skydiveaddict Established Member

skydiveaddict

Posted
Posted

 

I dont want to get friend zoned. .

 

 

Too late my friend. You're already in the "friend zone". You are now the Mayor of "Friend zone City". Don't continue to let her manipulate you.

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ccnaboy2000 Established Member

ccnaboy2000

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Uggh now she just texted again saying "We are going out to breakfast tommorow" I ignored it, and then she just called me and I didnt answer, and she texted after "Stop ignoring me"

 

I dunno what to make of it. Dunno what to do here....

 

And this just in 10 minutes later "Why are you still ignoring me. I really wanna see you"

 

I dunno, maybe she wants to get back? It's tempting, but if I do go it would probably just set me back. :\ But she does keep texting more and more despite I told her to stop contacting me because its too hard on me unless she wants to work on things. Who knows?

skydiveaddict Established Member

skydiveaddict

Posted
Posted
Who knows?

 

 

I do. She is playing you. Do you really want to play second string to another guy? It's time to start respecting yourself and tell her to leave you the hell alone.

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ccnaboy2000 Established Member

ccnaboy2000

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I do. She is playing you. Do you really want to play second string to another guy? It's time to start respecting yourself and tell her to leave you the hell alone.

 

Yea and now she sent me a half nude pic of her to me. wtf.

skydiveaddict Established Member

skydiveaddict

Posted
Posted

Ignore her, block her #, don't look at her fb page etc. You're going to drive yourself crazy.

sarahlove233 Member

sarahlove233

Posted
Posted

Did you go? She is obviously still into you.

suddendumpee Established Member

suddendumpee

Posted
Posted
Did you go? She is obviously still into you.

 

No she is not! She is just trying to prove her power/control over this guy. As soon as he bites, she will be gone within no time. I guarantee that.

 

To the OP:

You need to send her a very clear, concise, and powerful message to show her that you are taking some of your control (and your entire ballsack) back. Text her this:

"(her name), please understand that I am trying to move on. It has become apparent to me that our relationship was not going to progress, and jumping back in to something would not be a good idea for either of us. I need some time alone to sort some things out. Please do not contact me. I will call you sometime in the future. Take care"

 

This sends the message that you do not NEED her.

 

It sends the message that you are trying to better yourself and become more independent.

 

It gives YOU the power to decide when/if you are going to call, and this will drive her nuts!

 

In this time, go on dates and see whats out there. If after 6-8 weeks, you are still thinking about your ex, then have a casual lunch but do not discuss the relationship. See where things go, but do NOT discuss the past. Focus on a new future. That 6-8 weeks of reflection should help you realize where things went wrong. Don't tell her what she did wrong. You can only change yourself. Hopefully she reflected as well, and will also make necessary changes. If not, there was nothing of substance in the relationship to begin with....move on.

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