Author lolarose Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 I'm just astounded by your clueless attitude. whats so clueless about my attitude? im just for once taking responsibility and realizing that i may have actually been the one at fault here. its so easy to blame things on the guy. i know when to trust my gut.
Fionah Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 whats so clueless about my attitude? im just for once taking responsibility and realizing that i may have actually been the one at fault here. its so easy to blame things on the guy. i know when to trust my gut. lol. ok. ...........
Author lolarose Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 LOL girl u r too funny - u sound like a nice girl, dont take it personal, he wasnt all that, hes gona do the same to thenext girl....see, how he was wit u, this is standard action for gettin a girl hooked. 1) blast her with the love 2) have sex 3) keep the door open for some more sex but u mite not need to chase that up as ull be chasin the next skirt already. PLAYA dont hate the playa hate the game LOL And the more u say he aint a playa, the more ure showin uve been played...true fact. he did not want to have sex! i did! ive had tons of experience with "playas" or whatever you call them. trust me. i am the complete opposite of naive. haha i wish you knew me in real life.
Girlygirl1977 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 Whatever the reason - he disappeared. His view of you for whatever is not one that you are relationship material. At 36 and acting like this, he may not be relationship material either! So there is no good reason to follow-up.
musemaj11 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 I have to say you got yourself a guy with CHRONIC Madonna/Whore Complex. What beats me is that you really want someone like that. Your life is gonna be like a soap opera.
LondonS Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 OP if it brings your mind to rest, write him a msg and ask him to start all over. No expectations and be prepared for the fact that he might never answer. After that, just move on... online dating world is full of guys like him.
phillyfan Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 he did not want to have sex! i did! ive had tons of experience with "playas" or whatever you call them. trust me. i am the complete opposite of naive. haha i wish you knew me in real life. I wish my 20yr old self had known u in real life cause ud be so easy to get into bed. OK so he is the thing - call him and say hey dude what happened back there. Then he'll tell u, simple. I think ull feel desperado until u do
Girlygirl1977 Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 I found this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t190691/ I dont get the sense you have been playing cool with men as you are saying. Really really - for peace of mind, follow LondonS' advice as it seems you won't rest until you contact him. Others on this thread - take a look at that old thread as to this OP's history.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 i never said i think hes still into me. its pretty damn obvious hes not. im just kicking myself for ruining this, thats all. finally, a good guy comes along and i effing sabotage it with my fear. as usual. Phillyfan! he is not a player! trust me! Why are you so quick to defend him? Whatever or Whomever he is, the obvious thing is that ( yeah! cliche!) " He's not into you". Do you find it encouraging to constantly blame yourself that you're the reason he's backed off? What's wrong wtih calling him a player? They're either players or lovers. Since he doesn't " love" you, then it's clear he " played" you.
Surrealist Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 This is getting pathetic, really. If OP knows best, as per one of the comments, then why come on here and ask the question, and further, argue with everyones' opinions.
Fionah Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 This is getting pathetic, really. If OP knows best, as per one of the comments, then why come on here and ask the question, and further, argue with everyones' opinions. the end.
elastica Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 Maybe the guy has some huge emotional baggage. You really need to realize that you have been with him on 2 dates only. You talk about him here as if you knew him very well, as if you knew what was on his mind when he was with you. But you don't really know him! Let me just say this. How long have you been single exactly? Trust me, I have also been single for years, and I know people simply forget how does a relationship work (even if it's just dating...). Like many of us here, I have been in a relationship with my bf for some time now, and often he says or does sg, either cute or bad that makes me go wtf??? Little nuances of his personality keep me amazed, even after being in a relationship for 1+ years. I think people do not realize, when starting a new realionship, that it takes years, but at least months, to be able to predict, or make any kind of judgement, about your partner's thoughts. So even if you feel instant attraction and "click" with somebody, and it feels like you have known him for a long time, you do not really know this guy. When you say you are 100% positive about this or that ... I know you are. But the reality is, you have no idea what was going on in this guy's head on the 2 dates you had. But anyway, clearly, the guy has issues. If he were a respectful adult without issues, he would have communicated his feelings with you in one way or another, after the sexy times. That is my opinion about people who disappear. Maybe he has mother issues. Trust issues, ex issues, mental issues, family issues, health issues, intimacy issues, you can't know. You desperately want to know why is he gone from you life and keep asking yourself if you did something. If you want to believe that, go ahead, and blame yourself, and keep saying how perfect he is, and that he is not a player, etc. But honestly, there is something I do not understand. It seems to me you are not that much into him after all. So why are you concerned?? And I do like your idea to contact him, in a funny way. If you can do that (contact, but relaxed and funny), it means you are not that hurt. Women who have men disapeared on them usually just moan and cry. I think you have nothing to lose if you contact him. Like you said, you already know he is not into you, so you really can't make the situation worse. Well maybe, for yourself, because if you do contact him, he might take adventage of you, so be careful.
Author lolarose Posted December 7, 2010 Author Posted December 7, 2010 I found this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t190691/ I dont get the sense you have been playing cool with men as you are saying. Really really - for peace of mind, follow LondonS' advice as it seems you won't rest until you contact him. Others on this thread - take a look at that old thread as to this OP's history. lol exactly why i played it so cool with this guy! btw that guy ended up really liking me and it was all a misunderstanding . crazy right?
xpaperxcutx Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 lol exactly why i played it so cool with this guy! btw that guy ended up really liking me and it was all a misunderstanding . crazy right? Actually I'm getting the sense you're narcessitic...
SmileFace Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 :lmao: :lmao: @ the word "playa" being used
Author lolarose Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Actually I'm getting the sense you're narcessitic... haha. actually i just get a kick out of getting a rise out of people. i love coming to these sites and seeing how easily people get so riled up...and so negative! blame it on my masters is sociology if you want, but i love it. people take this all so seriously. Anyway. Thank You! - to all those who responded with thoughtful, eloquent, helpful advice. I appreciate those who articulate their opinion with class and then leave the thread. It's unfortunate that some feel the need to attack and gang up on the OP. I never understood this. When I read a thread, I NEVER have the urge to bring an already hurting person even lower. If my opinion is not what they want to hear, oh well. I leave it alone. I dont argue. These forums are to discuss. I like discussing. I like entertaining opinions. In closing. thanks again. I have decided what Im going to do, based on some of these great responses and my OWN GUT and past experiences. I always play it too cool with a guy, til he loses interest and then i go bonkers with the stalking. lol im not going to do that. im probably not going to contact him for a long time. at least after the holidays. but i definitely need to. LOL I was definitely laughing at the "playa" too. That Phillyfan guy. what a classy one he was.
Author lolarose Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 the end. i cant even believe youre still here.
Author lolarose Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Maybe the guy has some huge emotional baggage. You really need to realize that you have been with him on 2 dates only. You talk about him here as if you knew him very well, as if you knew what was on his mind when he was with you. But you don't really know him! Let me just say this. How long have you been single exactly? Trust me, I have also been single for years, and I know people simply forget how does a relationship work (even if it's just dating...). Like many of us here, I have been in a relationship with my bf for some time now, and often he says or does sg, either cute or bad that makes me go wtf??? Little nuances of his personality keep me amazed, even after being in a relationship for 1+ years. I think people do not realize, when starting a new realionship, that it takes years, but at least months, to be able to predict, or make any kind of judgement, about your partner's thoughts. So even if you feel instant attraction and "click" with somebody, and it feels like you have known him for a long time, you do not really know this guy. When you say you are 100% positive about this or that ... I know you are. But the reality is, you have no idea what was going on in this guy's head on the 2 dates you had. But anyway, clearly, the guy has issues. If he were a respectful adult without issues, he would have communicated his feelings with you in one way or another, after the sexy times. That is my opinion about people who disappear. Maybe he has mother issues. Trust issues, ex issues, mental issues, family issues, health issues, intimacy issues, you can't know. You desperately want to know why is he gone from you life and keep asking yourself if you did something. If you want to believe that, go ahead, and blame yourself, and keep saying how perfect he is, and that he is not a player, etc. But honestly, there is something I do not understand. It seems to me you are not that much into him after all. So why are you concerned?? And I do like your idea to contact him, in a funny way. If you can do that (contact, but relaxed and funny), it means you are not that hurt. Women who have men disapeared on them usually just moan and cry. I think you have nothing to lose if you contact him. Like you said, you already know he is not into you, so you really can't make the situation worse. Well maybe, for yourself, because if you do contact him, he might take adventage of you, so be careful. oops i didnt even see this one. thank you elastica. Interesting point. Actually, I am VERY into him. I usually go for the unavailable ones i cant have and this guy was TOO available. i was shocked at myself for liking him. You say that someone cant contact a guy and be calm when they really really liked him? well, i can because i am not desperate. thats what i always feel separates me from most girls i know. i am not desperate to have a man. thats why i can be calm around guys. i think thats why i have such bad luck with them lol. they dont know what to do with me because i always act the exact opposite of how they expect me to. but anyway, yea....ill probably contact him calmly, but not for awhile. thanks again!
phillyfan Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 LOL I was definitely laughing at the "playa" too. That Phillyfan guy. what a classy one he was. Still am, u make me sound like im dead LOL Your just sore cause it hurt ur pride - cause the guy was such a playa that he got YOU askin for sex on date 2, then HE cut n run. U got playd girl, just deal with it. Now he is pushin ur nose in it by advertisin himself on the dating site, & u wanna be a desparado & start contactin him again. People on here were just bein nice n tryin to save u from a bit of humiliation, u shud thank them.
Author lolarose Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Still am, u make me sound like im dead LOL Your just sore cause it hurt ur pride - cause the guy was such a playa that he got YOU askin for sex on date 2, then HE cut n run. U got playd girl, just deal with it. Now he is pushin ur nose in it by advertisin himself on the dating site, & u wanna be a desparado & start contactin him again. People on here were just bein nice n tryin to save u from a bit of humiliation, u shud thank them. its not about pride, phillyfan, its more about regretting my actions. hes not rubbing anything in my face. hes looking for a girl who he sees as relationship material, since i let him down by being the type of girl he thought i wasnt. but anyway, that doesnt matter anymore. i actually contacted him last night saying i wanted to start over and get a coffee. he responded immediately saying he has been wanting to call me but he was afraid of how id react, and that he was thinking the same thing and that he wanted to start over. we actually ended up getting a drink last night and everything is all good:rolleyes: we are officially going to "date" and not focus so much on the sex. we are both human and were horny. it happens. i think he realized im not that type of girl now. LOL btw philly fan, your "20 year old self" would be a little young for me, thanks. and if you read my original post youd see that i am NOT easy to bed at all.
musemaj11 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 but anyway, that doesnt matter anymore. i actually contacted him last night saying i wanted to start over and get a coffee. he responded immediately saying he has been wanting to call me but he was afraid of how id react, and that he was thinking the same thing and that he wanted to start over. we actually ended up getting a drink last night and everything is all good:rolleyes: we are officially going to "date" and not focus so much on the sex. we are both human and were horny. it happens. i think he realized im not that type of girl now. Good that now you get the chance to start over. Remember to keep it in your pants this time, okay? Anyway, you prove that assertive women win. While insecure women lose.
Author lolarose Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Good that now you get the chance to start over. Remember to keep it in your pants this time, okay? Anyway, you prove that assertive women win. While insecure women lose. haha yea but its only good to be assertive in certain situations.....like this where I realized that this was probably happening because of a misunderstanding and not getting "played".....oh sorry. "playd" lol Im 29 and have been through every type of player there is. i know their game before they play it. i knew i didnt get played. it just didnt feel right. thanks! hope it works out!
musemaj11 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 haha yea but its only good to be assertive in certain situations.....like this where I realized that this was probably happening because of a misunderstanding and not getting "played".....oh sorry. "playd" lol Im 29 and have been through every type of player there is. i know their game before they play it. i knew i didnt get played. it just didnt feel right. thanks! hope it works out! Being assertive doesnt mean you go toward everything head on without thinking it over first because that would be stupidity not assertiveness. The next time you go over to his house, bring a ruler. Everytime dirty thought starts to creep in, hit yourself with it. It works. Trust me I know.
Pleco Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 but anyway, that doesnt matter anymore. i actually contacted him last night saying i wanted to start over and get a coffee. he responded immediately saying he has been wanting to call me but he was afraid of how id react, and that he was thinking the same thing and that he wanted to start over. we actually ended up getting a drink last night and everything is all good:rolleyes: we are officially going to "date" and not focus so much on the sex. we are both human and were horny. it happens. i think he realized im not that type of girl now. Wow, you move quick. Going from planning on not contacting him for a long time, to contacting him, getting a response, AND meeting up all in just a couple hours? This thread is hilarious.
Author lolarose Posted December 8, 2010 Author Posted December 8, 2010 Wow, you move quick. Going from planning on not contacting him for a long time, to contacting him, getting a response, AND meeting up all in just a couple hours? This thread is hilarious. i know, right? the more i thought about it, the more my gut kept telling me to just rip the band-aid off quickly. get it over with. i wish it had hit me sooner. it was almost like he was waiting for me. i knew it!
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