Madgick1 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 ... if ud had sex on date 10 he'd be gone date 11, if u had sex date 1, hed be gone date 2, u get it? Dont let anyone start makin u think u put out too quick - serious, girls get crazy about that, if a guy likes u he doesnt care how quick it is, if he is a playa he'll just play u until he gets it, then u wont see him for dust... So maybe you are saying the way to sort out the serious ones from the playas is to have sex with them fairly soon? Before you are emotionally invested? Of course that's hard on a woman's self esteem to date once or twice, have sex, and get dumped. It would make her feel like toilet paper. And yet the thought you can date someone 11 times, sleep with him, and then get dumped without a thought is just as bad. So what's a gal to do? And the thought (supported by other threads here and implied in this one as well) that promising relationships can be derailed by sleeping with a guy too early. SO what's the answer?
Madgick1 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 ... he was a little puppy dog after sex. cuddled like crazy. held my hand over his heart. wouldnt let me out of bed! told me to stay at his place all day. etc... he asked me to come out and walk his dog with him. his phone was on his nightstand right next to me. def not a player. i didnt even have the urge to spy while he was out! thats how serious this was. .... BUT I DO agree with the madonna/whore complex thing - this may be the case with him, considering he is close with his mother and very needy and obsessed with finding love. Hand over the heart, etc...? Very melodramatic. Almost hokey. Over the top. If it eases your heart to believe the Madona/whore thing, fine. But understand, that is a horribly complex and deeply rooted psychological problem. One that CANNOT be discussed out. Nothing you can fix, probably nothing that is ever fixable. And the needy, obsessed momma boy thing is another horrible problem. Are you aware that the problems of a deep seated momma's boy is worse than the problems of an alcoholic? If your theory is correct, any woman who becomes involved with this guy is in for a world of hurt. You think you are hurt now, reel this guy back in and struggle with his emotional problems. Love doesn't fix anyone.
Madgick1 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 im just kicking myself for ruining this, thats all. finally, a good guy comes along and i effing sabotage it with my fear. as usual. You didn't ruin anything. If he's got the m/w complex momma's boy thing going on, he was ruined before you came along. You dodged a bullet.
Author lolarose Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 So maybe you are saying the way to sort out the serious ones from the playas is to have sex with them fairly soon? Before you are emotionally invested? Of course that's hard on a woman's self esteem to date once or twice, have sex, and get dumped. It would make her feel like toilet paper. And yet the thought you can date someone 11 times, sleep with him, and then get dumped without a thought is just as bad. So what's a gal to do? And the thought (supported by other threads here and implied in this one as well) that promising relationships can be derailed by sleeping with a guy too early. SO what's the answer? if a man is seriously interested in you and emotionally ready to be in a long term relationship, sleeping with him on the 1st, 3rd, or 11th date wont matter AT ALL. period.
Madgick1 Posted December 9, 2010 Posted December 9, 2010 but anyway, that doesnt matter anymore. i actually contacted him last night saying i wanted to start over and get a coffee. he responded immediately saying he has been wanting to call me but he was afraid of how id react, and that he was thinking the same thing and that he wanted to start over. we actually ended up getting a drink last night and everything is all good:rolleyes: we are officially going to "date" and not focus so much on the sex. So the m/w complex thing is dead? And he was afraid to contact you? Why would he be afraid to contact you after great sex and mutual admiration? Be careful. He was quick to walk away from you without a fight, he's either hopelessly weak, or found nothing better in the ensuing two weeks, or_______. You need an explanation why he was so noncommunicative. This 'misunderstanding' was NOT all your fault. He is responsible for making himself understood. Take care though, and good luck.
Author lolarose Posted December 9, 2010 Author Posted December 9, 2010 So the m/w complex thing is dead? And he was afraid to contact you? Why would he be afraid to contact you after great sex and mutual admiration? Be careful. He was quick to walk away from you without a fight, he's either hopelessly weak, or found nothing better in the ensuing two weeks, or_______. You need an explanation why he was so noncommunicative. This 'misunderstanding' was NOT all your fault. He is responsible for making himself understood. Take care though, and good luck. nah it was all a misunderstanding. i got an explanation. its kind of a long story. id post it if youd like, for fun, but this thread is kinda dead now. its been solved and im no longer trying to figure him out. obviously no madonna/whore complex, no fear of commitment. its all good.
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