wonderwhy1 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 I was wondering when is a good time to move in together after you've been dating. I just learned the hard way that too soon is'nt a good idea. Basically met a girl in June and she pretty much lived with me from that week. Of course it was amazing and an amazing summer together. Then we got a new place the begining of November together and long story short (we had begun fighting a LOT) she was back in contact with her ex (they had just broke up when I met her)..SOOO I had to go.. Anyway How long should you wait?? Has anyone else moved in quickly and had it go down in flames???
Feelin Frisky Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 I don't know--the short answer seems to be there is no right answer. I guess perhaps you should be asking yourself how much time to you want to blow before finding out if a new relationship can work into a marriage. The answer could be to find out sooner than later. Or it could be to just be happy with what you have and hope for the best down the road. If living together (perhaps marrriage) is your imperative, I'd say be clear about this with anyone new and find out sooner than later. Even getting along when living together dosen't mean automatic happiness or compatiability--some things take a lot of time to become the grounds for contentiousness and contempt. I wish you fortune in finding the right SO.
Lauriebell82 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 Of course this will be different for everyone, but I would say wait at LEAST 6 months-a year or so to see how the relationship has developed.
Author wonderwhy1 Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 Has anyone moved in too fast like I did only to realize it was a mistake?
Seamless74 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 The good time to move in together is when you realize either one of you hasnt been at their own house in like a month straight.. until then its never a good idea..
AverageJoe Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 She has her place, you have your place. Why ruin a good thing?
carhill Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 I think this time around she can keep her own house and we'll just shack up on weekends. I ain't buyin' no more houses OP, my first instinct is girlfriend is a bit clingy; if she's 'practically lived with you' since the first week, assuming you're not long-time friends, she essentially moved in with a man she barely knew. Then, when things went sideways, instead of working through it, she 'got in contact with her ex'. Color me old and cynical, but I'd be cautious. Personally, I wouldn't share a domicile with someone unless we were at least engaged to be married. I didn't live with my exW until after we were married. None of her 'habits' surprised me in the least, regarding living together.
denise_xo Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Has anyone moved in too fast like I did only to realize it was a mistake? We moved together way too fast in my current relationship (more or less within a couple of weeks). There were quite specific reasons why it turned out that way and it did blow my relationship, but it definitely caused a lot of additional stress the first year we were together. My rule of thumb would be wait at least a year. In a hypothetical world, I quite like the idea of each having separate apartments in the same apartment building or something
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