Am I being too sensitive?

[curlygirl40]

So here’s some background. And sorry, short stories are not my forte.

 

Met this guy on Match. So you know I’m 40 and he’s 45. Talked on the phone several times, texted some here and there, then we met for dinner. We live just about an hour away from each other, so we met ½ way.

 

We connected immediately. We have the same sense of humor, similar work situations, etc. On the phone and in person we can talk for hours without any break in the conversation.

 

After we met the texts started to get flirty. When we started discussing sex I told him I wasn’t quite ready for that, and he seemed to respect it. (remember we had been on only one date).

 

He was anxious to see me again (the first date was last Thursday). We went out to dinner last night. I met him more towards his place this time and we went out to dinner near where he lives. After dinner we went back to his place so I could see his place and meet his dogs. Only stayed a few minutes. Lots of kissing in that time but he was very respectful and we kept it to that.

 

While I was at his place he told me he wasn’t seeing anyone else, and that he took down his profile on Match. Caught me completely off guard, I wasn’t expecting that conversation so early. He could tell I hesitated so he said ‘if you are or you want to, it’s o.k, I just don’t like to date more than one person at a time, I just like to see where it goes when I find someone I like’. I’m fine with that, more than happy to remove my profile and I have no intentions of seeing anyone else. I didn’t tell him that because I was not prepared for that convo. I wanted to make sure we took it slow.

 

He seems to be trying to move faster than I’m ready for. Not just with sex but other signs of wanting to be in a relationship with me right away. I haven’t decided yet if he always moves that fast, if he’s really into me, or if he is a little bit of a jealous person. I see signs of all 3 of those actually.

 

Also we had a conversation about how we believe texting should be kept light, how ya doing type of stuff, and serious conversations should be kept to phone or in person since there’s so much room for misinterpretation via text.

 

Also, just so you know cuz it might help your answer, he’s very funny. Most of our texts are just us laughing and busting on each other, and text flirting.

 

So today the texting gets flirty again. He asks when he can see me again. I ask him if he wants to do lunch Thursday or Friday more towards my place. He says ‘lunch or ‘lunch’ ’ Like he’s asking me do I really want to do lunch or do I want to fool around. Again catching me off guard so I said ‘?’ and left it at that. He said ‘well think about it’.

 

So we have plans to talk on the phone tonight once the kids are in bed and I’m trying to decide if I should say something to him or just let it go and play it the way I want to play it.

 

I’m a little annoyed. He has told me we will take our time with sex if that’s what I want. So when he says he wants to see me again and I say ‘how about lunch?’ he should just say ‘sure, would love to see you’. Instead I feel like he was waiting to give me an answer about lunch until I told him what I really meant by ‘lunch’.

 

After that I said to him ‘are you free either of those days’ and he picked Friday. So then I said ‘well how about we meet close to my place and go to lunch from there’ and he said ‘sure’. So when prompted, he did the right thing. The sex talk stopped.

 

Believe me, I will be ready soon! I’m 40 and peaking! Lol

 

Do I have the right to be annoyed? Or is he just trying to be prepared? (condoms, Viagra, who the heck knows?) Or was he just trying to be funny? Am I being overly sensitive?

 

It is the third date. Is there something to that?

 

Remember, I’ve been with the same guy for the past 20 years, this is all so new.

 

I want to know that he wants to see me for me. This is the second time that he has done something like this. The second date that we went on the same sort of text exchanged happened prior where it was like he was feeling me out to see what my intentions were for the second date. Even after we agreed we would take it slow.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts. Am I being too sensitive? Thanks!!

[daphne]

I wouldn't get mad about it, just keep an eye on it since you're not ready to hop into bed with him. Your observations are accurate. All men I have dated have tested this out at some point or another, usually before I'm ready to.

 

Don't be mad. Just go at your pace. Guys like sex. It's a good thing. But if you wait long enough you'll know your answer about whether he's into you or not.

[curlygirl40]

Thanks Daphne!! I needed another view. I keep trying to remember that I have some control, even if he's testing the waters. I guess the fact that I'm aware of what he's doing is a good thing. Keeps me on my toes.